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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Es-pwñ-ol, Part 3

| Newark, NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Technology

(I’m with my mother buying a pouch and a case for my brothers hand-held gaming system. I go off on my own to find some computer games. Not even five minutes later I return to my mom looking very flustered with an employee. My mother and I are Peruvian. She speaks Spanish and struggles with English.)

Me: *in Spanish* “Ma, are you okay?”

Mom: *in Spanish* “No, I can’t remember the stupid name for this s***. The thing that covers the DS for you brother, what is it?”

Me: *to the employee, in English* “Oh, my mom is looking for a cover for the 3DS. Do you have any?”

Employee: “Yes, I showed your mom the selection right here; these are the ones we have.”

Me: *in Spanish* “Ma, they only have these.”

Mom: *in Spanish* “No, this f****** idiot isn’t understanding me! I want the ones in foam because your brother keeps breaking the plastic ones.”

Employee: *in Spanish* “I’m sorry, ma’am, I know what you want. They’re over here at the next aisle.”

(My mom turned a deep shade of red and mumbled out an apology, saying she was flustered and couldn’t control her temper. I was laughing so hard because I’m always telling my mom that just because she thinks they can’t understand her Spanish and talks s***, doesn’t mean she won’t get caught!)

Related:
Es-pwñ-ol, Part 2
Es-pwñ-ol

The Light-Bulb Moment When Wifi Took Over

| Canada | Bizarre, Technology

(I do tech support over the phone for a large Internet company. Some of the worst calls are for people’s wifi connections, because there’s so many things that can interfere with it, and people of course try to hook up everything from Blu-ray players to printers, but we’re only trained on (and support) actual computers.)

Me: “…And is there anything else I can do for you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I got these special [Brand] light bulbs; you can control them from your iPhone?”

Me: “Uh… light bulbs?”

Customer: “Yeah. Except I can’t make it work.”

Me: “So… these light bulbs connect to your home wifi and then you use the iPhone to turn them on and off and things?”

Customer: “Yeah. Can you help me?”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but I don’t have a clue what to do with that. You have your wifi name and password now; I’d suggest talking to [Manufacturer] directly because I’m afraid I’m only trained on computers. I honestly have no idea how to connect your light bulbs to your wifi.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks.”

Me: *to coworker* “…and a little piece of my soul just died just from having to say that.”

Hashtag Fail

| Huntington Beach, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am working the till at a popular clothing store when a teenager comes to me to check out with her debit card.)

Me: “Please hit the pound key before you start typing your code.”

Girl: “Pound key? Where is that?”

Me: “It’s the number symbol.”

Girl: “HA! You mean the hashtag? I can’t believe you just called the hashtag a pound key!”

Me: *silence*

Girl: *finishes paying and goes to leave* “How old are you? Did they call it that in the 70s or something? I will NEVER get over that!”