Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Not A Game To Some People

| MI, USA | Bizarre, Technology

(I work at a video game store. Lots of random people wander in, especially people from the nail salon across the hall. One day an old lady walks in.)

Me: “Could I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Yes, do you have any used Josh Groban CDs?”

Me: “Unfortunately not. You’d want to check the used CD/DVD store up the road for something like that.”

Customer: *astonished by this revelation* “Then what the h*** is all this s***?!”

Me: “Umm, video games. This is a game store.”

Customer: “Video games? What the h*** has the world come to?!”

(She gave a look of disapproval, and left angry.)

His Behavior Is Not Up To Scratch

| MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I’m ringing up a customer who is purchasing a replacement copy for a game that stopped working.)

Customer: “Yeah, this game just stopped working. It looks fine, though.”

Me: “We can get you another, but let me see if we can trade the defective copy towards the new copy.”

(I look the disc over, which has been scratched beyond belief, the is even marks around the center of the disc as if someone were trying to carve circles around it with a razor, but didn’t have a steady hand.)

Me: “It looks like someone intentionally scratched it to a point where it is not repairable.”

Customer: “That’s fine, we bought it at another store a week ago.”

Me: “We won’t be able to exchange it, if something like that happens to this copy.”

(I grab our last copy of the game for him, which he inspects.)

Customer: “Why would you even try to sell this. This looks like garbage.”

Me: “Sir, there’s just a fingerprint on it. It’s in far better condition than the one you had.”

Customer: “Well, you’d best find another one, because I won’t buy this.”

(After cleaning the fingerprint off and replacing the disc back in this case he purchased it and left. He returned a week later with a copy in the same condition as the one he was originally replacing. Turns out his kid was carving into the discs with a knife, and he had brought the kid in to make him pay $50 for the last copy, and pay his father back by trading his other games. Sweet justice.)

The Non-Voice Of Reason

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. Please tell me your policy number?”

Headset: “BEEP-BEEP-BOOP-BEEP-BOOP” *as the policyholder punches in the policy number*

Me: “Please use your voice to tell me your policy number.”

The Only Way To Stop The Call Going Down Under

| IA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Technology

(I work at a well-known electronics store in the computer department.  I am at the customer service desk finishing up with another customer when the phone rings. Seeing that the customer service reps are all busy I take the call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I would like to speak to someone in computers.”

Me: “I can actually help you. What questions do you have?”

Caller: “Oh… I thought I called the customer service desk.”

Me: “You did. I just happened to be up here and answered the phone.”

Caller: “Well, I would really like to talk to someone in computers.”

Me: “I do work in the computer department. I was just up here…”

Caller: “Could you please transfer me to computers so I can talk to a computer salesman?”

Me: “Okay… please hold.”

(My manager is standing close by and asked what is going on. I explain the call to him and tell him I am going to go to the computer department to take the call. My manager decides to follow me since he knows my sense of humor and is sure this is only going to get better. Once in the computer department I pick up the call.)

Me: “[Store] computers. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Aren’t you the guy I just asked to transfer me to computers?”

Me: “Yes. I am in the computer department. How can I help you?”


Me: “Sir, I do work in computers and I am fact in the computer department. How can I help you?”


Me: “Okay, sir, please hold.”

(I hang up the phone and get the grin on my face that my coworkers as well as my manager know means I’m thinking up something good. After a few seconds I pick the phone back up.)

Me: *in an obviously fake Australian accent* “G’Day, sir! How can help you?”

(My manager and coworkers are covering their mouths to hide their laughter.)

Caller: “Finally. I have a question about the computer in your ad.”

(I answered all the customers questions still with an Australian accent, and tried hard not to laugh myself. The customer thanked me and stated that he will be in later to pick up the computer. My manager told me the next day that the caller came in after my shift and asked to speak to the nice Australian man that helped on the phone. It was all he could do to keep a straight face.)

Needs More Self-Help Than Self-Checkout

| Tucson, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Technology

(I’m a customer at the grocery store using the self-check out. Another customer and his wife approach the self-check out when the husband suddenly stops and turns to his wife.)

Customer: “I’m not using self-check out! Those machines are smarter than I am!”

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