Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Hope He Gets One With The Exploding Battery

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Technology, Wild & Unruly

Coworker #1: “Hello, can I help you with anything today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I want to know about the new Samsung phone. How much is it?”

Coworker #1: “Well, right now it’s—”

Customer: *interrupting* “How much is it for a used one?”

Coworker #1: “I’m not actually sure.”

(The customer turns to my other coworker.)

Customer: “How much would a used Samsung phone be?”

Coworker #2: “Sorry, sir, we don’t actually sell used phones here.”

Customer: “I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO SELL ME ONE. I ASKED YOU HOW MUCH THEY ARE!”

(He then turns to me.)

Customer: “Obviously these two are useless. how much is that phone if I buy it used?”

Me: “We don’t have pricing for items we don’t sell, and I couldn’t honestly give you an accurate estimate either.”

Customer: “You’re all f****** useless! Can’t even answer a simple f****** question!”

That Thinking Has Put Them Out Of Wet Pocket

| Amsterdam, The Netherlands | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work at the repair desk of a big electronics store. A customer brings in a phone which isn’t working. I go to the back to open it up and check the inside. It clearly has liquid damage. I return to tell the customer about it.)

Customer: “Liquid damage? How’d that happen?”

Me: “I’m afraid I don’t know. Did you use it in the rain? Did you accidentally drop it in some water?”

Customer: “Well, we were riding our bikes the other day when it was raining a lot. We got soaking wet, and I had the phone in my pocket… No, that couldn’t be it.”

Trust Your Fellow Scam

| NJ, USA | Liars & Scammers, Technology

Customer: “Hey, I need to return this laptop. It’s broken.”

(He lays down a fairly new model of MacBook, still in its box, that costs in the region of around $1,300. The receipt he hands me seems to match and it’s within our 30 day return window… HOWEVER, I notice when he sets the laptop box down it makes a strange metallic rattling noise.)

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir. Can you give me a brief description of what’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “I just said, it’s broken.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll just need to have a look at it.”

Customer: “Huh?! No, you don’t! Just give me my refund!”

(I move to pick up the box, and while doing so I again hear that strange metallic rattling noise. Keep in mind that most MacBooks these days are made with all the guts welded to the case (hence how they’re able to make them so thin), so there’s very little in them that could rattle.)

Me: “I’m afraid, sir, it’s policy that I type up a damage report before I give you a refund. We need to send this back with some idea of what’s wrong with it so it can hopefully get repaired.”

Customer: “Can I get a manager? I’m in a hurry and just need my refund!”

Me: “I can certainly get you my manager but he’ll say the same thing. If you don’t know what’s wrong with it, I need to have an actual look at the computer before I get you your refund.”

Customer: “Gah, no wonder everyone hates shopping here! Whatever happened to trusting in your fellow man, huh?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I have to abide by our return process. Just let me take a look at the computer and I’ll get you your refund.”

Customer: “F*** you!”

(He turned and bolted out of the store entrance, right past our very confused security guard. Surprise, surprise, when I took the computer out, it was actually the casing for an old Windows laptop that was the same size as the MacBook that should’ve been in there. What’s more, it had been gutted save for a few discarded screws which explained the rattling. ‘Trust in your fellow man’ indeed.)

You’ll Want To Note This Caller

| NC, USA | Bizarre, Technology

Customer: “I got an angry call from someone saying I left a note with my number on their car after I hit it, but I didn’t do that.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that happened, but this wouldn’t be a technical problem with your service if someone left a note with your number somewhere.”

Customer: “But I didn’t do it.”

Me: “If we’re talking about a physical note that was left, this isn’t a matter of bad caller ID or anything like that. Someone either lied on a note they left or the caller misread the number.”

Customer: “But isn’t that weird?”

Me: “It is weird, but your phone is fine in this instance.”

Not App-y With Your Answer

| USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(I work for a call center that contracts out to a phone company.)

Me: “Thank you for calling the [Company] support. My name is [My Name]. How can I assist you?”

Customer: “My app isn’t working right.”

Me: “How is it not working right?”

Customer: “It’s not transmitting data to my watch.”

Me: “All right, there’s some troubleshooting steps we can do.”

(I lead the customer through the steps, but it still isn’t connecting properly.)

Me: “At this point, the app is launching properly. Contacting the developer of the app is the next step.”

Customer: “You mean, like, on their web page?”

Me: “Yes. If the app is installed and launching like it should, but still not working, that would be the next step.”

Customer: “I already did that.”

Me: “You contacted them?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s a known problem. I just wanted you to have a different answer.”

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