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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

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Unable To Tap And Go With The Flow

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Technology

(Tap-and-go debit/credit cards are just being introduced. We have just got our new credit card reader with the tap feature a few days beforehand. My boss instructs me that if a customer hands us their card and it has the tap-and-go logo, I should tap it myself. I don’t necessarily think this is a good idea, but I do as I’m told. A customer has just ordered their coffee when this happens.)

Me: “That will be $1.70.”

Customer: “On debit.” *hands me his card*

(I see the the tap-and-go logo on his card and press the card to the machine for a few seconds. It pays and I hand the card back to the customer.)

Customer: “Wait, don’t I need to pay?”

Me: “Nope, you just did. I just tapped your card.”

Customer: “Why did you do that?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Why did you tap my card for me?”

Me: “Because that’s what my boss told me to do when customers hand their cards to me.”

Customer: “But why did you tap my card for me!?”

Me: “Because my boss said to.”

Customer: “Do you know how RUDE that is to just take someone else’s card and pay!?”

Me: *seeing this is going to be difficult* “Sir, if you have a problem with the lack of security with the tap cards, I suggest you go to your bank and ask them to remove that feature from your card. I’ve already done that myself.”

Customer: “But do you know how RUDE that is?!”

Me: *sighs* “I don’t know what to tell you, sir; I’m just doing what I was told. Would you like to talk to my boss about it?”

Customer: “Yes, I would!”

Me: “Here’s the store number and the hours he’s usually here at.”

Customer: *just as he’s about to leave* “Seriously, you shouldn’t just tap someone else’s card. It’s so RUDE!”

(He did call my boss and complain about how “RUDE” I was, but my boss didn’t budge. My boss told me to just keep tapping people’s cards, but I just let customers tap their cards themselves just to try and avoid that guy again.)

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A Bad Sign About This One

, | Sacramento, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer approaches my print center counter.)

Customer: “Hi! I’d like to order a sign for my business’s door, but I want it to be in full color.”

Me: “Sure! What size did you need the sign to be?”

Customer: “It’s a sign for my door. But in full color.”

Me: “Yes, that’s no problem. I just need to know what size you’d like to order.”

Customer: “IT’S A SIGN FOR MY DOOR. BUT I WANT IT TO BE IN FULL COLOR!”

Me: “Ma’am, I need a measurement. I have to tell the sign company what size you want them to make your sign.”

Customer: *holds up her smartphone* “If I show you a picture of my old sign, will that help? It’s on my door. But I want the new one to be in full color.”

(She eventually had to call her husband over, and HE informed us that the sign they wanted was 2”x10” in size.)

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A Scrambled Sense Of The Law

| ME, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Technology

(Working for the local cable office we often get questions about services that are connected to TV, but not necessarily a service we provide.)

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you guys rent cable descramblers?”

Me: “Oh, do you mean antennas to get over-the-air channels?”

Customer: “No, cable descramblers for the people that want TV stations but don’t want to pay for them.”

Me: “No, ma’am. That’s not how business works. I can either set you up for TV or you can get an antenna.”

Customer: “Well, why can’t I get a descrambler?”

Me: “Because they are illegal, ma’am.”

(The customer went wide eyed and immediately changed the subject.)

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Abusing Our Good Name

| WI, USA | Funny Names, Technology

(Our tech support team works through phone, email, and chat. It is common for customers to contact us through one channel and follow up on another. I get a customer on the phone.)

Customer: “I already worked with someone in chat about this issue, but it’s still not working.”

Me: “All right, let me get the chat log called up so I see what you’ve done so far. Okay, so it looks like you told [Coworker] that the problem was [problem], and she recommended you try [basic troubleshooting]. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Yeah… wait, [Coworker]?”

Me: “Yes, you were chatting with [Coworker].”

Customer: “Really? [Coworker]?”

Me: “I have the chat log right here…”

Customer: “But I didn’t realize you actually had names!”

Me: “…um.”

Customer: “Oh! Sorry! That came out wrong. I meant I didn’t realize you used your real names in chat.”

Me: “Whew! Yeah, her name is actually [Coworker] and she’s pretty good with this stuff. Since those first steps didn’t work, though, let’s try these steps instead…”

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Groomed To Be An A**-Hole

Switzerland | Bad Behavior, Technology

(I work at a well known chain store specialized in selling video games. We are situated next to a parking lot, so we often get people that just want to get some change for the parking metre. A customer comes in, already with that guilty look on his face.)

Me: “Hey there! Are you here to get some change?”

Customer: “Well, yeah, how did you know?”

Me: “I guessed from the look on your fa—”

Customer: “Yeah, I guess I’m too well-groomed to be in here.”

(I just gave him his change so he would leave.)

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