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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

There Is No App For Stupidity

| FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am showing a gentleman where our screen protectors are for iPads.)

Me: “Here is where we have all our screen protectors. Now to make sure we get the right one do you know which iPad you have?”

Customer: “Apple.”

Me: “That is the manufacturer, but do you know which model it is? The iPad I,II?, the mini?”

Customer: “Um, Apple?”

On A Bandwidth RAM-page

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I sell a customer a new connection because they want it ‘to go faster.’)

Customer: “We’ve had this connection for a few weeks and there’s no difference in speed. You promised me it would be faster.”

Me: “That’s strange. It should be much faster. Let me have a look at the graphs.”

(Looking through the graphs I can see they are using way more bandwidth than ever before.)

Me: “So, looking at these graphs it appears you’re using far more bandwidth than your previous connection. It actually looks like you might be maxing out the connection.”

Customer: “No, it’s not that. When I click on [Browser] it still loads up very slowly.”

Me: “Sorry, just to confirm: [Browser] is slow, or do you mean the first webpage you go to?”

Customer: “[Browser] is slow.”

Me:“…Umm, that’s your computer, not us…”

(Men)swear It’s Not The Store

| UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

(Unfortunately I am the customer in this one. I call a well known electrical store, but dial the wrong number.)

Rep: “Good afternoon, [Menswear Store]. How can I help?”

Me: “Is that [Electrical Store]?”

Rep: “No. This is [Menswear Store].”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Rep: “Please hold.”

(After a pause…)

Rep: “Hello, sir. I’ve checked the sign outside. We are definitely [Menswear Store].”

Me: “Dumb question, huh?”

Rep: “Mm-hmm.”

Me: “Dumbest question today?”

Rep: “Not even close.”

Me: “Do you know much about digital TVs?”

Rep: “No, but I have looked up the number for [Electrical Store] on my PC. It’s [telephone number].”

(Now that’s what I call service!)