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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

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Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 13

, | Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m a manager for a national clothing retailer outside of Boston and our store is running a promotion where customers can get coupons via text message.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, how do I get a coupon?”

Me: “You send a text message to this number **** and we will send you the coupon back.”

Customer: “So, do I need a cell phone in order to receive text message coupons from you?”

(Skipping a beat to see if she is serious.)

Me: “Yes. Yes, you do need a cell phone to receive text messages.”

Customer: *looking confused* “Oh.” *she walks away*

Related:
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 12
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 11
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 10

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I Can Hear You Dumb And Clear

| Du Quoin, IL, USA | Bizarre, Technology

(I have just started working at my local pharmacy. It’s my first time answering the phone and I’m really nervous.)

Me: “Pharmacy, this is [My Name]. Can I help you?”

Caller: “HELLO?? HELLLOOOO?”

Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Caller: “HELLOOOOOOOOO.”

Me: “Hello… ma’am?”

Caller: “CAAAAAN YOUUU HEEEAR MEEEE?”

Me: *holding phone away from my ear at this point* “Loud and clear, ma’am.”

Caller: “Oh, good. I just wanted to make sure my phone was working.” *click*

Me: *stares at phone*

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Microsoft Word To The Wise

| UK | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work for an IT company that provides support for a large restaurant chain and their franchises. I receive a call from one franchise that recently had their office PC replaced. These franchises have to provide their own software and licences for installation that we help with as part of the service.)

Me: “Welcome to the [Company] support desk. You are speaking to [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “This is [Customer] from [Franchise]. I just went to [Computer Retailer] and bought Microsoft Office but it won’t install.”

Me: “No worries. I will remote in and see what is happening with the install.”

(I remote in and find the software installed fine but the license code will not activate the software.)

Me: “Can you confirm the license key is the same as it is on the software package?”

Customer: “Yes. I bought it from [Computer Retailer] but it’s not working. I tried each of the license codes but it’s still not working.”

Me: “Wait, you said there are several license codes? Can you send me a scanned image of the package so I can find what might be the problem?”

(I provided the user with an e-mail address to send the scanned image to and after half an hour the pictures came in. The customer had bought a CD sleeve with a blank disc with “Office” written on it and a piece of paper showing the front and back cover. The paper showed he bought “Micrasift Oofice 2012 Profecinal eddition”, which included a list of authentic-looking license keys.)