icon_technology

Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

icon_crazyrequests

Carded And Drafted

| Fort Wayne, IN, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I have just had a man get very angry with me because I wouldn’t let his kid or grandkid get on the computers.)

Guy: “This kid has his library card number memorized. Why can’t he get on the computers?”

Me: “He has to have his actual library card with him in order to get on the computers.”

Guy: “He can’t just tell you his card number and get on one?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. He has to have his actual card with him.”

Guy: *glares and moves closer to me* “Why?”

Me: “It’s one of our library branch’s rules.”

Guy: “You have got to be kidding me.”

Me: “I’m 100% serious. I have to have a physical card in order to scan it into the computer to make a reservation.”

Guy: *leans over the table and puts his finger in my face* “Well, whoever made up that rule should’ve been drafted in Vietnam like I was!”

(He then walked away muttering about how that was “bullshit” and leaving me absolutely speechless, mouth hanging open.)

icon_money

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 52

, | Ede, The Netherlands | Extra Stupid, Money, Popular, Technology

(I work for a large Dutch Internet provider, at which I am working as a billing expert for the tougher customers with the more difficult questions.)

Me: “Hello, [Internet Provider]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I did not receive any bills by mail. You apparently just stopped sending me the bills. Now I have a huge debt, and because of your mistake I cannot use the Internet any more.”

Me: “Well, Mrs. [Customer], we stopped sending you bills by mail three years ago. Every once in a while you make a payment. But your funds stopped being enough to cover the costs several months ago.”

Customer: “Yeah… because you stopped sending me bills a few months ago. That’s your mistake. Now I am paying for a service that I cannot use anymore.”

Me: “Several years ago we stopped sending customers’ billing by mail as the default option. You can now login on our members’ site to read and even download you bill for free. We sent all customers e-mail and mail to tell them we were planning this move. If you still want to receive a bill every month with specifics, we require a payment of €1,00 on top of your normal fee.”

Customer: “Still, you stopped sending them a few months ago. So, it is your fault at [Internet Provider] that I cannot use Internet at this moment.”

Me: “Billing by mail as default is no longer an option. Clients that require billing by mail—”

Customer: “You are lying, you b*stard! You’re not taking me seriously.”

Me: “I’m so sorry you think that of me; I assure you we have all customers in high regard. Yet we stopped sending bills by mail a few years ago. You currently have a debt of six months worth of bills. By law every consumer is required to keep in check their payments themselves. We can only send you reminders to suggest that you pay us, of which we sent you at least four letters in the past six months. Clearly you were very lucky. Normally, when customers do not pay for two months or longer, they get shut off. You managed to keep your services for quite a bit longer.”

Customer: “I immediately require to have my Internet back. Now, please.”

Me: “We can give back your services to you today, but in return we require one of the two following options: 1) you can pay us the difference (upwards of €400,00) in one transaction today, or 2) you agree to a payment plan to catch up the difference.”

Customer: “Sure… I am not paying you to be shut off; I am paying you so I can use my Internet.”

(Getting a bit tired of this whole back and forth process, my tone becomes a little more harsh, yet still professional.)

Me: “Mrs. [Customer], firstly, it is our service we are providing; Internet is of and for everyone. Secondly, you did not pay for at least six months, so to be fair, you are not paying us for anything, and if one does not pay we do not serve. I am sorry.”

Customer: “And whose mistake was that? That I did not pay?”

Me: “Not ours, ma’am. You yourself managed to pay us for the last couple of years without your bills by mail, so the only reason for not paying the last 6 months is with your finances.”

Customer: “It is not my responsibility to pay. It is yours!”

Me: *sighs* “Ma’am, I can only help you any further if you mean to pay us. The responsibility of payment is entirely yours. I can offer you a plan or a way for immediate payment.”

Customer: “I demand to speak to a manager right now! It is not correct of you to shut me off, especially if the fault is entirely yours that I did not pay.”

(As I am the manager, I could not go any higher up the chain, so I ended the conversation as politely as possible, with the advise to call back when the woman was able to pay.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 51
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 50
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 49

icon_checkout

Unable To Tap And Go With The Flow

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Technology

(Tap-and-go debit/credit cards are just being introduced. We have just got our new credit card reader with the tap feature a few days beforehand. My boss instructs me that if a customer hands us their card and it has the tap-and-go logo, I should tap it myself. I don’t necessarily think this is a good idea, but I do as I’m told. A customer has just ordered their coffee when this happens.)

Me: “That will be $1.70.”

Customer: “On debit.” *hands me his card*

(I see the the tap-and-go logo on his card and press the card to the machine for a few seconds. It pays and I hand the card back to the customer.)

Customer: “Wait, don’t I need to pay?”

Me: “Nope, you just did. I just tapped your card.”

Customer: “Why did you do that?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Why did you tap my card for me?”

Me: “Because that’s what my boss told me to do when customers hand their cards to me.”

Customer: “But why did you tap my card for me!?”

Me: “Because my boss said to.”

Customer: “Do you know how RUDE that is to just take someone else’s card and pay!?”

Me: *seeing this is going to be difficult* “Sir, if you have a problem with the lack of security with the tap cards, I suggest you go to your bank and ask them to remove that feature from your card. I’ve already done that myself.”

Customer: “But do you know how RUDE that is?!”

Me: *sighs* “I don’t know what to tell you, sir; I’m just doing what I was told. Would you like to talk to my boss about it?”

Customer: “Yes, I would!”

Me: “Here’s the store number and the hours he’s usually here at.”

Customer: *just as he’s about to leave* “Seriously, you shouldn’t just tap someone else’s card. It’s so RUDE!”

(He did call my boss and complain about how “RUDE” I was, but my boss didn’t budge. My boss told me to just keep tapping people’s cards, but I just let customers tap their cards themselves just to try and avoid that guy again.)