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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

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Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 30

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in tech support for an Internet company, taking calls for installers that are having issues with the install. The following is a call I receive.)

Me: “What kind of issue are you having?”

Caller: “I am not able to get on the Internet.”

Me: “Okay, let me take a look.”

(I pause a moment to confirm the modem is provisioning.)

Me: “The modem is provisioned correctly. Have you checked your IP address?”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Do you know how to check for the IP?”

Caller: “Negative.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. What operating system are you using?”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Vista, 7, XP?”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Okay, what does your start button look like? Round with the Windows logo in the center?”

Caller: “You mean the circle with the rainbow looking thing in the center?”

Related:

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 29

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 28

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 27

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An Alarming Lack Of Alarming

| USA | Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Technology

(I work at an alarm management company monitoring home alarms. Normally when an intrusion or motion sensor alarm triggers, we call the house first in case it is the owner. They generally give us their passcode and we cancel the alarm. In this scenario, a motion sensor alarm comes up and I call the home.)

Me: “This is [My Name] with [Security Company]. Am I speaking with [Owner]?”

Phone: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, Mr. [Owner], if you can just verify the passcode for your account, I’ll be glad to disable the alarm for you.”

Phone: “I don’t have an alarm.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Phone: “I don’t have an alarm system. Whatever you’re seeing is wrong. Cancel the alarm; it’s not at my house.”

(I obviously think that this is bizarre so I call the secondary number, the owner’s work phone.)

Me: “This is [Name] with [Security Company]. Am I speaking with [Owner]?”

Owner: “Yes, that’s me.”

Me: “We didn’t just speak on your home line, did we?”

Owner: “No? Is something wrong?”

Me: “I thought not. Can I get your passcode for [Security Company]?”

Owner: “[Code].”

Me: “Somebody answered your home phone and claimed you did not have an alarm system. I have already dispatched the police to your home.”

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A Disconnection Between Her Phone And The Truth

| USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Technology

(It’s late at night and I’m about leave work. I get a last minute call.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “My phone is broken and I DEMAND a new one.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. What distributor is your phone from?”

Caller: “Your company.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, let me rephrase. Who made your phone? Is it an Apple pro—“

Caller: “No, my phone isn’t a god-d*** Apple! Now, I demand a new phone!”

Me: *keeps playing her game* “I’m sorry, ma’am. Is your phone an Android?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. What’s your name?”

Caller: “[Name].”

Me: “Thank you, please hold.”

(I put her on hold and pull up her records. You can see what phone the customer is calling from when you pull up the records, as well as other important details.)

Me: “Ma’am, [Company]’s records say you’re calling from the ‘broken phone.’ Records also say you’re three months overdue for your bill. Please pay with the next two months or else we’ll have to disconnect you.”

Caller: *click*