Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Taking The Long Route(r)

| Israel | Bigotry, Bizarre, Technology

(I work at the IT office in the city I live in. I’m female. I get a call from a city-funded kindergarten:)

Me: “IT office.”

Kindergarten Teacher: “Hi, we have a problem with the computer here. The Internet isn’t working.”

Me: “I see. Let’s see if there’s a way we can get this fixed over the phone, so you don’t have to wait for me to get to you.”

Kindergarten Teacher: “Look, is there no way you can just send someone over?”

Me: “I’m the person who usually goes out into the field. The reason I’m taking calls right now is that it’s still early in the morning, and no one else has arrived yet. These problems are very often easy to fix, and it would be a shame for you to wait until I got to you, only for me to restart your router, which you could easily do yourself and have Internet within minutes.”

Kindergarten Teacher: “But you don’t understand. We’re all women here, so we don’t know anything about computers. Just send one of the guys out. They’ll be able to fix it.”

(Having no words, I ended the call. The kicker is that I didn’t end up getting to that Kindergarten until hours later. Needless to say that all I did was restart the router, and they had Internet minutes later.)

A Pre-Holiday Basket Case

| USA | Holidays, Technology

(I work for a call center handling issues typical AFTER something has already gone wrong. I take a call on the Thursday before Easter Sunday.)

Me: “Thanks calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need help finding an Easter basket for my nieces. I am not sure what to get them. I have never bought one before.”

Me: “Well, I can try and help with that? Do you know what your nieces like?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Well, do you know their favorite color?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you know what kind of candy they like?”

Customer: “No. Look I just need help picking out a basket.”

Me: “I’ll be honest. We are a major online seller. Since it’s so close to Easter, sir, there are hundred of baskets for sale on the website.”

Customer: *long pause* “Well… I know they like girly stuff… How about something with crafts?”

Me: “Sir, I looked and there are still several baskets with that type of stuff. Do you have anything else to help narrow down the search?”

Customer: “Just pick some out for me and I will look.”

(I spend the next 45 minutes adding over 20 different baskets to his cart/basket online and he says no to all.)

Customer: “We are getting nowhere with this. Every basket I want won’t make it in time. Why?”

Me: “Sir, the ones you picked out are sold by third party sellers. It looks like the each one is made to order when you order it.”

Customer: “Why don’t you make them ship faster? You should make them ship faster.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t make them ship faster. It’s their choice if they want to ship that fast.”

Customer: “You are no help. Screw it. I am going to Wal-Mart!” *click*

Maybe He Was Checking His Eyelids For Holes?

| Silver Spring, MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(I am a librarian with a city library. I usually work behind the information desk, but every so often, if no one asks me any questions, I walk around the library and see who needs help. One of the things I am supposed to do is remind people of the rules, such as no sleeping. I see a man sitting in an armchair with his eyes closed, and assume he is asleep.)

Me: “Sorry to disturb you, sir, but I’m afraid we don’t allow sleeping in the library.”

Customer: *with a really nasty grin* “Come here.”

Me: *taking two steps closer* “Yes?”

Customer: *pulls out black phone* “You see this?”

Me: “Sir, that’s really not the issue—”

Customer: “I was trying to adjust the screen. Not everyone’s eyes work as well as yours. So do yourself a favor and don’t go around assuming everyone with their eyes closed is sleeping!”

Me: *this flies in the face of every bit of training I’ve gotten, not to mention, I didn’t see him with his phone out when I saw him* “Sir, there is no need to take that tone with me. Also, your eyes were closed and your phone wasn’t there; exactly what am I supposed to assume?”

Customer: “Get out of here, boy, and mind your own business!”

(Since it is possible I may not have seen the phone, I decide it’s enough. His eyes are open.)

Me: “Okay, then. You have a nice day.” *I turn and walk away*

Customer: *mutters* “Mother-f***er!”

Me: “And the same to you, sir.”

Hope He Gets One With The Exploding Battery

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Technology, Wild & Unruly

Coworker #1: “Hello, can I help you with anything today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I want to know about the new Samsung phone. How much is it?”

Coworker #1: “Well, right now it’s—”

Customer: *interrupting* “How much is it for a used one?”

Coworker #1: “I’m not actually sure.”

(The customer turns to my other coworker.)

Customer: “How much would a used Samsung phone be?”

Coworker #2: “Sorry, sir, we don’t actually sell used phones here.”

Customer: “I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO SELL ME ONE. I ASKED YOU HOW MUCH THEY ARE!”

(He then turns to me.)

Customer: “Obviously these two are useless. how much is that phone if I buy it used?”

Me: “We don’t have pricing for items we don’t sell, and I couldn’t honestly give you an accurate estimate either.”

Customer: “You’re all f****** useless! Can’t even answer a simple f****** question!”

That Thinking Has Put Them Out Of Wet Pocket

| Amsterdam, The Netherlands | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work at the repair desk of a big electronics store. A customer brings in a phone which isn’t working. I go to the back to open it up and check the inside. It clearly has liquid damage. I return to tell the customer about it.)

Customer: “Liquid damage? How’d that happen?”

Me: “I’m afraid I don’t know. Did you use it in the rain? Did you accidentally drop it in some water?”

Customer: “Well, we were riding our bikes the other day when it was raining a lot. We got soaking wet, and I had the phone in my pocket… No, that couldn’t be it.”

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