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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Should Get Yourself Checked Out

| UK | At The Checkout, Technology

(I am the customer in this story. I am notoriously unlucky at using self-service checkouts; they invariably tell me to ‘place the item in the bag’ or ‘remove the last item from the bag’ or can’t recognise the barcodes. For this reason I usually try to use a manned register. On this occasion I’m only buying a few items and decide to give it a try. There is a cashier near the self-service in case of problems.)

Me: “Just to warn you, these checkouts don’t like me. You’ll probably need to help.”

Cashier: “No problem. I’ll wait right here.”

(I start scanning.)

Me: “I can’t believe this is working. It’s usually gone wrong by now.”

Cashier: “Well, keep going. You’re doing something right!”

(I scan my last item.)

Me: “Wow, that is the first time I’ve got through the whole thing without a problem! That’s a record!”

Cashier: “Well, congratulations!”

(I pay the machine and collect my change.)

Me: “I still can’t believe it didn’t go wrong.”

Cashier: “I hope you have a good day!”

Me: “Thanks! Goodbye.”

(I start to leave the store.)

Cashier: “Uh, excuse me?”

Me: “Yes?”

Cashier: *pointing at the checkout I’d just left* “…Did you want to take your shopping with you?”

You’ll Pay For That Confusion

| USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(I’m cashiering one night when a lady comes through the line with some small items, and the transaction proceeds smoothly. She already has her wallet out and is looking through her cards when I ring up the last item.)

Me: “All right, your total is [price].”

Customer: *panicked* “Wait, I have to pay?!”

Me: “Um… yes. If you’d like to use a card, you can go ahead and slide it in the pinpad…”

(She paid after that without any problem, and I was left confused for the rest of the night.)

Wi-Fly Away

, | Roermond, The Netherlands | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work as technical support for an Internet service provider in Belgium. Most of the calls are about wifi not working properly. It is known with us that the wireless range of our modems isn’t exactly great.)

Me: “Good morning, this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m [Customer] and I’m having problems with my wifi connection.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that you have problems with your wifi connection. Do you see your network in the list of network connections on your computer?”

Customer: “Yes, I do see it, but it says I cannot connect because it’s not within range.”

Me: *fearing the worst, that she’s two floors away and the connection is too weak* “Okay… How far are your physically away from the modem?”

Customer: *long pause* “…I think I’m about 150km away.”

Me: “… uh… Miss, you do know the wifi technology is limited to about 10-15m max?”

Customer: “Oh…” *long pause* *click*