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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

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Swipeout

| Bristol, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(We’ve just had some new staff start, and I’m working in one of the aisles when one of them calls me over. In the UK, chip and pin has been used for many years now. Most people under a certain age have never had to use the swipe method.)

Coworker: “[My Name], what do I do when it says ‘swipe card’?”

Me: *coming over* “You use the magnetic strip on the card and swipe it on the side.”

(At this point I’m behind the till with her, and I take the customer’s card out of the machine to show her. The customer, an older woman, chimes in.)

Customer: “I don’t understand what’s wrong; I’ve always used this card this way.”

(It’s now I notice the card I’m holding is the wrong way round in the machine, which would made the machine think it didn’t have a chip and ask for a reinsert before giving up and asking for a swipe.)

Me: “This way?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “This is the wrong way round. This bit—” *points at the chip* “—needs to go in the machine.”

Customer: “No it isn’t! That bit—“ *points at the silver hologram logo on the card* “—goes in!”

(I don’t say anything. I cancel the card transaction and start it again so it lets the card be inserted. I put it in the correct way, the customer insisting it’s the wrong way. Surprise… it works. Once the customer has left, I turn to my coworker.)

Me: “Some people put their cards in the wrong way. Most of them realise. Some don’t.”

(I then explain to her how to tell from our side if the card is in the wrong way, and then what to do when there is a “swipe card”. We both agree that the customer was either too proud to admit she was wrong, or didn’t trust us because we are both quite young.)

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Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 15

| WY, USA | Technology

(I’m a manager at a large wireless cell phone provider. One of my employees is at the door.)

Employee: “Welcome to [Store]. How I can help you?”

Guest: “Yes, do you guys have a phone book?”

Employee: “No, but I can look up a number for you as long as it is not listed in the white pages.”

Guest: “I need the number for [Local Pizza Place].”

Employee: *pulls out his smart phone and searches number* “The number is [number]. Would you like me to write that down for you?”

Guest: “No, I’ll just save it in my phone.” *pulls out her smart phone and enters the number* “Thank you so much! Do you just have all those numbers saved in your phone?”

Employee: “Uh… no, I looked it up on Google.”

Guest: “You mean to tell me I could have looked it up on my phone? I drove all the way to the mall for no reason?” *starts yelling* “WHY DIDN’T THEY TELL ME I COULD USE MY PHONE LIKE THAT?!”

Employee: “I’m sorry, miss. I can show you how…”

Guest: “Oh, never mind! I have to get home to order pizza for delivery!” *storms out of store*

Me: “Well, that was interesting.”

Employee: “Good thing we keep all those numbers saved in our phones!”

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Adobe Photo-Flop

, | Birmingham, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Popular, Technology

(A user calls up as they do not know how to use Photoshop, despite being offered training originally.)

User: “This program is stupid. Why do I need all these buttons and functions?”

Me: “The program is a piece of professional software that is very high end, used for magazines and movie posters.”

User: “I just want to resize my dolphin photos!”

Me: “Well, first, you will need to open the photo concerned, then go to—“

User: “I haven’t got time for that! I just want these dolphin photos resized!”

Me: “You were offered training on this software when it was purchased.”

User: “I don’t have time to sit around doing training! I just want the software to do what I want it to do without clicking all of these buttons!”

Me: “I can talk you through the steps. Do you need to get a pen to write this down?”

User: “No. I am not messing around with this software any more! I have work to do! You ring Adobe and tell them I want this changed NOW.”

Me: “You want me to call Adobe and tell them to change their multi million dollar software because you don’t like it?”

User: “Yes! Let me know when they’ve done it!”

(The user hung up and I was left speechless. The user also chased it up to see if I had contacted them and if they had carried out the changes.)