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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

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Adobe Photo-Flop

, | Birmingham, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Popular, Technology

(A user calls up as they do not know how to use Photoshop, despite being offered training originally.)

User: “This program is stupid. Why do I need all these buttons and functions?”

Me: “The program is a piece of professional software that is very high end, used for magazines and movie posters.”

User: “I just want to resize my dolphin photos!”

Me: “Well, first, you will need to open the photo concerned, then go to—“

User: “I haven’t got time for that! I just want these dolphin photos resized!”

Me: “You were offered training on this software when it was purchased.”

User: “I don’t have time to sit around doing training! I just want the software to do what I want it to do without clicking all of these buttons!”

Me: “I can talk you through the steps. Do you need to get a pen to write this down?”

User: “No. I am not messing around with this software any more! I have work to do! You ring Adobe and tell them I want this changed NOW.”

Me: “You want me to call Adobe and tell them to change their multi million dollar software because you don’t like it?”

User: “Yes! Let me know when they’ve done it!”

(The user hung up and I was left speechless. The user also chased it up to see if I had contacted them and if they had carried out the changes.)

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Getting Very Emojional About It

| CT, USA | Bigotry, Popular, Technology

(I’m a employee at an Apple store. I overhear a coworker and a black customer in his 20s speaking.)

Customer: “You are all racists. Y’all have no respect.”

Coworker: “I’m very sorry you’ve had a negative experience, sir. What leads you to say that?”

Customer: “I got my phone a week ago and it’s a racist piece of s***.” *looks around and notices that there’s a couple with a kid nearby* “Excuse my language, I don’t mean to make a scene. I’m just a little PO’d.”

Coworker: “May I ask what’s wrong with the phone?”

Customer: “Look! It doesn’t have black people!”

(He gets out his phone and taps to the emoji keyboard.)

Customer: “They got Chinese, Middle Eastern, even Russian! But there ain’t any black emoji people!”

Coworker: “Yeah, I see what you mean… I completely understand why you’d be upset. Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s anything we can do at this time.”

Customer: “Can’t y’all draw one and put it on the phone?”

Coworker: “Um… I don’t think that’s possible. Sorry, sir.”

Customer: “All right, sorry to bug you. Just thought it should come to y’all’s attention.”

(He made a good point!)

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Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 30

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in tech support for an Internet company, taking calls for installers that are having issues with the install. The following is a call I receive.)

Me: “What kind of issue are you having?”

Caller: “I am not able to get on the Internet.”

Me: “Okay, let me take a look.”

(I pause a moment to confirm the modem is provisioning.)

Me: “The modem is provisioned correctly. Have you checked your IP address?”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Do you know how to check for the IP?”

Caller: “Negative.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. What operating system are you using?”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Vista, 7, XP?”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Okay, what does your start button look like? Round with the Windows logo in the center?”

Caller: “You mean the circle with the rainbow looking thing in the center?”

Related:

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 29

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 28

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 27