Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Networking Not Working

| Denver, CO, USA | Technology

(I work in the electronics department of a store. Each of us there has some expertise in what we sell, but we aren’t required to be walking encyclopedias of the entire department. A woman and her husband walk up to me to ask a question.)

Woman: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Yes, how may I help you?”

Woman: “I’d like to buy a wifi router.”

Me: *gestures at aisle* “They’re right down that way, miss.”

(Woman remains where she is, glaring at me.)

Me: “Was there something else?”

Woman: “Aren’t you going to give me any suggestions or help me set it up?”

Me: *smiles sheepishly* “Well, I would, miss, but I don’t really know how to set up a wifi network.”

Woman: *getting irritated* “You’ve never set up a wifi network before?”

Me: “Nope.”

Woman: “And you’re working in electronics?”

Me: “Yup.”

Woman: “How can you not know how to set up a wifi network?”

Me: “Never done it before.”

Woman: *not bothering to conceal her irritation at this point* “So how can you work in the electronics department if you don’t even know how to set up a wifi network?”

Me: *shrugs* “I don’t know, but I also work over in fabrics. Would it surprise you to know that I can’t stitch a quilt?”

(The woman was speechless, and her husband doubled over laughing.)

Suffering From Bad Graphics

| Conway, AR, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

Client: “I need a logo designed for a girl’s camp and would like it to be on fire with a dragon blowing the logo out of his mouth.”

Me: “Okay, well, let’s start with the logo and get it designed, then work on the dragon after a logo has been picked. What colors would you like?”

Client: “I don’t know. I will get back to you on that.”

Me: “Okay. I will start some samples and wait on you to tell me what colors you want before I send you any samples.”

Client: “Okay, thanks.”

(Three hours later:)

Client: “Where are my logos? If you don’t have anything ready I will go in another direction.”

Me: “Did you decide on your colors?”

Client: “No.”

Me: “Well, I can not send you a logo to select from if you have not decided on colors, unless you want them in black and white?”

Client: “No, I want them in purple and orange!”

Me: “Ok, I will add those colors and send you five selections of what you described you wanted.”

Client: “Okay.”

(Ten minutes after sending samples:)

Client: “What is this? I want a true designer not clip art pictures! I’m using someone else!”

Me: “Sorry if I misinterpreted what we discussed. What were you expecting?”

Client: “Not fake font and fake flames! I want the real thing, like a photograph, DUH!”

Me: “Sorry… I am not a photographer. Everything I do is drawn on the computer.”

Client: “YES, I KNOW! So draw a photograph of what I want!”

Me: “Sir, I am not drawing you a photograph I agreed to do a logo for $120, not a photograph. If you want a photograph drawn that will be charged by the hour and will take a few days.”

Client: “You are dismissed! I would like to formally fire you. Let me talk to your boss so they will fire you!”

Me: “I own this company so I am the boss.”

Client: “Then you BETTER give me what you promised for what I paid!”

Me: “Sir, you never paid anything. We don’t accept payment until the job is complete.”

Client: “This is ridiculous! I’m going another direction!”

Stupidity Unplugged

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(The customer is purchasing an electric heating pad for the bottom of his lizard cage.)

Customer: *holding the plug* “Will this work if I don’t plug it in?”

Email Fail, Part 6

| SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: *sending email to client* “I will need some information from you to get your papers started.”

Client: *in a replied email* “Okay, just send me your email address and I’ll get that right to you.”

Email Fail, Part 5
Email Fail, Part 4
Email Fail, Part 3

Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 22

| BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

Caller: “Hey, I can’t connect to my home wifi when I’m not at home.”

Me: “Sir, it won’t, as your wifi has a range limitation.”

Caller: “Well, I was in the mall and I wanted to know what the gas prices are.”

Me: “Sir, do you have a data plan on your cell?”


Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 21

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 20
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 19

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