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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

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The Picture Of Laziness

| TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I’ve been speaking to a customer who lives nearby and has told me he’s going to be home all day. He’s ordering a product he’s never seen.)

Me: “I really suggest coming to take a look at [Product] so you can compare it to what you already have. At the very least you can look at the pictures on our website.”

Customer: *who is at home* “I’m really just too busy to look at your website today. Can’t you just text me pictures of it?”

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Not Even In Line And Out Of Line

| USA | Bad Behavior, Technology, Time

(Our customers who come in are served on a first-come, first-serve basis, since it typically takes anywhere from 15-45 minutes per person depending on what they need. It’s a Sunday, several of our staff are on vacation and several others have called off sick, and there’s already nine people waiting for various services. As I go to call the next customer who has been patiently waiting for close to two hours, a female customer who has just entered walks up to me.)

Customer #1: “I need help.”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, but we’re quite busy. Can I get your name to add to the waiting list? We’ll have someone with you as soon as possible.”

Customer #1: “I just have a quick question, though. Shouldn’t take more than a few seconds.”

Me: “I suppose if it’s just a quick question, I can help. Then after I can take your name down if you’ll need further help.”

Customer #1: “Good, I just need to know if you’re taking trade-ins for [Older Model Cellphone] to get money off of the new updated version.”

Me: “As long as it’s in working condition, we absolutely do.”

Customer #1: *trying to hand me her old cell phone from her purse* “Great. Well, I’ll just give you this, and I’d like [Newer Model Phone]. I want the silver-colored model if possible. I also want a case. I’m not picky about it, but preferably one that’ll last. I also want to switch my data plan. I only have 2 gigs now, but I wanna up it to 4 because I’ve been going over a bit. Also, we need to add my husband to our plan and to get him a phone. He doesn’t want anything fancy, though.”

Me: *refusing to take her phone* “I’ll be able to help you with that. Can I just your name for the waiting list?”

Customer #1: “Oh, I just wanted to do it now.”

Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, we have a number of people who have been waiting to be assisted. I can take your name down though, and assist you shortly.”

Customer #1: *narrowing her eyes* “But I want to do this now.”

Me: “Ma’am, we have a waiting list. I have to help people on a first-come, first-serve basis.”

Customer #1: *starting to fume* “Well, I’m not waiting.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I need to be helping the next person on our waiting list. If you’d like, I can take down your name, but unfortunately I won’t be able to assist you at the moment.”

Customer #1: *screaming* “But I don’t want to wait! If they’ve all been waiting, surely they won’t mind waiting a little longer.”

(Everyone is now looking. Another customer who is standing nearby chimes in.)

Customer #2: “I’ve been waiting over an hour. As a matter of fact I DO mind having to wait longer just because you can’t be bothered to wait like the rest of us!”

Customer #1: “Go to h***!”

(She storms towards the door, turning before she leaves…)

Customer #1: “This is terrible customer service, you know! I shouldn’t have to wait! You took my question, that means I am being helped first and foremost!”

Customer #2: “No, you’re just a terrible f****** customer!”

Customer #1: “You shut your mouth, you f****** hog!”

(Another voice pops up.)

Customer #3: “Uh… [Name]?”

(Customer #1 turned and saw another customer who seemed to recognize her, and was staring at her in shock. She went red and bolted, leaving the rest of the room snickering and laughing. It’s always fun to see someone like this get embarrassed by their own behavior. Unfortunately, I didn’t find out who the other customer was or how they knew the woman.)

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Got A Chip On Their Shoulder About Using The Chip, Part 2

| MI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Is that a chip card?”

Customer: “Yes. Is there a chip reader? Do I insert it?”

Me: “Yes, it will tell you on the screen when to insert your card.”

(The customer tries to SWIPE her card, twice, both times backwards. Nothing, of course, happens.)

Me: “It’s a chip card, right? You’ll have to insert it.”

(The customer swipes again, this time backwards and upside down. Still nothing.)

Me: “You’ll need to insert your card.”

Customer: “It says ‘Error reading card, please insert.’ Should I swipe it again?”*swipes card again upside/backwards/inside out if possible, before I have a chance to respond*

Me: “You need to insert your card, ma’am.”

Customer: *finally inserts the card* “I don’t understand why these chip readers take so long.”

Related:

Got A Chip On Their Shoulder About Using The Chip

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Whatever Boris Is Into Is None Of Our Business

| ME, USA | Funny Names, Rude & Risque, Technology

(We have a patron who frequently asks the library staff to check the spelling on various words or phrases that she’s searching for online. She never accepts that she just spelled it wrong in the first place, but insists that Google it intentionally messing things up for her.)

Patron: “Can you look up the correct spelling for the Northern Lights?”

Me: “Sure. It’s N-O-R-T-H—”

Patron: “No, I mean the real name for them, ‘Aura’ something.”

Me: “Ah, Aurora Borealis.”

Patron: “Yes, but when I typed it in Google kept messing up and showing me dirty stuff! Can you write down the right spelling?”

(She handed me a slip of paper to write on. On it, she’d already written “AREOLA BORIS”.)

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Net-Twerk Support

| MS, USA | Bizarre, Technology

(I call a customer because I have to remote into their computer to check on something. He is an older man I had talked to before and was always very nice. When I get on his computer, I notice a tab still open from YouTube called “how to twerk.” I act like I don’t notice it but he immediately closes it out and says:)

Customer: “Hey, it’s harder than it looks!”

(Not the explanation I was expecting.)

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