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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

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Rage Against The Machine

| NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Popular, Technology

(I work for a debt relief company, and due to that, we get many angry callers demanding to know how we “found their number” (we got it from that Get Debt Relief application you filled out yesterday) and those who think we’re either collectors or scammers. I had a great conversation today with a woman who thought I was a robot.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Debt Relief Company]. This is [My Name] speaking; how can I help you?”

Caller: “Are you one of those robots?”

Me: “No, my name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “You sound like a robot.”

Me: “I assure you that I am a real person. My name is [My Name]. How can I be of assistance?”

Caller: “They could have recorded that!”

Me: “I am not a recording.”

Caller: “Of course the recording would say that!”

Me: “You’re wasting my time. Goodbye.”

(I disconnected the call as, fortunately, we are allowed to do. Sadly, not everyone is so lucky, and many jobs expect you to put up with that crap.)

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App-parently Stupid

| Opelika, AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Popular, Technology

(I work in a chat center contracted to a large cell phone carrier. My department covers their customer care and sales chats. Currently, there is a special in which iPhones are $99 with a two-year contract. The following is an interaction between my coworker who works sales and a customer.)

Customer: “Hi! I was just wondering… How much is the $99 iPhone?”

Coworker: “It’s $99.”

Customer: “Oh, gosh, thank you so much! That is a lot less than what I was expecting!”

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Drawing To A Conclusion

| Finland | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular, Technology

(We have a self-service coffee machine, which has caused a lot of confusion with the customers about which button to press. We’ve put really clear markings to the machine to lessen the “problem,” we hid every unnecessary button with white stickers, and someone has drawn arrows on them to point at the only button a customer needs to press. We also have two different card readers at the checkout, labeled with multiple stickers so people would know which one to use.)

Customer: “This must be a joke. Are you making fun of your customers with all these markings on the coffee machine?”

Me: “I’m sorry; I guess someone has got a little carried away with the drawings. You wouldn’t believe how often people still ask what to press though.”

(Customer chuckles a little and comes to checkout to pay their stuff.)

Customer: *totally oblivious now* “So, which card reader should I use?”

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Makes You Want To ‘Bang’ Your Head Against The Wall

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Popular, Technology

Customer: “My computer made a bang noise, stopped working, then there was a weird smell… Is that a bad thing?”

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A Surge Of Abuse

| CT, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular, Technology

(We get a call about one of our customer’s network not working on one floor of their place. I am quickly sent over to check on the problem and when I arrive, I find the owner of the company standing there looking quite displeased.)

Me: “Good afternoon! My name is [My Name] from [Company]; I hear you have a bit of a network problem?”

Owner: “Yes. You people installed my network two months ago and it’s broken.”

Me: “Uh oh, let’s see what’s going on!”

(He leads me downstairs to the main network router and modem. Sure enough everything on the main floor is working just fine, but the one running upstairs is showing no connection.)

Owner: “You charge me an arm and a leg, and everything is broken. I knew I should have gone with one of the dozen other companies around. You people just gave me s***ty equipment! You don’t know what you’re doing, do you?”

(I’ve all but tuned him out at this point, but I want to go have a look at the setup upstairs. I wait for a break in his rambling.)

Me: “Sir, can I have a look upstairs?”

Owner: “May as well…”

(He brings me upstairs and within a minute, I see the problem. He begins rambling again about how horrible we are at our jobs, how we just sold him broken equipment, and I stop him.)

Me: “Excuse me, [Owner]?”

Owner: “What?”

Me: “I understand being frustrated at equipment not working and paying a professional to fix your equipment, only to have it break, but please, I don’t appreciate the badmouthing right to my face. I was not employed with the company when your network was set up. Also—” *I flip the switch on the surge protector connected to his network switch to ON* “—you should be all set.”

(We check the computer and, sure enough, his network is working perfectly.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, [Owner]?”

(He is silent with this face of, “Oh…” and just turns and walks away to his office, closing the door behind him. His business partner peeks his head around the corner.)

Partner: “Really? That was it?”

Me: “Yes, it was.”

Partner: “Well, I’m very sorry to have to apologize for him, but I’m so sorry that he treated you that way. I promise, we’re not all like that here!”

(We shared a laugh and he showed me out. He was an incredibly friendly person. I headed back to my company, and apparently on my drive back, the partner had put a call in telling the owner how good of a job I did. I got a nice bonus for that one.)

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