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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

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Download Some Intelligence While You’re At It

| OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “I need to download a file to my pictures that change.”

Me: “Okay, yes, I believe you are talking about adding an image to your large slide show, but please let me make sure that you are talking about uploading an image, right? Adding the file to your website? Downloading is when you save things from your website to your computer.”

Customer: “No, I want to download a picture.”

Me: *talks them through the process of downloading images*

Customer: “Okay, thank you… So, when will the image show up on my website?”

Me: “Oh, I am sorry, sir; I must have misunderstood. So you do want to upload a file to your website? To have the image appear on your website for people to view?”

Customer: “No, I want to download the image!”

Me: *gives up, and gives instructions for how to upload an image*

Customer: “See?! Was that so hard? You tech people think you know what you are talking about and you couldn’t even help me download an image!” *hangs up*

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Scanning For Signs Of Intelligence

, | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Patron: “Can I scan this?”

Me: “Do you want to scan it or photocopy?”

Patron: “Scan.”

Me: “Okay. Our scanner’s right here. Here’s the program. It’ll take a second to warm up, and then you’re good to go.”

Patron: “And once it’s scanned in, I can print it, right?”

Me: “Uh… if… if you’re just going to print it, it’s probably faster just to photocopy it.”

Patron: “Oh. Okay.”

(These are the people who are going to be running the country, folks. Scary.)

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That’s One Serious Chip On Your Shoulder

| Bloomington, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

Me: “Please use our new chip reader.”

Customer: “I hate these chip reader things. I hate it more than genocide.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Yeah, genocide doesn’t affect me, like the chip does.”