Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

A Very Tech Supportive Outcome

| Pittsburg, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Technology

(I’m the customer in this scenario. I’ve gotten a new computer and am having troubles with the speakers so I call tech support. While on hold I’m fiddling with the computer. The tech support girl comes on right as I realize the problem.)

Me: “No! NOOO!”

Tech Support: *sounding alarmed* “Ma’am?”

Me: “Right as you picked up, I realized what the problem is… The plugs are in the wrong jacks.”

Tech Support: *laughing* “I see. Is there anything else I CAN’T help you with today?”

Me: “Maybe you could send somebody over to help me pick my dignity off the floor…”

Tech Support: *chuckling* “Sorry, ma’am. That’s not covered, unfortunately.”

With Every ‘Like’ I Like You Less

, | Birmingham, AL, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(A young teenage girl walks in the store:)

Girl: *with attitude* “I, like, bought this $80 phone case like two months ago and it’s, like, completely broken now. Like, what do I do?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the case is way past the store’s return policy; however, it does have a one-year manufacturer warranty you can go through.”

Girl: “That’s, like, so f****** unhelpful. You suck.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s all I can help you with.”

Customer: *observing this conversation to me* “Please don’t apologize to that brat. She obviously just needs to work for something for the first time in her life.”

Girl: “This store sucks and I, like, so just wasted my gas for this s***.” *storms out of store*

Not Worth The Paper It’s Printed On

| USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer has called in about his cable tv bill. Several discounts have expired on his previous statement so I have added some recurring discounts back on and begin to review with him:)

Me: “Okay, I’ve got those two $5 discounts renewed and also added another one for $5, and all of those are good for an entire year. I see that your billed amount was for $95 but you can go ahead and just send us the $80. The computer will know it’s received the correct amount.”

Customer: “I’m looking at my statement and it didn’t change.”

Me: “Oh, are you looking at your online statement? Press the F5 button to refresh the page and amount will change.”

Customer: “I don’t have a computer. My billing statement –” *I hear a flapping noise as a piece of paper is shaken towards the phone* “– DID NOT CHANGE.”

Me: “…You’re asking why the piece of paper you’re holding in your hand, a physical piece of paper that was mailed to you, didn’t change when I made adjustments to your account just now?”

Customer: “Yes! It still says $95!”

Attracting A Fridge Magnet

, | San Diego, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Technology

(I am in the business of buying items from auctions and selling them online. This guy had one of the most interesting haggling techniques over a practically new mini fridge. This conversation occurred over several days through text message.)

Customer: “Still have the mini fridge?”

Me: “Yes, it’s still available.”

Customer: “I was wondering if you would take $50 for it.”

Me: “I can’t for that low. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “What’s the lowest you will go?”

Me: “$75.”

Customer: “$50 max. It has a scratch and a dent. I see it in the pics.”

Me: “That’s why I’m asking so low. It’s worth $150. Thanks, anyway.”

Customer: “$75 is not low.”

(Three hours later:)

Customer: “Well, what’s the lowest?”

(I decided not to respond as I had already told him my lowest price and we had too big of a discrepancy to continue.)

Customer #2: “Hello, do you still have the mini fridge?”

Me: “Yes, I still have it.”

Customer #2: “How much is it?”

Me: “$85.”

Customer #2: “I’ll give you $50.”

(I start to wonder if this is the same guy. Since I was using an anonymous texting service, texts come through as separate threads rather than one conversational string between two people. I go back and look at the previous string and realize this is the same person, as if I won’t recognize that it’s the same number.)

Me: “Lowest I can do is $75.”

Customer: “Is it in perfect condition?”

Me: “We discussed this last night. The price has not changed. You are clearly interested. Why don’t you come have a look? The scratch on the outside has no effect on the functionality of the fridge. The inside is pristine, like new. You can purchase it for $75 or you can go to the store and buy a new one for over $150 or look for a smaller fridge that fits in your budget. $75 is the lowest I will go. Let me know if you are interested.”

Customer: “Not interested for $75.”

Me: “Best of luck to you.”

Customer: “You’re too far, anyway. You live in the middle of nowhere.”

Me: “…Then why did you contact me?”

Customer: “Cuz I’ll go for $50, duh.”

Me: “Haha, okay. Have a good one, man.”

(Four days later, guess who texts again…)

Customer: “Will you take $50 for the fridge?”

Me: “It’s still $85. Please stop asking if I will take $50. If you want it, the lowest is $75. If not, please look elsewhere.”

Customer: “D*** it.”

(Over a month later, I have since sold the fridge for the price I was asking and have acquired two more.)

New Customer: “Hello, do you still have the fridge?”

Me: “Yes, it’s still available.”

New Customer: “Will you take $40?”

Me: “I’ve got two posted, one for $90 that’s brand new and another for $75 that’s not… So, no, I can’t do $40. I could do $80 for the new and $60 for the other.”

New Customer: “All right, thanks.”

(My boyfriend jokingly suggests that maybe this is the same guy. We laugh and poke fun and play ‘what if,’ but I decide to go back through my texts and check. It is A MONTH AND THREE DAYS since our last contact, and sure enough, IT’S HIM.)

Me: “If you’re asking about the one we talked about last month, I sold that weeks ago for full price. These are new fridges I have.”

Customer: “Crap.”

A Tinny Tiny Problem With Her Hearing

| IL, USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem, Technology

(Customers are packed in a tight aisle, so to get out of the way my brother and I go to the end of the aisle and stand there. We are in front of the coffee creamer and are talking about mp3 players. Suddenly, an old lady appears.)

Old Lady: *in a loud, almost yelling, voice* “You’re in front of what I need!”

(My brother and I move away and continue our conversation. The old lady takes literally five minutes to choose her creamer and just as she’s about to walk away…)

Me: *directed towards my brother* “Yeah, but your mp3 player sounds so tinny.”

Old Lady:  “What did you say?!”

Me: “Uhm… a certain type of mp3 player sounds tinny?”

Old Lady: *getting mad* “What did you say to me!?”

Me: *louder* “This mp3 player sound tinny!”

Old Lady: *really mad* “What! Are you serious?! Tell me again, what did you say to me!?”

Me: *pretty loud* “My brother’s mp3 player sounds bad!”

(There’s silence for a moment, then the old lady walks away without saying a thing.)

Brother: “Her hearing must be tinny.”

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