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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

A Very Tech Supportive Outcome

| Pittsburg, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Technology

(I’m the customer in this scenario. I’ve gotten a new computer and am having troubles with the speakers so I call tech support. While on hold I’m fiddling with the computer. The tech support girl comes on right as I realize the problem.)

Me: “No! NOOO!”

Tech Support: *sounding alarmed* “Ma’am?”

Me: “Right as you picked up, I realized what the problem is… The plugs are in the wrong jacks.”

Tech Support: *laughing* “I see. Is there anything else I CAN’T help you with today?”

Me: “Maybe you could send somebody over to help me pick my dignity off the floor…”

Tech Support: *chuckling* “Sorry, ma’am. That’s not covered, unfortunately.”

With Every ‘Like’ I Like You Less

, | Birmingham, AL, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(A young teenage girl walks in the store:)

Girl: *with attitude* “I, like, bought this $80 phone case like two months ago and it’s, like, completely broken now. Like, what do I do?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the case is way past the store’s return policy; however, it does have a one-year manufacturer warranty you can go through.”

Girl: “That’s, like, so f****** unhelpful. You suck.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s all I can help you with.”

Customer: *observing this conversation to me* “Please don’t apologize to that brat. She obviously just needs to work for something for the first time in her life.”

Girl: “This store sucks and I, like, so just wasted my gas for this s***.” *storms out of store*

Not Worth The Paper It’s Printed On

| USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer has called in about his cable tv bill. Several discounts have expired on his previous statement so I have added some recurring discounts back on and begin to review with him:)

Me: “Okay, I’ve got those two $5 discounts renewed and also added another one for $5, and all of those are good for an entire year. I see that your billed amount was for $95 but you can go ahead and just send us the $80. The computer will know it’s received the correct amount.”

Customer: “I’m looking at my statement and it didn’t change.”

Me: “Oh, are you looking at your online statement? Press the F5 button to refresh the page and amount will change.”

Customer: “I don’t have a computer. My billing statement –” *I hear a flapping noise as a piece of paper is shaken towards the phone* “– DID NOT CHANGE.”

Me: “…You’re asking why the piece of paper you’re holding in your hand, a physical piece of paper that was mailed to you, didn’t change when I made adjustments to your account just now?”

Customer: “Yes! It still says $95!”