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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

A Tinny Tiny Problem With Her Hearing

| IL, USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem, Technology

(Customers are packed in a tight aisle, so to get out of the way my brother and I go to the end of the aisle and stand there. We are in front of the coffee creamer and are talking about mp3 players. Suddenly, an old lady appears.)

Old Lady: *in a loud, almost yelling, voice* “You’re in front of what I need!”

(My brother and I move away and continue our conversation. The old lady takes literally five minutes to choose her creamer and just as she’s about to walk away…)

Me: *directed towards my brother* “Yeah, but your mp3 player sounds so tinny.”

Old Lady:  “What did you say?!”

Me: “Uhm… a certain type of mp3 player sounds tinny?”

Old Lady: *getting mad* “What did you say to me!?”

Me: *louder* “This mp3 player sound tinny!”

Old Lady: *really mad* “What! Are you serious?! Tell me again, what did you say to me!?”

Me: *pretty loud* “My brother’s mp3 player sounds bad!”

(There’s silence for a moment, then the old lady walks away without saying a thing.)

Brother: “Her hearing must be tinny.”

Laptop Flop, Part 9

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Technology

(A student walks in with a laptop in a case.)

IT Support Staff: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Student: “My laptop won’t charge.”

(The laptop in question has one corner where the charger would be plugged in looking like it’s been smashed against a wall. You can see the white insides of the laptop; the whole hinge is broken and twisted.)

IT Support Staff: “Um, okay. Yeah, you might have a bit of a bad time there.”

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 8
Laptop Flop, Part 7
Laptop Flop, Part 6

Mother Is Due For A Conversation

| Dhaka, Bangladesh | Family & Kids, Money, Technology

(My mom just hung up on a call center employee about her phone bill.)

Me: “Mom, what’s wrong?”

Mom: “The d*** people at [Phone Service call center] won’t reduce my phone bill!”

Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

Mom: “Look!”

(She hands me the bill, which says that her current bill is BDT 4200, with this month’s charges being 500, and dues being a bit over BDT 3500.)

Mom: “I don’t even talk that much on my phone! All I do is get an Internet package every month and make a few calls! It shouldn’t be this high!”

Me: “Mom, you do see that it says here that you didn’t pay the last few bills fully, so you have dues of over BDT 3500, that is added to your existing bill.”

Mom: “But I didn’t talk that much! It shouldn’t be BDT 4000!”

Me: “Mom, that’s the DUES. Not this month’s bill. This month’s bill is BDT 500.”

Mom: “But I didn’t talk that much!”

Me: “Mom, you didn’t pay fully—”

Mom: “I DIDN’T TALK THAT MUCH!”

Me: “So, even though you didn’t pay your bill fully and have dues, you still think your bill should be less? The dues you racked up should just be forgotten?”

Mom: “YES! Is that so hard to understand?”

The Power To End This Call

| USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Technology

(After a expletive-laced tantrum on the phone about an issue I resolved, I’m still being screamed at by this jerk, for no reason. Finally I have had enough.)

Caller: “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO THE F*** I AM?!”

Me: “Sorry to interrupt your tirade, sir, but I just need to verify a few details.”

Caller: “Okay, what?!”

Me: “Your name is [Caller], you live at [Address], your phone number is [number], your wife’s phone number is [number], your birthdate is [date], you work at [Business,] your mother’s maiden name is [Name], and your social security number is [number], correct?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Do you know who I am?”

Caller: “…”

Me: “I’m the girl who makes eight bucks an hour to put up with the likes of you. I can ruin your life, and have another job making eight bucks an hour tomorrow. I suggest that you speak to me like a big boy. Now, is there anything else I can help you with, Mr. [social security number]?”

Caller: “No. I’m sure you are not allowed to tell people to f*** off, so I’m just gonna do it myself.”

Me: “Thank you, sir. Have a great day.”

Has No Time For Your Closing Time

| WI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Technology, Time

(I am closing at the fast food place, so things are slowing down. I get a customer in drive-thru who orders a lot of food, and several drinks, all large. I have very specific rules on when to take orders when there are only three people, including myself working. As I’m taking the payment, someone comes up to order.)

Me: *after automated message plays:* “Just one moment, please.”

Customer: *after about 15 seconds* “Hello?”

Me: *as I’m trying to count out the change for the polite customer at my window* “I’m sorry, give me just a minute.”

(The process repeats a few times before the customer trying to order gets fed up.)

Customer: *talking to his passenger* “Fine, let’s just go to McDonald’s.”

(They then they drive off, rather impatiently. As I’m handing out all of the food for the customer at my window:)

Customer #2: “Sorry for ordering so much.”

Me: “Not a problem; you have a nice night.”

(About 10 minutes later, that same truck, with Mister Impatient, comes back and places an order.)

Me: *at the window during payment* “McDonald’s closes before us here.”

(The customer gave me a startled look, not sure how I knew.)

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