Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 27

| Denmark | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work from home as a technical worker for a big firm. Employees can call me for ‘serious issues,’  but more often than not it’s trivial crap.)

Employee: “Hello. I’m having issues with my WiFi not connecting as it should.”

Me: “Okay, that could be several reasons that cause this. Maybe you could do a quick automatic check?”

(I walk her through how to troubleshoot on Windows.)

Employee: “Okay, that’s fixed it for now, but maybe you guys should actually use ‘wind-proof’ routers.”

(I stutter for a moment, not believing someone could be so stupid.)

Me: “What do you mean exactly? WiFi signals that aren’t affected by particles in the air?” *I chuckle slightly*

Employee: “Yes, they aren’t so hard to get. I think my WiFi keeps blowing out the windows and away from my PC.”

Me: “Uh huh… I’ll look into that. Goodbye.”

(I put the phone down, and put my head in my hands for a full 10 seconds before going back to the task at hand.)

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 26
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 25
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 24

Has No Liquidation Contemplation

| Australia | Crazy Requests, Technology

(A huge nationwide electronics chain is closing down, signs are everywhere and it’s been all over the news; you couldn’t miss the fact we are closing.)

Customer: “I bought this DVD player here two weeks ago and just found out it doesn’t play movies on USB. Can I get a refund?”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t accept any stock back unless faulty since we entered liquidation this week.”

Customer: “Can I get an exchange, then?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. No refunds or exchanges can be done anymore.” *points to one of the six A4 signs on the counter: ‘All sales final. No refunds unless faulty.’*

Customer: *while storming off* “This is ridiculous; I’m never shopping here again!”

Me: *to my coworker* “Like that will make a difference…”

Unable To Continue This Disc-ussion

| Orem, UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “I’m booting from your CD but it’s not working.”

(I find out they’re running an older version and ask them to email us a picture of the CD or box so we can supply the most recent download links.)

Customer: “I can’t take a picture. I don’t have that. I bought it five or six weeks ago.”

Me: “You don’t have the CD?”

Customer: “No. I only have a quick start guide that came in the box.”

Me: “If you don’t have the CD, how are you booting from the CD?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, that’s what’s in my computer. I guess that’s the CD.”

Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 13

, | Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m a manager for a national clothing retailer outside of Boston and our store is running a promotion where customers can get coupons via text message.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, how do I get a coupon?”

Me: “You send a text message to this number **** and we will send you the coupon back.”

Customer: “So, do I need a cell phone in order to receive text message coupons from you?”

(Skipping a beat to see if she is serious.)

Me: “Yes. Yes, you do need a cell phone to receive text messages.”

Customer: *looking confused* “Oh.” *she walks away*

Related:
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 12
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 11
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 10

I Can Hear You Dumb And Clear

| Du Quoin, IL, USA | Bizarre, Technology

(I have just started working at my local pharmacy. It’s my first time answering the phone and I’m really nervous.)

Me: “Pharmacy, this is [My Name]. Can I help you?”

Caller: “HELLO?? HELLLOOOO?”

Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Caller: “HELLOOOOOOOOO.”

Me: “Hello… ma’am?”

Caller: “CAAAAAN YOUUU HEEEAR MEEEE?”

Me: *holding phone away from my ear at this point* “Loud and clear, ma’am.”

Caller: “Oh, good. I just wanted to make sure my phone was working.” *click*

Me: *stares at phone*

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