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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

The Final Word On Passwords, Part 3

| NS, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work for a major telecommunications company that operates in Atlantic Canada as a customer service rep. A customer calls in and has a password on the account for verification (Instead of using D.O.B.))

Me: *after going through introductions, name and account number* “Thank you and for security purposes, can you confirm the password on the account?”

Customer: “Is it this?”

Me: “That isn’t the correct password on file.”

Customer: “Is it password?”

Me: “Unfortunately that is still incorrect.”

Customer: “I forget it.”

Me: “Well, we can’t go over any information unless you verify the password.”

Customer: “But I have a million passwords.”

Me: “Unfortunately, since I can’t verify you, you must go to a retail store location with photo ID and we can change or remove the password.”

Customer: “WHY SHOULD I USE TIME OUT OF MY DAY TO FIX YOUR PROBLEM?!”

Me: “Well, you chose the password and also chose not to add a hint. Policy states if you can’t verify yourself on your account you must prove you are who you say you are in store with picture ID.”

Customer: “YOU GUYS ARE CROOKS HIDING MY ACCOUNT INFORMATION FROM ME! I’M GOING TO [COMPETITOR COMPANY]!” *click*

Coworker: “Umm… did she seriously say she would disconnect because she didn’t know her own password?”

Related:
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 2
The Final Word On Passwords

You Are Sew Lying

| Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Technology

(I’m 19, but I look at lot younger than what I am so people often mistake me for being school-aged when I work on the weekend. On this particular Saturday I’m working at the counter with my middle-aged coworker. I see a couple deliberately letting people past them in the line, clearly making sure I’m the one that serves them.)

Me: “Hello! How can I help you today?”

Man: “I want to return my wife’s sewing machine.”

(He places an open sewing machine box on the counter.)

Me: “Ok, sir; was there a problem with it?”

Man: “No—”

Woman: “Yes—”

(The man glares at his wife before continuing.)

Man: “No, we just changed our mind.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we only do change-of-mind refunds for sewing machines that haven’t been opened.”

Man: “But it was open when we bought it!”

(I’d been working at this store for a while and knew all the policies; there was no fooling me.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but that’s not possible. All sewing machines are sealed with security tape when they are purchased to prevent theft. You wouldn’t have been allowed to leave the store with an open box like that. I’m afraid I cannot refund you.”

(The man grumbles, and the woman decides to chime in.)

Woman: “I did open it! I tried to use the machine but it was broken! I want a refund!”

(Despite the fact that they just changed their story, I decide to follow company policy and treat the machine as if it was indeed ‘faulty.’ We are encouraged to test all machines that customers claim are broken, mostly because the majority of the time the customers aren’t using it correctly, or there’s a really small problem that we can fix ourselves without having to send it away under warranty.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I’ll just have to test the machine to see if I can fix the problem myself. Most of the time we don’t have to send it back to the manufacturer.”

(I remove the machine from the packaging and set it up. I’ve been sewing for years so I know exactly what I’m doing, and I can see the woman getting increasingly panicked as I thread up the machine and find some fabric to test it with. I try all of the functions and they work perfectly.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, it seems your machine is fine after all. Are you sure you set it up correctly?”

Woman: “Yes, I did exactly what you did, but it didn’t work! I want a refund!”

(Even though I’m allowed to turn them away, I can see the machine is still brand new so I go and talk to my manager about giving a refund. She says not to give them any money back, instead they can exchange it for a more expensive machine and pay the difference. The couple don’t take this news so well.)

Man: “Bull-s***! You have to refund us! It’s the law!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but Australian consumer law requires we refund you only if the product is faulty, wrongly described or doesn’t do what it’s supposed to. We have established that the sewing machine sews perfectly and looks exactly the same as the photo on the box, so I do not have to offer you a refund or exchange at all. I am, however, willing to let you exchange it for another machine of equal or higher value.”

(All of a sudden the couple turns to look each other and starts arguing in a foreign language. They eventually turn back to me.)

Man: “So, which machines can we exchange it for?”

Me: “Well, it depends how much you paid for your original one. May I see your receipt?”

Man: “We don’t have one. Only a credit card statement.”

(I had to go back to my manager and ask if I could still do the transaction without a receipt. It is a good five minutes before I get back to the counter.)

Me: “Okay, sir, the bank statement should be fine, but we’ll need extra time to find the receipt in our system.”

Man: “Actually, we’ve decided to keep our original machine.”

(Before I could stop him, he took the machine off the counter and walked off. I had to run to the front of the store and explain to my coworker at the door that someone was about to leave the store with an open sewing machine box and no receipt. The customers waiting in line were not impressed.)

Time Flies When You’re Having Run Of The Place

| ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology, Time

(We have a two-hour time limit on our computers, to ensure that everyone who needs a computer gets a chance at one. If someone is doing homework, taxes, looking for employment, etc., I can stretch the time limit, but kids who come in just to watch YouTube or play games are kept to the two-hour limit.)

Girl: “I want a computer, please.”

Me: “All right, you’re on Computer #1. Remember there’s a two hour time limit.”

Girl: “I KNOW! Geez. You don’t have to tell me every time!”

(This girl comes in regularly to watch YouTube videos, and that’s her reaction every time I remind her of the time limit. Finally, one day she comes in and I figure I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt.)

Girl: “I want a computer.”

Me: “All right, Computer #1.” *decide not to remind her of the rule, as she’s insisted she knows it*

(My shift ends before her time limit is up, so I remind her as I leave that she has ten minutes left. She comes in the next day.)

Girl: “I want a computer.”

Me: “All right, hop on Computer #1. Remember, there’s a two-hour time limit.”

Girl: “Oh, nobody told me that yesterday, so I was on for like, five hours.”

Me: “…I told you that you had ten minutes left. Also, the time limit applies whether or not I remind you of it.”

Girl: “Well, nobody told me so I thought it didn’t apply.”

Me: *internally head-desking*