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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

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Try Scamming A Mile In His Shoes

| WI, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Popular, Technology

(A customer calls about a TV he’d ordered online that he wants to return, stating the reason is it is ‘damaged.’ Our driver goes to retrieve the item. He has an inspection form to complete so he is getting ready to open the box to inspect the TV.)

Customer: “What are you doing?!”

Driver: *shows inspection form* “I’m required to fill this out before I take the TV. This will only take a minute.”

(The driver proceeds to open the TV box fully expecting a 55″ TV only to find the box is full of gym shoes.)

Driver: “What the h*** is this?”

Customer: “What?! [Company] must have sent it to me like that!”

(Not only did we not pick up his ‘TV’ but this customer is now officially black-listed from ever ordering anything from that company again.)

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Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 25

| OR, USA | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging, Popular, Technology

(I work front desk at a hotel.)

Me: “Front desk. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Guest: “Yes, I was just wondering if you could maybe turn down the wifi?”

Me: “I’m sorry… Could you repeat your question?”

Guest: “Yeah, could you please turn the wifi down?”

Me: “I’m sorry; you want me to turn the wifi down? Are you having trouble connecting to the Internet?”

Guest: “No, I want it off!”

Me: “Well, I can’t turn it off; otherwise the other guests won’t have any Internet either.”

Guest: “Well, could you at least turn it down a bit, then?”

Me: “If you don’t want any Internet you can simply disconnect any devices you have from the wifi, but I can’t turn it down.”

Guest: *grunts and gives a deep sigh* “Okay, obviously you have no idea what wifi is.”

(The guest hangs up and a few hours later he comes up to the front desk and wants to check out a day early.)

Me: “Was there something wrong with the room that I could help you with?”

Guest: “Yeah, I want to get out of here because your d*** wifi is so strong! Maybe you should turn it down a bit so people can get some rest!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; I really don’t understand what you mean.”

Guest: “I’m leaving because I have a headache! If you had just turned down the f***ing wifi like I asked my head wouldn’t hurt so much!”

Me: “I’m… sorry?”

(The guest left in a rage and when I told my manager what had happened he laughed and agreed that he had no idea what was wrong with that guy.)

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 24
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 23
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 22

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Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 7

| Houston, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work at a video game store who allows customers to trade in games. I answer the phone.)

Me: “This is [Store]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I bought a copy of Grand Theft Auto V and it’s all scratched up and won’t work. Can I trade it in for a new one?”

Me: “Did you get the warranty? If not you can trade it in for something but we will mark it as defective.”

Customer: “No. I bought it at [Different Store]. I just wanted to trade it for another one.”

Me: “So you want a straight trade for another copy? Even though you bought it at [Different Store]?”

Customer: “Yeah. I need a new one since mine doesn’t work.”

Me: “Yeah… that’s not going to happen.”

Customer: “Really? Why not?”

Me: “Have a good night.” *hangs up and turns to my manager* “I think I have had my daily dose of stupid for the day…”

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 6
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 5
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 4

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Too Taxing For Them To Understand

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(About once a month, the grocery store I work at holds a sale event called “No Tax Day” where the store pays the taxes for the day. There’s no real way for our system to do this automatically. I work the U-Scan machines. At every machine, we have a large, bold sign telling customers to hit the help button when they’re finished scanning so the attendant can remove their taxes for them. Despite this, most customers do not. I try to catch as many as I can before the customer gets a chance to hit the payment button, and some sorts of payment I can cancel from my station to take off the taxes. The debit/credit machines, however, have to be cancelled from their pinpads.)

Customer: *hits the debit button and begins debit payment*

Me: *notices, rushes over, pulls out her card and puts it down, and hits the cancel button on the pinpad* “Ma’am, if you’ll give me just a moment, I can take off your taxes for you before you pay.” *taps the sign*

(I rushed back to my station, which only took a moment. By the time I got there, she’d already begun her debit transaction again.)

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When Patients Have No Patience

| MO, USA | Health & Body, Popular, Technology

(I’m a graduate student in a university research lab in the same building as a hospital. There is no patient care in my area, but occasionally we get calls from people trying to reach the hospital staff. The lab phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Lab]. [My Name] speaking!”

(A confused, elderly man is on the line.)

Man: “You need to get someone down here right now! Those d*** men moved the clicker so I can’t get anyone to help me!”

Me: “Sir, I think you have the wrong number. This is a research lab.”

Man: “Well, I just can’t seem to find anyone. Do you people even care about your patients?”

Me: “Sir, where are you? Maybe I can get a hold of someone; I’m at [University] medical centre.”

Man: “Yes! The medical centre people! Send them quick! I’ve been waiting for hours.”

Me: “Sir, where are you? I can’t call if I don’t know where you are.”

Man: “I’ve been waiting for hours! If you people at [Hospital at other side of city] operate like this all the time, I won’t be coming back here ever again!”

Me: “Sir… I’m not there but… what is your name?”

Man: “507!”

Me: “Well, sir, I’ll see what I can do… but I suggest you keep trying to reach someone.”

(I call the hospital, explain the situation and, while giggling to herself, the receptionist forwards me to the nurses’ station. I explain to the nurse what happened…)

Me: “…and so I’m fairly certain there’s someone in room 507 who needs your help.”

Nurse: “Thank you for letting me know; we’ll go take a look.”

Me: “Sure thing, ma’am and, uh… best of luck. He didn’t sound very happy.”

Nurse: *deep sigh* “They never are.”

(Dear Mom: THIS is one of many reasons why I went for a PhD, not an MD.)

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