Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…


Disconnected From Reality

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am doing troubleshooting over the phone with a woman whose office phone is acting up.)

Me: “So, I’m going to get you to reboot your phone. All you need to do is unplug the cable in the back of the base.”

Customer: “This data cable?”

Me: “Yes, that’s the one, but don’t do it yet or we’ll be disconnect— Hello? Hello?”

The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Technology

(My store often offers promotions where if you buy two of certain items, you get a free $5 store gift card. Due to how our system works, the gift card has to be scanned to activate it. A customer comes up to me at the service desk, complaining that she’s been charged for the free gift card.)

Customer: “The sign said if I bought these two products, I’d get a free gift card. But the cashier charged me for the card!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Can I see your receipt? I’ll try to get this straightened out.”

(I look at her receipt, and she hasn’t been charged. It says:)

-Gift Card $5

-Free Promotion -$5

-Promo total $0

(I explain this to her, pointing out where the negative number cancels out the card amount.)

Customer: “…Well, I guess I wasn’t charged. But I’m still going to ask my husband to double-check this when I get home. This would be so much easier if you just gave people the card without scanning it!”

Me: “But ma’am, as I said, if it wasn’t scanned it wouldn’t activate, and you’d be given an empty card.”

Customer: “Well, that’s your problem, isn’t it?!”

(She finally leaves and another customer comes up.)

Customer #2: “Let me guess… that happens way more often than it should.”

Me: “You have no idea…”

Taxing Faxing, Part 17

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology

(After finishing up a call with a customer…)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “You know, you don’t have to send out things via the post. It’s such a waste of paper and trees.”

Me: “Fair enough.”

Customer: “So, I was thinking you could fax them. Is that okay?”

Taxing Faxing, Part 16
Taxing Faxing, Part 15
Taxing Faxing, Part 14

Problem Solving Revolving

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Technology

(We have a tech-support line but no dedicated support people, so all us techs take turns answering it. It is my turn.)

Me: “[Store], support. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, can you help me with… never mind. I figured it out. Thanks, bye!”

Me: *turns to the next tech in rotation* “Next one’s yours!”

Adroidtly Handled

| Chattanooga, TN, USA | Geeks Rule, Technology

(There’s an R2-D2 toy on display in the middle of the store. A customer walks up and opens up one of the hatches on it.)

R2-D2: “Beep boop.”

Customer: “Oh, sorry.” *closes the hatch*

R2-D2: “Beep boop.”

Customer: “You’re welcome.”


Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!

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