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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

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When Patients Have No Patience

| MO, USA | Health & Body, Popular, Technology

(I’m a graduate student in a university research lab in the same building as a hospital. There is no patient care in my area, but occasionally we get calls from people trying to reach the hospital staff. The lab phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Lab]. [My Name] speaking!”

(A confused, elderly man is on the line.)

Man: “You need to get someone down here right now! Those d*** men moved the clicker so I can’t get anyone to help me!”

Me: “Sir, I think you have the wrong number. This is a research lab.”

Man: “Well, I just can’t seem to find anyone. Do you people even care about your patients?”

Me: “Sir, where are you? Maybe I can get a hold of someone; I’m at [University] medical centre.”

Man: “Yes! The medical centre people! Send them quick! I’ve been waiting for hours.”

Me: “Sir, where are you? I can’t call if I don’t know where you are.”

Man: “I’ve been waiting for hours! If you people at [Hospital at other side of city] operate like this all the time, I won’t be coming back here ever again!”

Me: “Sir… I’m not there but… what is your name?”

Man: “507!”

Me: “Well, sir, I’ll see what I can do… but I suggest you keep trying to reach someone.”

(I call the hospital, explain the situation and, while giggling to herself, the receptionist forwards me to the nurses’ station. I explain to the nurse what happened…)

Me: “…and so I’m fairly certain there’s someone in room 507 who needs your help.”

Nurse: “Thank you for letting me know; we’ll go take a look.”

Me: “Sure thing, ma’am and, uh… best of luck. He didn’t sound very happy.”

Nurse: *deep sigh* “They never are.”

(Dear Mom: THIS is one of many reasons why I went for a PhD, not an MD.)

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Not-So-Smart-Phone: The Movie

| Tyler, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV, Technology

(I’m checking theaters on a busy weekend, which means walking into each theater and making sure people aren’t on their phones, etc. A guy sitting on the very front row of a crowded theater has his MASSIVE phone out and even holds it up where everyone in the theater can see it, so I go up to him.)

Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to turn off your phone.”

Customer: “What phone?”

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Download Some Intelligence While You’re At It

| OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “I need to download a file to my pictures that change.”

Me: “Okay, yes, I believe you are talking about adding an image to your large slide show, but please let me make sure that you are talking about uploading an image, right? Adding the file to your website? Downloading is when you save things from your website to your computer.”

Customer: “No, I want to download a picture.”

Me: *talks them through the process of downloading images*

Customer: “Okay, thank you… So, when will the image show up on my website?”

Me: “Oh, I am sorry, sir; I must have misunderstood. So you do want to upload a file to your website? To have the image appear on your website for people to view?”

Customer: “No, I want to download the image!”

Me: *gives up, and gives instructions for how to upload an image*

Customer: “See?! Was that so hard? You tech people think you know what you are talking about and you couldn’t even help me download an image!” *hangs up*