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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Adroidtly Handled

| Chattanooga, TN, USA | Geeks Rule, Technology

(There’s an R2-D2 toy on display in the middle of the store. A customer walks up and opens up one of the hatches on it.)

R2-D2: “Beep boop.”

Customer: “Oh, sorry.” *closes the hatch*

R2-D2: “Beep boop.”

Customer: “You’re welcome.”

 

Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!

Don’t Answer Machine Back

| Omaha, NE, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “How may I help you, sir?”

Customer: “I want your voice mail service turned off now!”

Me: “Let me take a look… your voice mail is deactivated already, sir.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t! I came home today and my phone said I had one message!”

Me: “Does your phone have an answering machine, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, it does! What does that have to do with anything!?! You never turned off your voice mail and now my phone says I have a message!”

Me: “It’s on your answering machine, sir.”

Customer: “And how did it get there?! Out of thin air?!”

Me: “No, sir, someone called you and left a message on the answering machine.”

Customer: “My a** they did!” *click*

Netflix And Won’t Chill

| Omaha, NE, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Popular, Technology

Me: “How may I help you today?”

Female Customer: “I was trying to watch something on demand and it would go through. Why is that?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, there is an outage for your area for that service at the moment.”

Female Customer: “How the h*** is that supposed to help me? I want a forty dollar credit on my account.”

Me: “Well I would be glad to credit you for the day of service for the inconvenience.”

Female Customer: “Listen here, you son of a b****! I want a forty dollar credit because this is ruining my night. Do you have any idea how much I want to watch my shows?”

Me: “I understand and apologize, ma’am, but there are a lot of people affected by this issue at the moment. You’re not the only one and we can’t give everyone a forty dollar credit.”

Female Customer: “I don’t give a d***! This is my night to watch my shows. My account is more important than theirs! You can handle them on your own time!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you want I can credit you for the day and then if you like I can send a field technician out to you tomorrow after the outage to make sure your services are working fine.”

Female Customer: “Whatever! Just give me the credit! How much is it?”

Me: “Five dollars.”

Female Customer: “Was that so hard?”

(I should add that I may have “forgotten” to tell her about the charge for the technician.)

They Lost The Game

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(Customer comes up to the counter with a Nintendo Amiibo figure of Sonic.)

Customer: “Hi, do you know which games this figure is compatible with?”

Me: *pulls up a list* “It works with Super Smash Bros for Wii U and 3DS, Super Mario Maker, and Mario Kart 8.”

Customer: “What about Sonic Generations?”

Me: “Sorry, that game is on the Xbox 360; Amiibo figures only work on the Nintendo WiiU and New 3DS.”

Customer: “Well, I have a portable NFC reader.”

Me: “Again, that only works on the 3DS or 2DS.”

Customer: “I don’t see any reason why it wouldn’t work on my Xbox 360.”

Me: “The Xbox 360 and Nintendo Wii U/3DS are made by totally different companies.”

Customer: “But they’re both video game consoles.”

Me: *takes a deep breath* “Sir, the Xbox 360 is made by Microsoft and the Wii U and 3DS are both made by Nintendo. Microsoft and Nintendo don’t work together on game consoles and the two consoles don’t even play the same games.”

Customer: “But I’ve seen Sonic on both consoles.”

Me: “Yes, but Sonic Generations has never been on a Nintendo console, let alone the WiiU or 3DS. Even if it was, there’s no guarantee the Sonic amiibo would work with it.”

(Customer has blank stare.)

Customer: “Wait, what if I put the Sonic Generations disc in a Wii U?”

Me: “Nothing would happen.”

Customer: “Oh.” *walks away*

Me: “Next, please.”

(Another customer comes up to the counter with a copy of ‘Fallout 4’ for the Xbox One.)

Other Customer: “Does this work on mobile?”

Me: “Sorry, I’m going on break…”

Not Very Open Minded, Part 14

| Kent, England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work on the customer service desk of a large, busy retail store. We open later on Sundays, at 11 am. Our opening times are clearly signposted on the doors. It’s around 10 am and although we’ve raised the metal shutters on our storefront we haven’t yet unlocked the doors, and are still setting up for the day. The customer bangs on the door, causing me to look up from my paperwork. I shake my head and point to the sign.)

Me: “We’re not open yet, sorry!”

(Customer continues to bang on the door, then with an almighty shove manages to actually break it down.)

Customer: “I want to do a return!”

Me: “Uh… you just BROKE our door. We aren’t open!”

Customer: “Right, whatever. So I need to return these picture frames. Here’s my receipt…”

Me: “I can’t return them. Our tills aren’t on, and even if they were our office team hasn’t put the cash drawers in. You have to wait until 11 am.”

Customer: “What? You’re telling me I can’t return these? Why aren’t your tills on yet?”

Me: “We’re not open. We open at 11 am. Our opening times are on the sign outside. See?”

Customer: “What? So I can’t return them?”

Me: “You can, but you need to wait another hour. The tills aren’t on. The store isn’t open. I physically can’t give you your money back yet.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! This is dreadful customer service; I’m never coming back here again!”

(She stormed out in a huff, leaving me confused, bewildered, and with the task of fixing the doors back up before we open.)

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 13
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 12
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 11

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