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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

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Past Due For Another Bad Customer

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Money, Technology

(I work in a corporate cell phone store. In comes a lady and her daughter, and I find out that they are wanting to upgrade the daughter’s account.)

Me: “Okay, well, let me pull up your account to verify that you are eligible for an upgrade. It does appear that you’re due for an upgrade on her line; however, it appears you have a past due balance on your account that would need to be paid.”

Customer: “Past due? I know that bill is not past due! That bill was due the 24th and it’s the 28th.”

(I take a deep breath.)

Me: “Ma’am, if you look at your past billing history your bill is due the 24th every single month.”

Customer: “But for you to say it’s past due is ridiculous.”

Me: “Ma’am, with all due respect, it is past due.”

Customer: “You consider four days being past due?”

Me: “It could be an hour past midnight and the system would consider it past due, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, that’s f***ing ridiculous.”

Me: “Well, to proceed with the upgrade the system requires it to be paid.”

(She paid the bill and we upgraded her daughter. After, she stormed out still disgruntled. I looked in the system and she never paid it on time and was charged a monthly late fee.)

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Will Get The Occasional Hack

| Scranton, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Ya, my a**-hole neighbor hacked into your cable and is watching me!”

Me: “Excuse me, sir? Did you say he hacked our cable and is watching you?”

Customer: “Ya, that’s right! I heard him over there telling all his friends he hacked my cable box and can see me. I want you to put a block on him!”

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir, but I can assure you that’s not possible.”

Customer: “Yes, it is! I saw it on the news last week!”

Me: “Is it possible he knew you were listening and he is messing with you?”

Customer: “NO! You know it can happen and it happened to me! Are you stupid? I’m being watched and you don’t even care. They hacked into my cable box and they are watching me through the green light on the box. Shut his service off NOW!”

Me: “Sir, If you feel your life is in danger or you’re being talked about maybe you should call the police.”

Customer: “Ya, I’ll call the police now. I’m also going to report your company and they are going to shut you down!”

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with, sir?”

Customer: “NO!” *hangs up*

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A Copier Paste Response

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Technology

(I work in a copy center in a local office supply store.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name] in the copy center. How can I help you?

Customer: “Yes, I’m calling about a my printer…”

(The customer goes into long rant about their printer including model number and what is wrong with it. I try several times to jump in but have no success; I let the customer finish their rant.)

Customer: “So, do you think you can help me?”

Me: *sighing* “I am sorry, sir, but I am going to have to transfer you to our tech department.”

Customer: “But it’s a PRINTER issue. You work with printers?!”

Me: “Sir, I work with high speed copy machines. I don’t know anything about your [Home Brand Printer] and I don’t work on repairing printers; I just make copies.”

Customer: “Well, that’s just stupid!”

Me: “I’m sure it is. Hold, please.”

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An Instruction Deconstruction

, | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Popular, Technology

(I answer a customer call.)

Customer: “I bought a VCR from you and I followed the cable provider instructions for hookup but I can’t get it to work.”

(I explains the correct hookup step by step.)

Customer: “But that isn’t how the cable provider instructions said.”

Me: “You followed the cable provider instructions and it doesn’t work?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Would you like to follow my instructions so that it does work?”

Customer: “Uh, okay…”

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Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 26

| TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

(I work at a frozen custard and coffee shop. To draw in customers we also offer free wifi.)

Customer: “I’ll get a mocha custard with extra chocolate. And what is a ‘wehfeh?'”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Oh, um, a weefee?” *she points to the sign*

Me: “Oh! Wifi!”

Customer: “Oh! Oh, yes, sure. This says I can get it free?”

Me: “Yep.”

(There’s a long pause while the woman stares at me.)

Customer: *getting a little impatient* “What is it? Okay, is it a smoothie or custard or drink?”

(I’m a little at a loss for words so it takes me a minute to compose my answer.)

Me: “Oh, it’s, you know, it’s Internet. Like wireless Internet?” *the woman starts frowning at me* “For using your laptop or phone in the store.”

Customer: “I want my custard to go.”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 25
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 24
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 23

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