Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

A Pre-Holiday Basket Case

| USA | Holidays, Technology

(I work for a call center handling issues typical AFTER something has already gone wrong. I take a call on the Thursday before Easter Sunday.)

Me: “Thanks calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need help finding an Easter basket for my nieces. I am not sure what to get them. I have never bought one before.”

Me: “Well, I can try and help with that? Do you know what your nieces like?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Well, do you know their favorite color?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you know what kind of candy they like?”

Customer: “No. Look I just need help picking out a basket.”

Me: “I’ll be honest. We are a major online seller. Since it’s so close to Easter, sir, there are hundred of baskets for sale on the website.”

Customer: *long pause* “Well… I know they like girly stuff… How about something with crafts?”

Me: “Sir, I looked and there are still several baskets with that type of stuff. Do you have anything else to help narrow down the search?”

Customer: “Just pick some out for me and I will look.”

(I spend the next 45 minutes adding over 20 different baskets to his cart/basket online and he says no to all.)

Customer: “We are getting nowhere with this. Every basket I want won’t make it in time. Why?”

Me: “Sir, the ones you picked out are sold by third party sellers. It looks like the each one is made to order when you order it.”

Customer: “Why don’t you make them ship faster? You should make them ship faster.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t make them ship faster. It’s their choice if they want to ship that fast.”

Customer: “You are no help. Screw it. I am going to Wal-Mart!” *click*

Maybe He Was Checking His Eyelids For Holes?

| Silver Spring, MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(I am a librarian with a city library. I usually work behind the information desk, but every so often, if no one asks me any questions, I walk around the library and see who needs help. One of the things I am supposed to do is remind people of the rules, such as no sleeping. I see a man sitting in an armchair with his eyes closed, and assume he is asleep.)

Me: “Sorry to disturb you, sir, but I’m afraid we don’t allow sleeping in the library.”

Customer: *with a really nasty grin* “Come here.”

Me: *taking two steps closer* “Yes?”

Customer: *pulls out black phone* “You see this?”

Me: “Sir, that’s really not the issue—”

Customer: “I was trying to adjust the screen. Not everyone’s eyes work as well as yours. So do yourself a favor and don’t go around assuming everyone with their eyes closed is sleeping!”

Me: *this flies in the face of every bit of training I’ve gotten, not to mention, I didn’t see him with his phone out when I saw him* “Sir, there is no need to take that tone with me. Also, your eyes were closed and your phone wasn’t there; exactly what am I supposed to assume?”

Customer: “Get out of here, boy, and mind your own business!”

(Since it is possible I may not have seen the phone, I decide it’s enough. His eyes are open.)

Me: “Okay, then. You have a nice day.” *I turn and walk away*

Customer: *mutters* “Mother-f***er!”

Me: “And the same to you, sir.”

Hope He Gets One With The Exploding Battery

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Technology, Wild & Unruly

Coworker #1: “Hello, can I help you with anything today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I want to know about the new Samsung phone. How much is it?”

Coworker #1: “Well, right now it’s—”

Customer: *interrupting* “How much is it for a used one?”

Coworker #1: “I’m not actually sure.”

(The customer turns to my other coworker.)

Customer: “How much would a used Samsung phone be?”

Coworker #2: “Sorry, sir, we don’t actually sell used phones here.”

Customer: “I DIDN’T ASK YOU TO SELL ME ONE. I ASKED YOU HOW MUCH THEY ARE!”

(He then turns to me.)

Customer: “Obviously these two are useless. how much is that phone if I buy it used?”

Me: “We don’t have pricing for items we don’t sell, and I couldn’t honestly give you an accurate estimate either.”

Customer: “You’re all f****** useless! Can’t even answer a simple f****** question!”

That Thinking Has Put Them Out Of Wet Pocket

| Amsterdam, The Netherlands | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work at the repair desk of a big electronics store. A customer brings in a phone which isn’t working. I go to the back to open it up and check the inside. It clearly has liquid damage. I return to tell the customer about it.)

Customer: “Liquid damage? How’d that happen?”

Me: “I’m afraid I don’t know. Did you use it in the rain? Did you accidentally drop it in some water?”

Customer: “Well, we were riding our bikes the other day when it was raining a lot. We got soaking wet, and I had the phone in my pocket… No, that couldn’t be it.”

Trust Your Fellow Scam

| NJ, USA | Liars & Scammers, Technology

Customer: “Hey, I need to return this laptop. It’s broken.”

(He lays down a fairly new model of MacBook, still in its box, that costs in the region of around $1,300. The receipt he hands me seems to match and it’s within our 30 day return window… HOWEVER, I notice when he sets the laptop box down it makes a strange metallic rattling noise.)

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir. Can you give me a brief description of what’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “I just said, it’s broken.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll just need to have a look at it.”

Customer: “Huh?! No, you don’t! Just give me my refund!”

(I move to pick up the box, and while doing so I again hear that strange metallic rattling noise. Keep in mind that most MacBooks these days are made with all the guts welded to the case (hence how they’re able to make them so thin), so there’s very little in them that could rattle.)

Me: “I’m afraid, sir, it’s policy that I type up a damage report before I give you a refund. We need to send this back with some idea of what’s wrong with it so it can hopefully get repaired.”

Customer: “Can I get a manager? I’m in a hurry and just need my refund!”

Me: “I can certainly get you my manager but he’ll say the same thing. If you don’t know what’s wrong with it, I need to have an actual look at the computer before I get you your refund.”

Customer: “Gah, no wonder everyone hates shopping here! Whatever happened to trusting in your fellow man, huh?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I have to abide by our return process. Just let me take a look at the computer and I’ll get you your refund.”

Customer: “F*** you!”

(He turned and bolted out of the store entrance, right past our very confused security guard. Surprise, surprise, when I took the computer out, it was actually the casing for an old Windows laptop that was the same size as the MacBook that should’ve been in there. What’s more, it had been gutted save for a few discarded screws which explained the rattling. ‘Trust in your fellow man’ indeed.)

Page 3/23712345...Last