Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

A Disconnection Between Her Phone And The Truth

| USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Popular, Technology

(It’s late at night and I’m about leave work. I get a last minute call.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “My phone is broken and I DEMAND a new one.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. What distributor is your phone from?”

Caller: “Your company.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, let me rephrase. Who made your phone? Is it an Apple pro—“

Caller: “No, my phone isn’t a god-d*** Apple! Now, I demand a new phone!”

Me: *keeps playing her game* “I’m sorry, ma’am. Is your phone an Android?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am. What’s your name?”

Caller: “[Name].”

Me: “Thank you, please hold.”

(I put her on hold and pull up her records. You can see what phone the customer is calling from when you pull up the records, as well as other important details.)

Me: “Ma’am, [Company]’s records say you’re calling from the ‘broken phone.’ Records also say you’re three months overdue for your bill. Please pay with the next two months or else we’ll have to disconnect you.”

Caller: *click*

Bigot Exists Between Chair And Keyboard

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Bigotry, Popular, Technology

(I work in a tech support call center where most of my day is spent helping our clients reset various aspects of their computer.)

Me: “Okay, I think I know the problem here, but I just need some information from you to be certain. This might not be the issue, but it’s best that we check it just in case.”

Client: *very polite and understanding* “Whatever gets us back up so we can help our customers works for me. What do you need from me?”

Me: “The computers that are having the network errors, did you update them recently? I know a patch came out for [Operating System] yesterday, and I’ve heard that there may be some compatibility issues with it.”

Client: “I’m not sure; I’ll ask. So you can fix it?”

Me: “Not exactly. I don’t have the permissions needed to do this from my end. Let me check something server side here, right quick. Do you mind if I put you on hold for a minute?”

Client: “No, go right ahead.”

(I put the client on hold and grab one of our higher techs (basically a manager). I tell him what’s up, and he agrees to handle the rest of the call.)

Level Two Tech: *after connecting to my call* “Sir, I’ve spoken with [My Name] in regards to your problem, and I’ll be handling the call from this point forward.”

Client: “It’s about time! That f***er doesn’t know a thing about computers! Where the did you find a [racial slur] like that?”

Me: “Uh… sir… I’m still on the line.”

Client: “You’re still on the line?”

Me: “Yep.”

Client: “I… uh… sorry! Uh… you… you can fix this right?”

Level Two Tech: “Sir, due to your use of profanity and racial slurs, we’re going to have to terminate the call. If you need further assistance, then you are welcome to call back once more. However such language will not be tolerated.” *ends call*

(About half an hour later, Client’s manager called back wanting to know why the tech [me] hung up on him and refused to assist as per our contract. While I didn’t take the call, I overheard when he was transferred to the Level Two tech from before. The last thing I remember hearing was the manager screaming through the phone “He said WHAT!?” followed by yelling at someone on the other end of the line. Ended up only taking about fifteen minutes to walk the manager through the problem.)

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Got A Chip On Their Shoulder About Using The Chip

| USA | At The Checkout, Technology

(Our chain began using a credit/debit card chip-reader before Christmas, but since most other companies are not yet equipped, a lot of our customers haven’t gotten the hang of it yet.)

Me: “Is that a chipped card, sir? Just slide it into that slot at the bottom, below the number buttons.”

Him: *slightly rude or annoyed tone* “I know how it works!”

Me: *in my head, with a mental smirk* “Then why did you insert the wrong end of your card?”

My Oh My Documents

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(We have a self-service computer in the store, in which customers can pay per minute to check their email, browse the web, and print or scan files.)

Customer: “I need help scanning; I don’t know what I’m doing.”

(I show her how to scan.)

Me: “And then when it’s done, it’ll just save the file to ‘My Documents’, and that’s where you can get it from when you attach it to your email.”

Customer: “‘My Documents’!? Well I already have it saved there!”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “I have it saved at home in ‘My Documents’ so I don’t even have to scan it!”

Me: “Yes, you do. If it’s saved at home, you won’t be able to get it here.”

Customer: “Why did you tell me that I could, then?”

Me: “I didn’t. I said it would save the file to ‘My Documents’. That’s just a folder on the computer.”

Customer: “Yes, but I have ‘My Documents’ at home, too, so it’s already saved!”

Me: “No. There is a ‘My Documents’ on everyone’s computer. You can’t open the files on your computer, from this one.”

A Far Away State Of Mind

| USA | Bizarre, Technology

(I work as a customer service representative for a catalog ordering company.)

Me: “My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: *in a southern accent, with a shocked and confused tone of voice starts talking loudly through what must be a defective telephone* “You sound so far away! I can barely hear you! Are you far away?”

(I have an idea in the back of my mind what she really means but I just don’t believe it, so I give her the benefit of the doubt with my answer.)

Me: *wearing a headset* “No, my mouth is close to the phone.”

Customer: “No! I mean I live in Arkansas. Where do you live? Is it far away?”

Me: *deadpan* “I live in [Other State].”

Customer: *now settled and no longer confused, but still in a state of shock and speaking loudly* “OH! No wonder you sound so far away! [Other State] is very far away from Arkansas.”

Me: *face-palm* “Okay, well, how may I help you today, ma’am?”

(I finished the call without another incident.)

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