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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Don’t Answer Machine Back

| Omaha, NE, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “How may I help you, sir?”

Customer: “I want your voice mail service turned off now!”

Me: “Let me take a look… your voice mail is deactivated already, sir.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t! I came home today and my phone said I had one message!”

Me: “Does your phone have an answering machine, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, it does! What does that have to do with anything!?! You never turned off your voice mail and now my phone says I have a message!”

Me: “It’s on your answering machine, sir.”

Customer: “And how did it get there?! Out of thin air?!”

Me: “No, sir, someone called you and left a message on the answering machine.”

Customer: “My a** they did!” *click*

Netflix And Won’t Chill

| Omaha, NE, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Popular, Technology

Me: “How may I help you today?”

Female Customer: “I was trying to watch something on demand and it would go through. Why is that?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, there is an outage for your area for that service at the moment.”

Female Customer: “How the h*** is that supposed to help me? I want a forty dollar credit on my account.”

Me: “Well I would be glad to credit you for the day of service for the inconvenience.”

Female Customer: “Listen here, you son of a b****! I want a forty dollar credit because this is ruining my night. Do you have any idea how much I want to watch my shows?”

Me: “I understand and apologize, ma’am, but there are a lot of people affected by this issue at the moment. You’re not the only one and we can’t give everyone a forty dollar credit.”

Female Customer: “I don’t give a d***! This is my night to watch my shows. My account is more important than theirs! You can handle them on your own time!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you want I can credit you for the day and then if you like I can send a field technician out to you tomorrow after the outage to make sure your services are working fine.”

Female Customer: “Whatever! Just give me the credit! How much is it?”

Me: “Five dollars.”

Female Customer: “Was that so hard?”

(I should add that I may have “forgotten” to tell her about the charge for the technician.)

They Lost The Game

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(Customer comes up to the counter with a Nintendo Amiibo figure of Sonic.)

Customer: “Hi, do you know which games this figure is compatible with?”

Me: *pulls up a list* “It works with Super Smash Bros for Wii U and 3DS, Super Mario Maker, and Mario Kart 8.”

Customer: “What about Sonic Generations?”

Me: “Sorry, that game is on the Xbox 360; Amiibo figures only work on the Nintendo WiiU and New 3DS.”

Customer: “Well, I have a portable NFC reader.”

Me: “Again, that only works on the 3DS or 2DS.”

Customer: “I don’t see any reason why it wouldn’t work on my Xbox 360.”

Me: “The Xbox 360 and Nintendo Wii U/3DS are made by totally different companies.”

Customer: “But they’re both video game consoles.”

Me: *takes a deep breath* “Sir, the Xbox 360 is made by Microsoft and the Wii U and 3DS are both made by Nintendo. Microsoft and Nintendo don’t work together on game consoles and the two consoles don’t even play the same games.”

Customer: “But I’ve seen Sonic on both consoles.”

Me: “Yes, but Sonic Generations has never been on a Nintendo console, let alone the WiiU or 3DS. Even if it was, there’s no guarantee the Sonic amiibo would work with it.”

(Customer has blank stare.)

Customer: “Wait, what if I put the Sonic Generations disc in a Wii U?”

Me: “Nothing would happen.”

Customer: “Oh.” *walks away*

Me: “Next, please.”

(Another customer comes up to the counter with a copy of ‘Fallout 4’ for the Xbox One.)

Other Customer: “Does this work on mobile?”

Me: “Sorry, I’m going on break…”