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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

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Can’t Transfer Through Their Thick Skull

| Rogue River, OR, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology

(I am the receptionist for a company that sells moisture meters. When a customer calls, they get an automated message saying the name of the company and what we offer before they reach me.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. How may I direct your call?”

Caller: “Hi, I have a tree in my front yard that I need removed.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I believe you have the wrong number. We offer moisture meters for wood and concrete here.”

Caller: “Okay. Well can’t you just transfer me to someone who can help?”

Me: “I’m sorry but I don’t have anyone here that can help you. You’ll have to call a different company.”

Caller: “Okay. But can’t you just TRANSFER me to someone who can help.”

Me: “I don’t have any way of doing that.”

Caller: “Well, I have a tree in my yard that I need to have removed. Who do I need to call?”

Me: “I’m not sure because we sell moisture meters for wood and concrete here.”

Caller: “Well, do you know of a company that I can call?”

(Obviously this lady doesn’t understand that she’s called a business and I’m getting nowhere so I change the approach.)

Me: “Where are you located?”

Caller: *some city far away from where I am*

Me: “Okay, we’re located in Rogue River, Oregon, and I’m not familiar with your town so I don’t know who to direct you to.”

Caller: “OKAY. But can’t you just TRANSFER me to someone who can?!”

Me: “Ma’am. I am the receptionist for a company that sells moisture meters. I am not an operator that can direct you to any other number.”

Caller: “Ohhhhhhhhh. Okay. So then transfer me to the operator. Thank you!”

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Should Have Called Ahead For Duty

| Santa Ana, CA, USA | Technology

Me: *answering the phone* “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m looking for the game Call of Duty.”

Me: “Um… sure which one?”

Customer: “I don’t know! Black something!”

Me: “Oh Black Ops! For which console?”

Customer: “I DON’T KNOW! IT’S BLACK SOMETHING! NINTENDO!”

Me: “Okay, for the Wii or DS?”

Customer: “YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST, F*** YOU!” *hangs up*

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Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 24

| Jacksonville, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer walks in with a PSP he purchased recently from our store.)

Customer: “My PSP won’t connect to the Internet. Keeps giving me an error.”

Me: “Huh, weird. You have a good connection to your wifi right?”

Customer: “Wifi?”

Me: “Yeah, your wireless Internet. What’s the signal strength when you try to connect?”

(Customer looks at me like I’m from Mars.)

Me: “You do have Internet at home right?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Well, you need to have the Internet at home in order to be able to use the Internet.”

Customer: “I just thought the Internet came with the PSP when I bought it.”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 23
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 22
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 21