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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

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Not Scoring Any Extra Points

| UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’ve owned an Xbox for a while, and recently bought a PS3, so I go to a video game shop to get some points to spend on DLC – downloadable content)

Me: “Hi, do you sell the equivalent of Microsoft points for the PS3?”

Cashier: “Yes, we have PSN points. Can I just check that you have online access?”

Me: *confused* “Yes…”

Cashier: “Sorry, we have to ask now. Some customers have bought points when they don’t have online access.”

Me: “People really do that?”

Cashier: “Yeah, and then since it’s a code, we can’t do a refund when they bring it back.”

Me: “Wow.”

(I’m not sure where those customers thought they’d download the DLC from if they don’t have online access…)

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I Don’t Work Here, Repeatedly Does Not Work Here

| Jensen Beach, OR, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Technology

(I’m in town for a business meeting and I pop into an electronic store across the street from the hotel I’m staying in. I’m not wearing store colors or even the khakis and polo uniform, but I am dressed in business attire. I’m standing in the aisle looking at picking up a new video card when a woman approaches me with her young teen sons in tow.)

Mother: “Sir… Sir, can you tell me if this video card will be good enough to handle my son’s new game?”

Son: “It’s [Game].”

(I look around and realizing that all the staff in the area are busy I go ahead and take a look at the video card.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, if I remember the game’s requirements right, this video card will certainly do the trick, but I seem to have noticed that they have this one—” *I pick another one off the shelf* “–that is better and because it’s on sale, cheaper.”

(As she goes about her way, a second customer steps up to me.)

Other Customer: “Sir, I need help finding more RAM.”

(Seeing once again there is nobody around to help…)

Me: “Well, do you know what kind of RAM you’ll need?”

Other Customer: “Umm… no? Is there more than one kind?”

Me: “Yes and while they do carry RAM here, unless you know the model of your computer or better yet, motherboard, there’s no way to be sure you’re getting the right stuff.”

(She promises me she’ll get the computer’s model and come back later. This happens a couple more times and as I have literally nothing better to do and the store seems unusually busy, I go ahead and help them, never ONCE claiming to work there. This keeps on until a fifth person steps up at the same time a manager steps up to me.)

Customer: “So… I noticed you said ‘they.’ You don’t actually work here do you?”

(The manager speaks up before I can say anything.)

Manager: “No, he doesn’t but I feel like I should be slapping a polo on this guy. [Employee] over there will be happy to help you though.”

Manager: *to me* “So… you need a job?”

Me: “Hah, no, I’m only in town for business, I’m just looking at video cards to kill time.”

Manager: “Well, lemme know if you pick one out; we’ll give you the employee discount for today.”

(We both had a good chuckle about that but when I checked out, true to his word, the guy stopped the sales clerk to make sure I got the employee discount.)

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 22
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 21
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 20

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Doesn’t Even Read In Their Sleep

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer calls me over to the self-serve area.)

Customer: “Excuse me!? Doesn’t this thing work?”

Me: “Yes, of course it does.”

Customer: “Well the screen’s black and I’m pressing start and nothing’s happening.”

Me: “Did you press the ‘on’ button?”

Customer: “No. It should already be on! It’s not my job to turn it on!”

Me: “It is on; the copiers just go into sleep mode after a little while. The ‘on’ button wakes them up.”

(I point to the GIANT sign on the front of the copier that explains this while I talk to her.)

Customer: “Oh, are you kidding me? I don’t read things.”

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Going Totally Off The Wire(less)

| TX, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Technology

(Guest calls down having issues with the Wi-Fi; his tablet can’t find our network. After explaining the code, he comes down to the desk all upset.)

Me: “Good evening. How are you today?”

Guest: “Frustrated, I can’t log on to the Wi-Fi. I’ve been trying all day and I just can’t! I want to check out! I’ve missed so much work already!”

Me: *noting it’s after five, I try to convince him to stay otherwise he will be charged an additional night* “Would you like to try moving to another room where the connection is stronger?”

Guest: “No, I can’t be sure that it will work there so I don’t want to bother.”

(After going back and forth, he agrees to go see a room. I manage to successfully log him on the network.)

Me: “Did you want to move here, sir?”

Guest: “No, I just want to check out!”

Me: “Okay, but I’m going to have to charge you for tonight, since you checked out after five.”

Guest: “Oh, that is ridiculous. How can you charge me if you didn’t even provide a basic service!”

Me: “But I did. Your [Tablet] logged on to the network, and I offered to move you at no charge.”

Guest: *irate* “No, you didn’t provide me a basic service. I have to pay for another hotel and you want to charge me? Oh, I will be writing you a bad review!”

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Napkin To The Future

| USA | Bizarre, Technology

(I am ringing up a customer and they are handing me their cash, when a college girl walks up next to them to grab a napkin from the empty napkin holder near the register.)

College Girl: *leans over to napkin holder* “Napkin.”

Me: *blank stare at girl*

College Girl: *as she’s leaned over speaking into the empty napkin container* “Napkin.”

(The customer, handing me their cash, blankly stares at the college girl.)

Me: *grabs another napkin container and gives her a napkin*

College Girl: “Oh, I thought it was voice recognition.”

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