Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Technology

(My store often offers promotions where if you buy two of certain items, you get a free $5 store gift card. Due to how our system works, the gift card has to be scanned to activate it. A customer comes up to me at the service desk, complaining that she’s been charged for the free gift card.)

Customer: “The sign said if I bought these two products, I’d get a free gift card. But the cashier charged me for the card!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Can I see your receipt? I’ll try to get this straightened out.”

(I look at her receipt, and she hasn’t been charged. It says:)

-Gift Card $5

-Free Promotion -$5

-Promo total $0

(I explain this to her, pointing out where the negative number cancels out the card amount.)

Customer: “…Well, I guess I wasn’t charged. But I’m still going to ask my husband to double-check this when I get home. This would be so much easier if you just gave people the card without scanning it!”

Me: “But ma’am, as I said, if it wasn’t scanned it wouldn’t activate, and you’d be given an empty card.”

Customer: “Well, that’s your problem, isn’t it?!”

(She finally leaves and another customer comes up.)

Customer #2: “Let me guess… that happens way more often than it should.”

Me: “You have no idea…”

Taxing Faxing, Part 17

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology

(After finishing up a call with a customer…)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “You know, you don’t have to send out things via the post. It’s such a waste of paper and trees.”

Me: “Fair enough.”

Customer: “So, I was thinking you could fax them. Is that okay?”

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 16
Taxing Faxing, Part 15
Taxing Faxing, Part 14

Problem Solving Revolving

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Technology

(We have a tech-support line but no dedicated support people, so all us techs take turns answering it. It is my turn.)

Me: “[Store], support. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, can you help me with… never mind. I figured it out. Thanks, bye!”

Me: *turns to the next tech in rotation* “Next one’s yours!”

THIS STORY HAS YET TO BE TITLED

| Chattanooga, TN, USA | Geeks Rule, Technology

(There’s an R2-D2 toy on display in the middle of the store. A customer walks up and opens up one of the hatches on it.)

R2-D2: “Beep boop.”

Customer: “Oh, sorry.” *closes the hatch*

R2-D2: “Beep boop.”

Customer: “You’re welcome.”

 

Dear readers! You’ll notice that this story doesn’t have a title. That is because we’d like to invite you to come up with a suggestion of your own in the comments below. It can be witty, punny, surreal, anything you want – just keep it PG please! The funniest suggestion will become the title of the story. Good luck!

Don’t Answer Machine Back

| Omaha, NE, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “How may I help you, sir?”

Customer: “I want your voice mail service turned off now!”

Me: “Let me take a look… your voice mail is deactivated already, sir.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t! I came home today and my phone said I had one message!”

Me: “Does your phone have an answering machine, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, it does! What does that have to do with anything!?! You never turned off your voice mail and now my phone says I have a message!”

Me: “It’s on your answering machine, sir.”

Customer: “And how did it get there?! Out of thin air?!”

Me: “No, sir, someone called you and left a message on the answering machine.”

Customer: “My a** they did!” *click*