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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Upgrade Degrade

| USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work at a web hosting company where we have several levels of packages. Customer is currently on a server with hundreds of others and is trying to set up an account with a username that is already taken.)

Customer: “I can’t use this username; it says it’s already in use.”

Me: “Let me take a look and see what’s going on.”

(I check. Sure enough, someone else on the server is using the username already.)

Me: “I do apologize, but there is someone on the server already using that username. You will have to use another.”

Customer: “I guess I’ll just have to upgrade to a dedicated server.”

(A dedicated is a server with no other users, but is also 10 times the price.)

Me: “You don’t have to upgrade. Simply use another username. You can always just add a 1 to the end of it, that will work.”

Customer: “No, thanks. I knew I’d have to upgrade eventually.”

Me: “No problem. Was there anything else I could do for you today?”

Customer: “Let me talk to your manager. I can’t believe you’re making me upgrade! This is ridiculous!”

About To Have A Fire Sale

| Clovis, NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work in a call center doing tech support for a well known fast food chain. A coworker is the one that actually took this call. They were complaining about a piece of equipment that functions as a surge protector and battery backup for the computers that run the store.)

Caller: “My [piece of equipment] is smoking.”

Coworker: “Sir, I need you to unplug everything from it and move everything away from it until it cools down.”

Caller: “But that will bring down our store! I’ll do it later when we slow down or after closing.”

Coworker: “Sir, you realize it could burst into flames and burn down your store, right?”

Caller: “And? We are busy!”

Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 11

| AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Technology

Customer: *storms into the store, tosses his phone at me* “D*** thing doesn’t work!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir.” *picks phone up* “What seems to be wrong with it?”

Customer: “It’s broken. Doesn’t work.”

Me: “Well, I understand that, sir, but what is or isn’t it doing?”

Customer: “It won’t let me log into my email. It’s broken. Fix it or get me another one.”

Me: “Well, sir… Is it possible you just put in the wrong password?”

Customer: “No. No, that ISN’T possible. I put in the password the way I always do.”

Me: “Well, let’s do this then, sir.” *I pull out my own phone* “I know my phone works. I’ll log out of my email on here, and you can try logging into it on mine.”

(The customer tries to log in on my phone, and it doesn’t work.)

Me: *smiles* “Now then, sir, either you just broke my phone, in which case I’ll need you to replace it, or you just forgot your email, and I can help you reset your password.”

Customer: *grumbling* “Let’s reset the d*** password, then.”

Related:
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 10
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 9
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 8