Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Common Sense Isn’t In The Cards

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a grocery store that has a club card for ‘extra’ savings. Two customers come up with a six-case of wine. I ring them up.)

Me: “Ma’am, do you have a club card?”

Customer #1: “What is this?! You are charging me too much! Fix it!”

Me: “If you just swipe your club card, the price will drop. Do you have one?”

Customer #1: “You are overcharging me! Give me my money!”

Me: *calmly* “Do you have a club card?”

Customer #1: “I said give me the correct price NOW!”

Me: “Ma’am, you need to put in your club card number for the discount. Do you have—”

Customer #2: “Listen, girl, just give us the correct price!” *begins screaming in unison with friend*

Me: *being interrupted every other word* “I cannot give it to you without a club card. Would you like to sign up for one?”

(Eventually, I beckon my manager over and end up using one of our spare cards to show them the discount. He smoothes things over, but not before one of them tells him that I should be more polite. He pulls me aside to ask what happened.)

Me: “They wouldn’t let me even explain that they needed a club card for their discount.”

Boss: “Well, next time, just swipe it. And remember, just because you and I have common sense doesn’t mean they do.”

A Text In The Wrong Direction

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “Could you tell me how to get to [attraction in another area of the park]?”

Me: *gives detailed directions to the attraction*

Customer: “I’m sorry. I got a text while you were talking. Could you repeat that?”

Their Intelligence Is Capped

| USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “Your password isn’t working on this computer!”

Me: “Really? That’s weird. Everyone else seems to have logged in just fine.”

Customer: “Well, it’s not working for me and I need you to fix it.”

Me: “All right. I’ll see what I can do.”

(I walk over to my computer and double check to make sure I have the password right when it comes to me what the problem is.)

Customer: “Well?”

(I glance at his keyboard and sure enough, caps lock has been turned on. I press the caps lock key and start walking back to my desk.)

Customer: “Oh…”

Upend The Send

| OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(Our branch has just got a new drive through carrier system. The old system had canisters that opened the long way by flipping open but this new system has canisters that open by twisting the ends. All of the employees have been talking customers through the difference all week.)

Me: “Hello. How are you doing today?”

Customer: “How do I open this canister?!”

Me: “It is different than the old canisters. These canisters open by twisting the ends. Once you’re set, send it in and I can get that taken care of for you.”

Customer: “Well, how do I send it in?”

Me: “Press ‘send,’ sir.”

Customer: *dinging call button* “What does this ‘call teller’ button do?”

Me: “It calls a teller, sir.”

Customer: *dinging call button* “I put it in there, why won’t it go?”

Me: “Press ‘send,’ sir.”

Customer: *dinging call button* “It won’t go!”

Me: “You’re pushing call…”

Customer: “Why?!”

Me: “Uh…”

Having A Multiple Light-Bulb Moment

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bigotry, Technology, Transportation

(I am the manager at a very busy convenience store that also sells fuel. One particularly quiet afternoon, a customer pulls up and starts to remove every single light bulb from his car. I watch for a little while then go outside to see if I can be of any help.)

Me: “G’day. A problem with your lights?”

Customer: “Yeah, they all stopped working so I need new ones. You sell bulbs don’t you?”

Me: “Yes, we do, but instead of removing them all may I make a suggestion?”

Customer: “You? I doubt it, love. Girls don’t know anything about cars.”

Me: *not the first time I have heard this* “No problem, I’ll be inside when you need the globes.”

(The customer removes every light globe, indicator globe and even all the internal globes, puts them in a bag and comes inside to the counter.)

Customer: “I’ll have one of each of these.”

Me: “No problem.”

(I proceed to get all of the globes he needed, including the not so cheap headlight globes. He pays for them, totaling approximately $45, and then goes back to his car and spends the next hour or so putting them in, with me watching from inside with a huge smile on my face. After he installs them all, he turns on the car, tries the lights, and none of them work. By this stage I have let it go far enough, so I grab a $0.45 blade fuse, go to his car, pop the bonnet, change the fuse, got him to try his lights, and wouldn’t you know it? They all now worked!)

Customer: “…”

Me: “Have a great day!*

(Then I skipped back inside!)

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