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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Not The Most Gifted

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

Me: “Yes, the iPads are on sale right now, and you get a $40 gift card with them as well.”

Customer: “What do I do with that?”

Me: “Um, you buy things with it.”

Customer: “Oh, ya?”

Ahead Of The Game

| St. John's, NL, Canada | Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers, Technology

(We sell console games in addition to groceries in a more-or-less rough part of town, and our policy is unopened games can be returned with a receipt within 14 days from purchase.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this game.”

Me: *checks seal on game* “Seal is in check, so I just need your receipt.”

Customer: “I’ve got no receipt. But I just want to exchange this for some groceries now.”

Me: “Sorry. Without a receipt I have to get authorization on these big ticket items from a manager.”

Customer: “It’s only a game. It’s not even that big.”

Me: “No, but the price tag is. It comes to almost $90, so I need a manager authorization.”

(My manager and I check the UPC in our system, and he sees that we received six copies of the game, and there is six on the shelf right now, and the system shows no sales since it arrived.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that game wasn’t bought at this store. Perhaps it was a different store you bought it at?”

Customer: “No, it was right here. I bet you it was the cashier just took my money and put it in her pocket when I left. Didn’t even scan it.”

Me: “Did you get a receipt?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I lost it.”

Me: “If you got a receipt, the cashier couldn’t have stolen your money. We received in six copies of this game, and there is six in our case. And we haven’t sold any at this location since it arrived.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want my money back. I just want groceries.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but without a receipt showing purchase from this location, I cannot give you any sort of refund or exchange.”

Customer: “I’ll be back later to get a refund on this, then. Bunch a thieves.”

Manager: *to me after he leaves* “What was the game called he was trying to get off with?”

Me: “You’ll get a kick out of this: ‘Thief.’

The Great Customer Disconnect

| Mexico | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’ve been with no TV since this morning. I want to know what the f*** is happening with your service!”

Me: “I really apologize about this issue, sir. I will be more than happy to help you by troubleshooting your system. Would you please verify if your TV is connected to the source?”

Customer: “Do you think I am stupid? I would not be calling if the TV is disconnected and— never mind.”

(The customer hung up. No further explanations.)