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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Not As Quick As Lightning

| LA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work at an AM radio station, and we have just suffered a lightning hit at the tower which knocked us off the air. Then the phone rings:)

Listener: “Hey, I don’t hear anything on my radio!”

Me: “Yeah, we got knocked off by lightning.”

Listener: “Well, why don’t you make an announcement?”

A CPU And A Very Fast Drive

| NY, USA | Technology, Transportation

(In the mid 1990s my friend has a new CPU on the way to his house and is a little too eager to get it installed. He calls the dispatcher of the delivery company. The dispatcher tells him the driver is making an exchange with another driver and he can meet them there. My friend drives out to the exchange site.)

Driver: “Aren’t you the guy my driver just called about 10 minutes ago?”

Friend: “Yes.”

Driver: “Your house is a 30 minute drive from here.”

Friend: “Yes.”

Driver: “You made a 30 minute drive in 10 minutes?”

Friend: “Yes.”

Driver: “Have you ever considered becoming a driver for us?”

Pretend You Weren’t Listening

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem, Technology

(I work in an electronics store and we sell speakers and sound bars for TVs. We sometimes sell our display units if we are out of stock. One of my coworkers has been talking to a customer about one for ages, but since he is about to leave, he says the customer is happy with it and asks me to pack it up for him. The customer has been watching me struggle with the packaging for about five minutes.)

Customer: “Thanks for packing that up for me; that looked like it was a hard one to do.”

(I’m currently putting tape over the box, sealing it in there.)

Me: “Yeah, it was. You get used to doing it while working, but sometimes it’s particularly difficult. I’m glad I FINALLY got it in though; sorry for taking so long.”

Customer: “That’s fine. Can I have a listen to it now?”

Me: “…”