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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Dishing Out The Cold Truth

| UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

(It’s been snowing steadily all day. Still, customers come to shop for electronics and ask stupid questions.)

Customer: “I bought [Satellite TV Service] here, but I’m having trouble with it. Can you help?”

Me: “I usually handle computer questions, not TV questions, but I can try. What’s going on?”

Customer: “The channels just aren’t coming through right. They’re all pixelated, and they keep cutting out, and sometimes there’s nothing to see or hear at all.”

Me: “That’s not good. When did it start?”

Customer: “This morning.”

Me: “I haven’t heard of any problems from [Satellite TV Provider]. I’m guessing that it has something to do with the snowstorm. The snow could be interfering with your signal, especially if some has accumulated in the dish of your receiver.”

Customer: “Can you check?”

Me: “Can I check what?”

Customer: “Can you get on your computer and check to see if I have snow on my dish?”

Me: “…no, I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “The store computers don’t have access to information about whether a person’s satellite dish has snow in it. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Well, how can I find out?”

Me: “You could try going home and looking at it…”

You Can Do It, Put Your Butt In To It

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Movies & TV, Rude & Risque, Technology

(I work at a call center for a satellite TV company. I am speaking with a male customer who speaks in a slightly feminine voice.)

Customer: “I need credit for this movie I ordered.”

Me: “Was something wrong with the movie, sir?”

Customer: “No. But I didn’t mean to order it. I just sat on my remote and it ordered the movie.”

(I hear a voice in the background similar to the customer’s voice.)

Background Voice: “You always did have a talented butt.”

Heed The Words Of Wisdom

| WA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(Our libraries offer self-checkout stations in addition to staff-assisted checkout. The self-check consists of a touch-screen monitor and barcode scanner. Using the scanner can take some practice. If it doesn’t get the entire item barcode an error message appears on the monitor. There are also several other error messages a customer can get regarding late fees, exceeding the checkout limit, etc. Because the monitors face customers and not the staff, we don’t know what error someone has unless we run around the counter to look. Some customers aren’t great at articulating which error message they’ve received or for asking for assistance at all.)

Customer: *scans an item* “There. Are. Words.”

Me: “I’m sorry? Did you get an err—”

Customer: “THERE ARE WORDS ON THE SCREEN!”

Me: “Let’s take a look. It’s asking you to tap the ‘OK’ button and scan the item again because it misread the barcode.”

Customer: *she jabs at the screen and re-scans the item aggressively*

Me: “Yay, it worked!”

Customer: *grunts and walks away*

Coworker: “If she couldn’t handle reading the screen, how will she manage with the book she’s checked out?”