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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 16

| Croatia | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Good evening. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *shouting* “Your data USB stick is garbage!”

(She continues to rant: It doesn’t work! You ripped me off! I’m going to report you!)

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that; could you tell me what the problem is?”

Customer: “It doesn’t work! I am a well educated woman and know how to use the computer and your device is trash!”

(I proceed with a step by step troubleshooting with her, and she continues shouting the whole time, and keeps repeating how she is smart and stuff like that. Meanwhile, every check I ask her to do on her computer fails, and she yells even more. Finally, in all this noise coming from her, I hear something like, ‘stupid device, I’ll throw it off the table!’)

Me: “Miss, where is your USB stick right now?”

Customer: “What kind of question is that?! It’s on the table!”

Me: “Is it inserted in your computers USB port?”

Customer: “Of course not! You clearly don’t know how to use it! It says wireless on the box!”

Me: “Miss, do you see any wires coming from the device?”

Customer: “Um… no.”

Me: “Do you know what wireless means?”

Customer: *silence*

Me: “I’m gonna assume that’s a no, so pick up the device and plug it in your computer!”

(I heard the computer start to execute installation, as our software plays a melody while installing, and then the line disconnected.)

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 15
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 14
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 13

All Smoke, No Mirrors

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Technology

(A guest I checked in less than two hours ago is walking up to the front desk with all her luggage, ready to leave.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Guest: “I want to check out!”

Me: “Is everything all right? I see you are checking out early.”

Guest: “I don’t want to talk about it; I want a receipt stating that I have a zero balance.”

Me: “All right, one moment. Let me get your receipt out of the back. My printer is down.”

(I come back a few seconds later with her receipt.)

Me: “Are you sure everything is all right? You seem upset and I don’t want you leaving upset.”

Guest: “Yes, actually, you can tell your people I do not appreciate them recording me while I am sleeping!”

Me: “I’m sorry, what do you mean?”

Guest: “There was a little red light flashing above my bed!”

Me: “Oh! You mean the smoke detector. That isn’t a recording device.”

Guest: “You don’t think I know the difference between a smoke detector and a recording device?! I know that if there is a blinking red that means the camera is on and recording! So please delete any footage you have of me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am really sorry. I promise you we do not have recording devices in our guests rooms. It honestly was a smoke detector.”

Guest: “IT WAS NOT A SMOKE DETECTOR!”

To Hang Up Would Be Poetic Justice

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I’m working the closing shift in the electronics department, which is in charge of video games and the photo lab in addition to the actual electronics section. We’re currently running an upgrade on our photo lab’s software, and I’m expecting a call from corporate to check up on the progress of the upgrade. An outside call comes in on my phone. It’s not corporate but a male customer who sounds perfectly normal. I am also male.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, what’s the price on your Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare?”

Me: “I can check on that for you. I think it’s $59.99, but I’ll be able to confirm that for you in just a second…”

(As I’m walking over to the video game section, the customer begins reading me some of the most bizarre, suggestive, awful love poetry you’ve ever heard and starts making advances. I assume he wrote the poetry himself. This freaks me out, and I end the call immediately and call my team leader to let her know what had just happened.)

Me: “Hey, if you hear that I just disconnected a call, I did. Some guy called and started reading me poetry.”

(My team leader hears this and starts cracking up.)

Team Leader: “What? You should’ve transferred that call to me! I would’ve had fun with the guy!”

(‘Poetry Guy’ became an inside joke around the store. Every time I got a call from another one of my coworkers that night, they ‘read’ me poetry!)