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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Upside Down Line

| SC, USA | Bizarre, Technology

(I work at an allergist’s office. This afternoon I got an unusual call.)

Me: “[Doctor]’s office, can I help you?”

Caller: “mmhmfffmfffmnmumblemumble”

Me: “I’m having a hard time understanding you. I think there might be some kind of interference on the line.”

Caller: “…I’m holding the phone the wrong side up again, aren’t I?”

High On Siridipity

| Belleville, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Technology

(I am working as a tech support agent for a major tech company, enjoying the slow part of the day, when a call comes it. It starts off normal enough, but gets strange rather quickly.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Tech Company]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, man, my device won’t stop talking to me.”

Me: *can hear Siri talking in the background* “All right, I can certainly see what I can do to help you out with that.”

(I pull up his device’s information and see that it has no extended warranty, just the complimentary 90-day time period that is about to run out.)

Me: “All right, sir. Before we begin, would you be interested in purchasing our extended warranty?”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: *explain the details of the extended warranty*

Customer: “Yeah, man, sounds good if I need it to stop her from talking.”

Me: “Er… well, you don’t need it right now, but it’s a good idea to have it.”

Customer: “If I need it for today, go ahead and set it up, man. I just… I just want to kill her so she’ll stop talking.”

(It is at this point I realize that the customer is rather high.)

Me: “Er… did you just say you want to kill Siri?”

Customer: “Yeah, man. She won’t shut up. I want to kill her.”

Me: “You mean turn her off?”

Customer: “No, I want to kill her.”

Me: “O-Okay, tell you what. You stay on the line. I’ll get my senior advisor on the line. He’s better suited to help you with this… situation.”

Customer: “Okay, man. Whatever you say.”

(I grabbed one of my senior advisors and explained the situation to him. He started laughing. I told him I was looking forward to reading the notes on the call and transferred the customer on over. I looked back at the notes later and they went as follows.)

Notes:

-Customer transferred over to me.

-Customer states that he wants to kill Siri.

-Suggest that we shut off Siri; attempt to guide customer through the steps.

-Customer has trouble following my steps.

-Customer proudly proclaims that Siri is now speaking Finnish.

-Recommend to Customer that we change Siri’s language back to English.

-Customer not willing to cooperate, wants to kill Siri.

-Recommend that he sleep the rest of the night and give us a call back the next morning.

Trying To Explain It In Black And White

, | OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer walks in with a black & white document.)

Me: “Do you need some copies made today?”

Customer: “Yes, please. I need 20 of these, black & white.”

(I make her copies and walk back to the counter.)

Customer: “Can you make 10 in color, too, please?”

Me: “Sure, you just need them on the brighter, heavier paper that we use in the color machine?”

Customer: *stares at me like I have two heads* “NO, so that they’re in COLOR.”

Me: “You mean you want it to look like it did on the computer screen before you printed these in black?”

Customer: *frustrated* “YES!”

Me: “No color machine in the world is capable of restoring color from a black and white copy.”

Customer: “Whatever.”

(Thank goodness the customer behind her was laughing at her because I was certainly about to!)