icon_technology

Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Only Generating Contempt

| UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work for an IT company that provides 24 hour support for several big buildings. As you can imagine it gets very quiet at night with a lot of down time. The only problem is that the calls come from customers who, putting it kindly, don’t have social skills. I received a call around three am.)

Me: “Welcome to [Company] support desk. You are speaking to [My Name]. How can I help you this morning?”

Customer: “Hi, this is [Location]. None of our computers are working, our servers are all down, and our phone lines. Everything is down and we need it back up and running in the next ten minutes or I will be forced to have you fired.”

Me: *concerned and shocked* “How many computers are affected and how many phones are affected?”

Customer: “ALL OF THEM. About fifty computers and the same amount of phones are not working. You have nine and a half minutes to get it working.”

Me: *now disinterested* “How many people are working in the building right now?”

Customer: “There is me, two security guards, and a couple of men replacing the generators. That’s nine minutes.”

Me: “Sir, silly question but I have to ask this but has the power been turned off to the building by the engineers working on site?”

(The customer started breathing heavily down the phone, leaving the building and walking outside. I could hear the customer start shouting to the engineer to turn on the power while using a curse word every chance he could. I could hear in the distance the workmen stop what they were doing, obvious not liking being called offensive names, and start chasing after the man down the street. The man while out of breath asked for me to call the cops as his life was in danger. I hung up and went back to sleep.)

Your Connection Is Totally Forked

| Norway | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Technology

(I work at a call center for an Internet provider. This winter we have particularly bad weather. There has just been a huge thunderstorm over the west side of the country, frying both slams and modems all over. The call center is overloaded due to all the calls, and every time I get a new call I know the caller will spend the first 10 minutes complaining about the wait… which only makes the wait for other customers longer.)

Me: “Welcome to [Internet Provider]. Thank you for calling. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you today?”

Caller: *eerily cheery* “Oh, you sound nice! I’m so glad you decided to talk to me!”

Me: *not sure if this person is being sarcastic or not* “Um… Thanks? What can I do for you?”

Caller: *all of a sudden sounds very normal* “Oh, yeah. I kinda have a problem. You see, there is something wrong with my line. You know, into the house. And I’ve kinda fixed it myself, but now with all these storms, I’m not sure it will be good enough. So if there is any chance you could get a tech out and fix it before the next storm hits, that would be very much appreciated.”

Me: *happy this has turned into such a normal and nice call* “Sure! I’ll put in an order for a tech right now! But, just for the record, please note that we do not encourage people to fix their own lines… It could be quite a fire hazard.”

(I go ahead and get the usual info. Address, when the person is available, type of line etc. Everything seems normal.)

Me: “Okay, so just one more question. Do you know what caused damage to the line?”

Caller: “Well, it happened in another storm. In 1645!”

Me: “Excuse me?!”

Caller: “Yes! The big storm of 1645! It came loose from the connection point in my house because of the wind! And lightning! But I fixed it! With a fork!”

Me: “You… fixed it. With… a fork.”

Caller: *excited* “YES! But the fork is rusty now. It would be nice if you fixed it!”

Me: *defeated* “Sure. Why not.”

(I make a note of the whole stupid story in the tech’s order, send it on it’s way, and think no more of it. Two days later, a tech calls in and asks to talk to me. I get the call transferred.)

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. You wanted to talk to me?”

Tech: *super excited* “THERE REALLY WAS A FORK!”

The Request Is Not Relative To The Situation

| UK | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I work in the admissions office.)

Caller: “Can you email me to confirm that I’ve paid the deposit?”

Me: “No problem. I’ll do it as soon as I get off the phone.”

Caller: “It’s very urgent…”

Me: “Okay, just give me a second… Right, I just wrote you an email and I’m sending it now.”

Caller: “Can I get it sooner? I don’t have much time.”

Me: “Sooner than now?”

Caller: “Yes, please.”