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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Logged Too Many Logins

| England, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

(This happens far too regularly.)

Me: “Hello, [Company]. How may I help?”

Customer: “Hello I would like to know how to [generic query].”

Me: “Okay, from [screen], open [other screen], and select [option].”

Customer: “Oh, hang on. Let me get to a computer and log in.”

Playstation Depreciation

| NH, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(It’s near the end of my first day on the job and I’m still apprehensive. A customer calls the store and the manager picks up.)

Manager: “Yes, sir, we do have PS2 games, but they’re so old that they’re actually not in our system anymore; they’re just permanently marked down and sitting in the bins. The only way we could find a specific one for you is if we physically searched through each one.”

(Pause.)

Manager: “No, sir. As I said, we do have them but if you want a specific one, you would have to find it yourself in our bins. I’m sorry, but those games are very old and as I said, the specific titles are just not in our system anymore.”

(Another pause, and I actually hear the customer screaming “YOU JUST LOST MY BUSINESS!” over the phone.)

Manager: “Yes, sir, I’m sure I’ll cry myself to sleep about those lost 50 cents. Have a good night!”

(I was significantly less apprehensive about the job after that.)

Laptop Flop, Part 7

| England, UK | Crazy Requests, Money, Technology

Me: “How can I help?”

Customer: “I need to buy a computer. I don’t want you to sell me insurance or anything else, just the computer.”

Me: “What will you be using it for?”

Customer: “I need to use ‘The Google,’ and some word processing. I’ve been told by my technical friend it needs two ‘tetrabites’ and at least eight ‘jiggabites.'”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “I think you mean terabytes and gigabytes.”

Customer: “Yes, I am well aware of what I need.”

Me: “For the things you are using it for, I don’t think you will need those specifications. You might end up spending a lot of money and not make full advantage of the machine. You could get a cheaper machine and spend more money on attachments.”

Customer: “No, I know what I need; my friend told me.”

Me: *politely* “Is your friend a technician?”

Customer: “No, he’s a decorator.”

Me: “Right.” *shows customer to a computer that matches her specifications, priced £899*

Customer: “That’s too expensive. I was hoping to spend £150 – £200.”

Me: “We have nothing that cheap. The lowest priced and most basic laptops start at £350.”

(The customer walked off, whilst muttering how customer service was terrible.)

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 6
Laptop Flop, Part 5
Laptop Flop, Part 4