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Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

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Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 15

| WY, USA | Technology

(I’m a manager at a large wireless cell phone provider. One of my employees is at the door.)

Employee: “Welcome to [Store]. How I can help you?”

Guest: “Yes, do you guys have a phone book?”

Employee: “No, but I can look up a number for you as long as it is not listed in the white pages.”

Guest: “I need the number for [Local Pizza Place].”

Employee: *pulls out his smart phone and searches number* “The number is [number]. Would you like me to write that down for you?”

Guest: “No, I’ll just save it in my phone.” *pulls out her smart phone and enters the number* “Thank you so much! Do you just have all those numbers saved in your phone?”

Employee: “Uh… no, I looked it up on Google.”

Guest: “You mean to tell me I could have looked it up on my phone? I drove all the way to the mall for no reason?” *starts yelling* “WHY DIDN’T THEY TELL ME I COULD USE MY PHONE LIKE THAT?!”

Employee: “I’m sorry, miss. I can show you how…”

Guest: “Oh, never mind! I have to get home to order pizza for delivery!” *storms out of store*

Me: “Well, that was interesting.”

Employee: “Good thing we keep all those numbers saved in our phones!”

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Adobe Photo-Flop

, | Birmingham, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Popular, Technology

(A user calls up as they do not know how to use Photoshop, despite being offered training originally.)

User: “This program is stupid. Why do I need all these buttons and functions?”

Me: “The program is a piece of professional software that is very high end, used for magazines and movie posters.”

User: “I just want to resize my dolphin photos!”

Me: “Well, first, you will need to open the photo concerned, then go to—“

User: “I haven’t got time for that! I just want these dolphin photos resized!”

Me: “You were offered training on this software when it was purchased.”

User: “I don’t have time to sit around doing training! I just want the software to do what I want it to do without clicking all of these buttons!”

Me: “I can talk you through the steps. Do you need to get a pen to write this down?”

User: “No. I am not messing around with this software any more! I have work to do! You ring Adobe and tell them I want this changed NOW.”

Me: “You want me to call Adobe and tell them to change their multi million dollar software because you don’t like it?”

User: “Yes! Let me know when they’ve done it!”

(The user hung up and I was left speechless. The user also chased it up to see if I had contacted them and if they had carried out the changes.)

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Getting Very Emojional About It

| CT, USA | Bigotry, Popular, Technology

(I’m a employee at an Apple store. I overhear a coworker and a black customer in his 20s speaking.)

Customer: “You are all racists. Y’all have no respect.”

Coworker: “I’m very sorry you’ve had a negative experience, sir. What leads you to say that?”

Customer: “I got my phone a week ago and it’s a racist piece of s***.” *looks around and notices that there’s a couple with a kid nearby* “Excuse my language, I don’t mean to make a scene. I’m just a little PO’d.”

Coworker: “May I ask what’s wrong with the phone?”

Customer: “Look! It doesn’t have black people!”

(He gets out his phone and taps to the emoji keyboard.)

Customer: “They got Chinese, Middle Eastern, even Russian! But there ain’t any black emoji people!”

Coworker: “Yeah, I see what you mean… I completely understand why you’d be upset. Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s anything we can do at this time.”

Customer: “Can’t y’all draw one and put it on the phone?”

Coworker: “Um… I don’t think that’s possible. Sorry, sir.”

Customer: “All right, sorry to bug you. Just thought it should come to y’all’s attention.”

(He made a good point!)