Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Black Friday Takes The Same Route Every Year

| OR, USA | Holidays, Technology

(I work at one of the largest retail chains in the US. It’s around 11 pm on Thanksgiving night, meaning it has already been Black Friday for five hours or so.)

Customer #1: *holding up a wireless router* “Hey, I thought this was the item I was looking for, but then I actually read the box. Do you mind if I just ditch it with you instead of wading through people to get it back to the shelf?”

Me: “No problem. Did you need help finding the item you were looking for?”

Customer #1: “Nope, I just didn’t look close enough. I was busy calculating the price. Kind of silly of me. Got caught up in the spirit of things.”

Customer #2: *suddenly attempting to wrench the router box from my hand* “I’ll take it! Is it on sale?! What is this thing, anyway?!”

Me: “…”

Not Exactly Quick As Lightning

, | Marysville, OH, USA | Technology

(I work customer service at a large retail store that specializes in electronics. While it is mainly the job of myself and others in my position to ring customers out, if a specialized sales associate makes a sale they will often come to the front and ring the customer out themselves. On this day, my coworker, a specialist in our computing department, has ‘sold’ a customer on a router/modem combo. It should also be noted that we are required to offer what is basically an insurance plan on items that qualify.)

Coworker: *ringing up the items* “Just so you know, these both qualify for our two-year insurance plan for [price]. So if something should happen to them, like power surge damage from a lightning strike, we can replace them for you at no extra cost rather than you having to purchase a whole new set.”

Customer: *visibly alarmed* “They can get struck by LIGHTNING?! I don’t want them if they can get struck by LIGHTNING!”

Coworker: “Anything you have plugged into an outlet is susceptible to lightning strikes. What I’m saying is that if that were to happen, this insurance would allow us to replace them for you at no additional charge.”

Customer: “I don’t want them if they can get struck by lightning. I didn’t know that could happen. I don’t want them right now. I’ll have to think it over. I don’t want them if they can be struck by lightning! Put them back!”

(My poor coworker tried once more to explain that any kind of electronic plugged into that sort of power source — be it a TV, router, modem, or even a cell phone — can suffer damage from lightning strikes. The customer still refused to complete the purchase and my coworker lost out on a good bit of revenue from that sale. We got a good laugh out of it, though!)

Calling Corporate Just After This Call

| MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(At my store, the manager instituted a policy that if a customer is on their phone, we’re not to wait on them until they finish. A customer comes in, busy making a call on his phone, and per policy, we wait to service them.)

Customer: *after some time, angrily* “Excuse me? I’ve been waiting for five minutes! Is someone going to help me?”

Manager: “Sir, we’d be happy to help you as soon as you finish up with your call.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me? I’m not hanging up my important call for you b****es!”

(The manager walks away. The rest of us don’t dare to go over to him again. After a while, the customer completely loses it.)

Customer: “I can’t believe this terrible customer service! I’m going to call corporate!”

Manager: *handing him a phone* “Here, I already dialed the number.”

(The customer became irate and left the shop. He never did put down his phone.)

That’s The Stock Response

, | USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(We have to have customers sign a copyright release form if they print pictures that they do not own the rights to, such as an image of a celebrity they found off of Google. It makes sure we’re not the ones liable for printing it. A man made a poster of a foreign prince and I attach to the poster the form to sign. A customer comes up to the counter about an hour later and my coworker is assisting him. It’s the man with the poster.)

Coworker: “Sorry, sir, do you own the rights to this photo?”

Customer: “It’s a stock photo I found on Google! What the h*** are you talking about?!”

Coworker: “Well, if you found it on Google, it is copyrighted and we need you to sign this form.”

Customer: “It’s a stock photo! Of course I don’t own the rights!”

Coworker: “Yep, and we need you to sign this release form so you can have the photo.”

Customer: “You’re so stupid! You’re stupid! It’s a stock photo! Off Google! I have every right to have it!”

Coworker: “Yep, you can have it. We just need you to sign the form.”

Customer: *as he’s storming off* “You’re stupid! You’re so stupid! I can’t believe this bulls***! You’re so stupid! Stupid!”

General Positioning Stress

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology

(The phone rings:)

Caller: “Hello, where is your store located?”

(I let them know the address and area landmarks.)

Caller: “Okay. Is that the nearest one to me?”

Me: “Um, well, I don’t know where you are currently located, so I’m not sure. We have several area locations.”

Caller: “Will you GPS some directions for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t have the capabilities to do that, nor do I have your location. If you can tell me where you are right now, I can maybe give you some verbal directions.”

Caller: “I’m not telling you where I live! Just GPS it.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t believe I can help you. If you are located in [Town], we are your closest location.”

Caller: “JUST GPS IT! YOU ARE GIVING TERRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE! WHY WON’T YOU HELP ME?!

Me: “Yeah, I’m really sorry, but I don’t think you understand how GPS works. I’m sorry. Have a good day!” *click*

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