Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

Doesn’t Even Read In Their Sleep

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer calls me over to the self-serve area.)

Customer: “Excuse me!? Doesn’t this thing work?”

Me: “Yes, of course it does.”

Customer: “Well the screen’s black and I’m pressing start and nothing’s happening.”

Me: “Did you press the ‘on’ button?”

Customer: “No. It should already be on! It’s not my job to turn it on!”

Me: “It is on; the copiers just go into sleep mode after a little while. The ‘on’ button wakes them up.”

(I point to the GIANT sign on the front of the copier that explains this while I talk to her.)

Customer: “Oh, are you kidding me? I don’t read things.”

Going Totally Off The Wire(less)

| TX, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Technology

(Guest calls down having issues with the Wi-Fi; his tablet can’t find our network. After explaining the code, he comes down to the desk all upset.)

Me: “Good evening. How are you today?”

Guest: “Frustrated, I can’t log on to the Wi-Fi. I’ve been trying all day and I just can’t! I want to check out! I’ve missed so much work already!”

Me: *noting it’s after five, I try to convince him to stay otherwise he will be charged an additional night* “Would you like to try moving to another room where the connection is stronger?”

Guest: “No, I can’t be sure that it will work there so I don’t want to bother.”

(After going back and forth, he agrees to go see a room. I manage to successfully log him on the network.)

Me: “Did you want to move here, sir?”

Guest: “No, I just want to check out!”

Me: “Okay, but I’m going to have to charge you for tonight, since you checked out after five.”

Guest: “Oh, that is ridiculous. How can you charge me if you didn’t even provide a basic service!”

Me: “But I did. Your [Tablet] logged on to the network, and I offered to move you at no charge.”

Guest: *irate* “No, you didn’t provide me a basic service. I have to pay for another hotel and you want to charge me? Oh, I will be writing you a bad review!”

Napkin To The Future

| USA | Bizarre, Technology

(I am ringing up a customer and they are handing me their cash, when a college girl walks up next to them to grab a napkin from the empty napkin holder near the register.)

College Girl: *leans over to napkin holder* “Napkin.”

Me: *blank stare at girl*

College Girl: *as she’s leaned over speaking into the empty napkin container* “Napkin.”

(The customer, handing me their cash, blankly stares at the college girl.)

Me: *grabs another napkin container and gives her a napkin*

College Girl: “Oh, I thought it was voice recognition.”

Doesn’t Fit The Bill

| Yorkshire, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(A customer comes into the store and comments her bills are higher than they should be. She has looked at her bill and it’s saying she’s calling people she doesn’t know. I sit the customer down and log into her account.)

Customer: “I’ve just seen my bill and it’s £50.”

Me: “The last abnormally high bill you had was three months ago.”

Customer: “No it says it’s £50; I looked before I came in.”

Me: “Do you mind showing me how you are viewing your bill?”

Customer: “No problem.”

(She starts by clicking the link in her text to view her bill, and then proceeds to click on the link to use the app. Once in the app store, she then showed me where it showed me her bill and the random people she had called. Turns out she had been viewing the example photos of how the app worked.)

Searching In The Search Engine

| USA | Technology

(I get a phone call from an author trying to submit his manuscript through our online system. The link for our submissions is kind of small and easy to miss, and elderly authors especially have difficulty with it, so I’m used to these kinds of calls.)

Me: “Okay, sir, so you entered [Company].com, correct?”

Caller: “Hang on.” *I hear him typing very slowly* “W… W… W… Dot… [Company]… Dot… C… O… M… Enter. Okay.”

Me: “Great! Now if you’ll scroll to the very bottom of the page.”

Caller: “Hang on.” *I hear him scrolling* “Okay.”

Me: “You should see a link that says ‘Guidelines for Authors.’ Do you see it?”

Caller: “No…”

Me: “Oh. Um… Do you see where it says ‘Store Locator’ in bigger letters? It’s right beneath that. I know it’s kind of small.”

Caller: “There’s no ‘Guidelines for Authors’ there.”

(I’m really confused why it’s not displaying on his page, so I spend a good fifteen minutes trying to walk him through it again, checking with IT to see if there have been problems, and repeatedly testing the site on my end.)

Me: “Okay, I can’t figure out why your page doesn’t show it. What DO you see?”

Caller: “It says ‘Help,’ ‘Send Feedback,’ ‘Privacy,’ and ‘Terms.’”

Me: “Huh? What is there right above that?”

Caller: “A blue ‘G,’ a red ‘O,’ a bunch of yellow ‘O’s…”

(That’s when I realized that he’d just entered our site address into the Google search bar and not actually clicked on the link. It didn’t even occur to me that I’d need to be THAT specific with my directions!)

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