Category: Technology

The realm of Technical Support is there to provide expert assistance to those who are not so tech-savvy. Although they still expect you to know what a computer is, and how to turn it on, and to know that you can’t ‘fix the internet’ because it isn’t pretty enough. You have been warned…

When Powering Up Brings You Down

| Stirling, Scotland, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m the idiot customer in this. My phone isn’t working due to water damage, so I have a temporary replacement: my mum’s old phone. It worked fine for about four months, and then mysteriously stopped working after one of my exams. I left it for about a month, continuing to charge it overnight and try to turn it on, before I take it in to the phone repair shop.)

Me: “Hi, I have a [Phone] and I’ve brought it in once before. About a month ago it stopped working. I’ve been charging it but it won’t turn on.”

Employee: “May I see the phone?”

Me: “Of course!”

(I put the phone down and the employee presses a button.)

Me: “Oh, no, the power button is here—”

(The phone starts to turn on.)

Me: “Oh.”

(The employee just looks at me. I pick up the phone and look at the button he pressed; sure enough, there’s a power symbol there.)

Me: “Oh. Um. Right. I’ve just been pressing the wrong button.”

Employee: “Yes, the power button and the lock button are separate on this model. Most phones have one for both functions.”

Me: “Thank you. Sorry to bother you.”

(I left with the phone, feeling like an idiot.)

Disconnected From Reality

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am doing troubleshooting over the phone with a woman whose office phone is acting up.)

Me: “So, I’m going to get you to reboot your phone. All you need to do is unplug the cable in the back of the base.”

Customer: “This data cable?”

Me: “Yes, that’s the one, but don’t do it yet or we’ll be disconnect— Hello? Hello?”

The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Technology

(My store often offers promotions where if you buy two of certain items, you get a free $5 store gift card. Due to how our system works, the gift card has to be scanned to activate it. A customer comes up to me at the service desk, complaining that she’s been charged for the free gift card.)

Customer: “The sign said if I bought these two products, I’d get a free gift card. But the cashier charged me for the card!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Can I see your receipt? I’ll try to get this straightened out.”

(I look at her receipt, and she hasn’t been charged. It says:)

-Gift Card $5

-Free Promotion -$5

-Promo total $0

(I explain this to her, pointing out where the negative number cancels out the card amount.)

Customer: “…Well, I guess I wasn’t charged. But I’m still going to ask my husband to double-check this when I get home. This would be so much easier if you just gave people the card without scanning it!”

Me: “But ma’am, as I said, if it wasn’t scanned it wouldn’t activate, and you’d be given an empty card.”

Customer: “Well, that’s your problem, isn’t it?!”

(She finally leaves and another customer comes up.)

Customer #2: “Let me guess… that happens way more often than it should.”

Me: “You have no idea…”

Taxing Faxing, Part 17

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology

(After finishing up a call with a customer…)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “You know, you don’t have to send out things via the post. It’s such a waste of paper and trees.”

Me: “Fair enough.”

Customer: “So, I was thinking you could fax them. Is that okay?”

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 16
Taxing Faxing, Part 15
Taxing Faxing, Part 14

Problem Solving Revolving

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Technology

(We have a tech-support line but no dedicated support people, so all us techs take turns answering it. It is my turn.)

Me: “[Store], support. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, can you help me with… never mind. I figured it out. Thanks, bye!”

Me: *turns to the next tech in rotation* “Next one’s yours!”

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