Category: Spouses & Partners

Some stupid customers are married to other stupid customers. Some just drag their not-so-stupid other halves along for the ride to suffer in silence. Sometimes they don’t suffer in silence. One thing is true for all three, they’re all hilarious.

Creepiness Just Hit The Motherlode

| DC, USA | Family & Kids, Spouses & Partners, Theme Of The Month

(I have just finished helping a customer complete a change to his wireless plan.)

Customer: “Wow, thank you, [My Name]. You have a nice voice, you know that? How old are you?”

Me: “Well… I’m 26, sir.”

Customer: “Hoo wow, that’s way too young. Is your mom married?”

Me: *kind of chuckling nervously* “Yes. Yes, she is.”

Customer: “… Happily?”

Me: “…”

Beware Of The Sweet Disposition

| MN, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV, Spouses & Partners

(It’s a slow day. My coworker and I are standing at the register waiting to see if we’re having another no-show. A friendly young couple walks in and asks for two tickets to a show. Then, the girlfriend chimes in.)

Girlfriend: “Hey, so, I see those three movies there…”

(She points to the three poster frames in the lobby showcasing what movies we have.)

Girlfriend: “So where do you keep the things for those?”

Me: “Um, do you mean where do we keep the posters?”

(The girlfriend begins shouting slowly as if I didn’t hear her.)

Girlfriend: “THE THING FOR THE MOVIES! WHERE DO YOU KEEP IT?”

Me: “… I, I still don’t understand. Do you mean the…”

Girlfriend: “YOU HAVE THE THREE MOVIES IN THE SIGNS! WHERE—”

(The boyfriend quietly slides behind her and reached his hand around to her mouth. He drops what looked like a caramel block into her mouth. As soon as he did, she immediately mellowed out and they both quietly walked out of the theater.)

One Is In Sickness, The Other Is in Health

| France | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

(I am returning to a patient after we have received a call from his worried wife.)

Me: “Okay. So, we got your wife on the phone—”

Patient: “Which one?”

Me: “Which one what?”

Patient: “Which wife. I have two at the moment. She didn’t say her name?”

Me: “… No. She just said she was your wife.”

Patient: “D***.”

Me: “…”

Me: “Well, at least one of your wives is worried about you, sir.”