Category: Spouses & Partners

Some stupid customers are married to other stupid customers. Some just drag their not-so-stupid other halves along for the ride to suffer in silence. Sometimes they don’t suffer in silence. One thing is true for all three, they’re all hilarious.

Not Bestowed With The Gift Of Knowledge

| Stratford, England, UK | Spouses & Partners

(A couple are walking through our gift shop, looking over the stock and discussing what they could get a friend as a present.)

Lady: *to her husband* “See, we could just get him that! That’s ideal!” *picks up item* “What is it?”

Both Taking A Uniform Approach

| Spouses & Partners

(I am shopping in a department store where the employee uniform is a red shirt and khaki pants. A middle-aged couple is next to me and the husband approaches a nearby young man talking to a group of friends. The young man is wearing a red t-shirt and dark green pants.)

Husband: “Hey, there, where do you keep the hats?”

Young Man: “Sorry man, but I don’t work here.”

Husband: “What? Oh! I guess you gotta be careful, wearing that red shirt in here!”

Wife: “Dear, you look like YOU work here.”

(The husband looks down – he is wearing a red shirt and khaki pants in the same style as the actual store employees.)

Husband: “Well, dang…”

Full Of Christmas Jeer

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Holidays, Spouses & Partners

(It’s Christmas Eve and I’m really tired because I had already been at work there from 9:30 at night to 7 that morning (an hour later than I was supposed to stay) and I am back again at 2 that afternoon, so I am running on no sleep and being kind of bitchy to customers.)

Customer: “Can I see that necklace there? What is that, just a geometric shape?”

Me: “It’s a snake. ”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t like snakes and wouldn’t want to get that for me wife since she’s not a fan either. Except for, you know, my snake.”

Me: *begin staring at him with just this look of absolute hatred that screams ‘f*** you’*

Customer: “Okay… so I’ll take the one behind it.”

Got Belly Offended

| Fort Worth, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays, Spouses & Partners

(A customer asks if we carry anklets, so I lead him to our selection.)

Customer: “Don’t you have any for belly dancing? Like the ones that jingle?”

Me: “Unfortunately not. Is your wife a belly dancer?”

Customer: “What, do you have to be a belly dancer to buy these or something? Of course she’s not a belly dancer. What a stupid question.”

Me: “Uh… I only asked because you had said… never mind. Let me know if you need anything else.”

(A few minutes later, he comes to the register to purchase the anklet. I ring him up, hand him his purchase, and wish him a Merry Christmas.)

Customer: “You’re a dumb mother-f*****, aren’t you?”

(I still don’t know what his problem was!)

She Is All Over The Map

| Tulsa, OK, USA | Spouses & Partners

(I work for a cell phone accessory shop inside a mall as the primary repair technician. Appointments are made through a third-party call center, and then an email with details is sent to our store; we don’t interact with a customer until they show up. A woman shows up at our kiosk with a sheet of paper in her hand.)

Customer: “I’m supposed to drop off my husband’s phone to be fixed. He said the place was here in the mall, but I can’t find it.”

(I realize that she believes we were an actual shop and not a kiosk. I check our appointments.)

Me: “We can certainly help you out. We have an appointment scheduled at 12:30 for [Husband]. Is that him?”

Customer: “I’m pretty sure this isn’t the place. He said it was called [Store], by Starbucks.”

(She obviously can’t see Starbucks behind her.)

Me: “Yes, that is us. It’s a little early, but you can still drop off—”

Customer: “No, I’m definitely sure this isn’t the place. Thank you for your help.”

(She leaves, and presumably finds another phone repair shop because she didn’t come back. Four hours pass and a man walks up to the kiosk.)

Man: “Excuse me; I’m here to pick up my phone. My wife dropped it off earlier.”

(I ask for his name, and he tells me. I realize that his wife was the woman from earlier. I inform him what happened. He rolls his eyes in disbelief.)

Man: “That woman couldn’t find water if she fell out of a canoe! I told her exactly where you guys were, and even drew her a map!”

(I had wondered what that paper in her hand was.)

Page 1/2512345...Last