Category: School

Think They Are The Masters Race

| FL, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, School

(I work in a call center for a large insurance company. My desk partner has just gotten a call from an extremely irate man. He is trying to find anything he can use to insult her. She is Filipino, but she was born in the US. She has no accent to speak of and a very American name.)

Customer: “Are you even in America? Where are you located?”

Coworker: “I’m in our Florida office, sir.”

Customer: “Well at least you’re not some dot-head.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Yeah, well, even if you ain’t foreign, you’re obviously an idiot working in a call center. I don’t have time to talk to some uneducated girl.”

Coworker: “Actually, sir, in addition to having a license to process insurance policies, I have a Master’s degree. So unless you have a Doctorate, I’m certain I’ve had more education than you, and I’m more than qualified to help you.”

Customer: “Oh… uh…”

(He didn’t have much to say after that, and I just sat there cackling.)

Unable To Make Contact

| MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, School, Technology

(I work in the IT Help Desk of a university.)

Caller: “I’m calling about the homepage for the university.”

Me: “Okay…”

Caller: “It’s terrible! I can’t see any contact information on the page at all!”

Me: “Is it [website URL]?”

Caller: “I don’t know! I’m not on that site now!”

Me: “Okay, can you tell me the URL to the site you’re having this issue with?”

Caller: “No! Your homepage doesn’t have any contact information! It’s terrible!”

Me: “Well, I’m on the [website URL], which is what our homepage is, and there is contact information at the bottom of the page.”

Caller: “That’s not good enough! You don’t have contact information on the page!”

Me: “Yes, we do. It’s at the bottom of the page.”

Caller: “Well, I’m a Harvard graduate and as an educated person, I didn’t think to look down there, so obviously the page is terrible.”

Me: “Okay, well, at the bottom of the page-”

Caller: “You’re telling me there’s the information there but I didn’t see it?!”

Me: “What I’m trying to say is that it has a place to comment on the page. If you click-”

Caller: “I’m telling you about this!”

Me: “Okay, but I don’t run the website. So, if you click-”

Caller: “This is a business call! I will never call again! I’m just trying to tell you the website sucks!”

Me: “Well, thanks for letting us know. Have a great day.”

We’ll Sell You One When Guinea Pigs Fly

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals, School, Theme Of The Month

(It’s late August and temperatures have been in the high 90s since 7 am. It’s now nearly 3 pm when I get a call.)

Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Do you have any orange and white guinea pigs?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, all our guinea pigs are black but they’re very sweet and personable.”

Customer: “No, it really has to be an orange and white one.”

Me: “May I ask why?”

Customer: “Well, I’m a teacher at [Local Middle School] and I set the class guinea pig outside to clean my classroom this morning. I just checked on him and he’s dead.”

Me: “Sir, you’re telling me you left that guinea pig outside in near 100-degree weather without checking on him, leading him to die of heat stroke, and you want me to sell you another one?”

Customer: “…I’m not getting a guinea pig, am I?”