Category: School

Cracked The Da Vinci Code

| MD, USA | Books & Reading, School

(This happens around the time many teenagers are getting books for their summer reading. Today, a young man and his mother came in looking for Dan Brown’s Inferno. My coworker is the one who helps them. I overhear this.)

Mother: “Oh, yes, my son really needs this book. Not only does he have to read the whole thing, but he also has to write a paper on it, and draw a scene from it. They’re dedicating a lot of time on this.”

(I find this odd considering Dan Brown books are not the usual summer reading requirements, but don’t think nothing further of it until the two leave with the book.)

Me: *to coworker* “Wait, he has to write a paper on the Inferno?”

Coworker: “Yeah.”

Me: “Um… is he sure it’s supposed to be Dan Brown’s Inferno, and not DANTE’S Inferno?”

Coworker: “OH, MY GOD! That makes a lot more sense! I don’t know…”

(Nobody before or since has ever requested Dan Brown’s Inferno for summer reading.)

Getting An Icy Reception

| Columbia, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, School

(I am a residential advisor in a dormitory at my university. The dorm that I work at also has a dining hall attached to it. We recently had a lot of snow so as RAs we have to shovel during the late hours. We also have a late night dining offering that closes at 1 am. But, due to the weather it, closes at 11 pm.)

Student: *student tries to open locked door into building and notices me shoveling*  “Hey, could you let us in?”

Me: “Are you trying to get into the dining hall?”

Student: “Yes.”

Me: “Well, they actually closed at 11.”

Student: “Don’t lie to me; I know it is open until 1!”

Me: “Due to the weather it closed at 11.”

Student: “Don’t lie to me. JUST LET US IN!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t let people who don’t live here into the dorm area.”

Student: “Just this one time you can. I just want to see if the dining hall is open.”

Me: *a little irritated because it is snowing and it’s 12 am* “CLEARLY the lights are off in the dining hall, meaning that it is CLOSED. I CANNOT let you in.”

Student: *walking away with an attitude* “Ugh, I still don’t believe you.”

A Probing Set Of Questions

, | Ithaca, NY, USA | Bizarre, School

(Our college has students that work with the officers of public safety to help patrol the college and dorms at night. Other students like to tease us to varying degrees. This conversation takes place with a student who is tipsy but still being rather polite.)

Student: “What if I took off running right now?”

Me: *jokingly* “That’s what the flashlight is for.”

Student: “What if you miss?”

Me: “That’s what the radio is for.”

Student: “What if you miss?”

Me: “That’s what the probie is for.” *look at my partner* “Go fetch.”

Should Have Vetted Their Outbursts

| ON, Canada | Pets & Animals, School

(I have worked in a pet store selling dogs and cats for five years at this point, and wear a tag that says my name and that I am a ‘dog specialist.’)

Customer: “Psh, dog specialist my a**. That girl looks like she is just starting high school.”

Coworker: “So, [My Name], how is your third year of veterinary school going?”

(The client turns bright red and leaves the store. The next day, she came back and started asking me questions as to why her dog might be limping.)

Needs To Be Schooled On The Internet

| VI, USA | Extra Stupid, School, Technology

(I work for a school that offers online classes. A parent from Georgia calls with a very simple request:)

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I assist you today?”

Parent: “Yes, I’m thinking of turning off the Internet up here at the house and I want to know if that’s going to affect my daughter’s online school?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I believe it might.”

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