Category: School

A Bit Young To Be So Off-Color

| France | School

(I am a kindergarten teacher, and I’m meeting a student for the first time.)

Me: “What is your favorite color?”

5 year-old: “Stool.”

Me: “Let’s try that again…”

Obviously, They Prefer Fartissimo

, | Huntington Beach, CA, USA | School

(In music, “pianissimo” means “very quiet”. It is abbreviated as “PP” on sheet music and scores. Currently, I am teaching a student who always pounds the keys, no matter what dynamic level is indicated.)

Student: “Oh no! This has PP!”

Me: “Yep, it’s a quiet piece.”

Student: “I hate PP! It’s too hard to do. I can’t do PP!”

Me: “Sounds like a personal problem to me, buddy…”

The Klass Of 2015

| England, UK | School

(I’m working clearing, which is when we take in calls about students who are in their last ditch effort to get into the university.)

Me: “Okay, that’s fine. I’m going to process your application now. Can I please take your first name?”

Student: “Yes. It’s…” *unintelligible speech*

Me: “Can you please spell that for me?”

Student: “Ugh, if I have to. It’s K…” *unintelligible*

Me: “Okay, can you repeat that for me? It starts with K?”

Student: “Yeah, you know. K as in Chicken.”

No Aspirations As Long As You’re Under This Roof, Part 2

, | California, USA | Family & Kids, School

(I work at a call center for a university. We call prospective students and tell them about our school. This call was meant for a young lady but was taken by her father.)

Me: “I’m calling from [university] to talk to [girl] about her interest in attending our university.”

Father: “University? Like school, papers, homework, and stuff?!”

Me: “Yes, that stuff usually occurs in a university.”

Father: “My daughter ain’t goin’ there!”

Me: “All right, have a nice day, sir.”

Related:
No Aspirations As Long As You’re Under This Roof

Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, School

(I work in the testing center for a community college. We administer placement exams and make-up exams, among other things. This particular student is taking his placement exam.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I have you set up on that computer over there.” *points to computer* “Just finish filling in your personal information and the test will begin.”

Student: “Okay, thanks.”

(About forty-five minutes go by as the student goes through the exam. I then see him raise his hand, so I stand up and walk over to his computer.)

Me: “Is there something wrong?”

Student: “Yeah, it’s telling me that I’m about to start the arithmetic test.”

Me: “Yes, that is part of the placement exam.”

Student: “But I’m supposed to be taking a math test, not an arithmetic test!”