Category: School

You Can’t Combat Stupidity

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, School

(I teach a martial art sport. A girl starts in August, completes the beginner test, and graduates up into the competitive group. I advise her and her mother in writing and verbally that the girl must upgrade her national association membership from a learning one to a competitive one in order to continue her training and compete. A few months later, the girl is entering her first official tournament.)

Tournament Manager: “I see that your daughter has a learning membership, not a competitive one. She will need to upgrade her membership before she can compete. I can offer you the use of my computer to do so.”

(While the manager sets up the computer, I walk up to the desk and ask what’s going on. The manager tells me. The mother looks from him to me saying, with a perfectly straight face:)

Mother: “I wasn’t told that I had to do that.”

(I am sure my face twitches a bit when I bite my tongue. I keep quiet and maintain eye contact. The mother squirms a moment then adds:)

Mother: “I mean, you told me to do it, but, you know, you didn’t really tell me to do it.”

I Am More Than The Sum

| UK | At The Checkout, Math & Science, School

(I’m working a register during the busy Christmas season. I’m coming towards the end of a 12-hour shift when a man comes to my till.)

Me: “Okay, sir. That will be [price].”

Customer: “Can I pay part with cash and the rest on my card?”

Me: “Yes, that’s fine. I’ll have to process the card first, so how much do you have in cash?”

Customer: “[Amount].”

Me: “Okay. That’ll be…”

(I try to work out how much remains after subtracting his cash from the price, but my brain is just fried and I can’t think.)

Me: “That’ll be… erm…”

Customer: *sighs angrily* “It’ll be [other amount] on my card!”

Me: “Right you are, sir. Sorry about that. It’s been a long day.”

Customer: *mumbles about me being an idiot*

(Once the customer has paid, he goes to leave. Suddenly, he turns back to me.)

Customer: “You know, you are useless. Can’t even do simple calculations without needing a calculator. No wonder you’re working in a shop!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m coming to the end of a long shift of overtime, due to the busy season. Plus I’m a little tired after being up all night studying for my post grad molecular and microbiology final tomorrow. I hope you’ll understand.”

(The customer went red and shut his mouth quickly. He ran off without so much as an apology!)

Needs To Seriously Self Check Out Of Campus

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, School

(Customer #1 is in line ahead of Customer #2, and is buying a large amount of instant coffee, instant noodles, and candy.)

Customer #1: “D***! This stupid credit card thing can’t read my card.”

Clerk: “Try it again, sir, and move the card slowly and evenly.”

Customer #1: “Nope! This f****** thing is broken.”

Customer #2: “How’s studying for finals going?”

Customer #1: “Uh… Not well. Why?”

Customer #2: “Because you’re trying to pay with your student ID.”

(Customer #1 stares at the card for a long time.)

Customer #1: “I haven’t left campus in way too long.”