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Category: Rude & Risque

For those who like their humor a bit more PG-13, this section is littered with customers who are not afraid to walk on the more brazen side, or act downright gross-out disgusting. Be warned though that toilet humor sometimes literally takes place in the toilet.

An Inappropriate Touchdown

| USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Transportation

(I’m ordering a personalized plate for the customer. I ask the customer what he wants on the license plate.)

Customer: “I’m a Colts fan. What about COLTFAN?”

Me: “I’ll check… Seems to be taken.”

Customer: “Hmm… What about CLTFAN?”

Me: *blushing* “Well, I don’t think that’s appropriate.”

Customer: “What? Oh! Um, just a regular plate. Sorry about that.”

Three Is A Magic Number

| Louisville, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Rude & Risque

(We have a coworker who keeps getting obscene, prank calls. One day I answer the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. How may I help you?”

Caller: *muttering* “You can f*** me.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Could you please repeat that?”

Caller: “I said, you can F*** ME!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t do that over the phone. You’ll have to come into the store. Or perhaps you’d like to involve my husband for a threesome?”

Caller: *hangs up*

Forgive The Pun(tang)

| Corvallis, OR, USA | Funny Names, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

(I am working as a phone operator at the hospital. Usually people call me and I connect them to different parts of the hospital.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hospital]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah. Can you connect me to the ‘vaginacologist’ please?”

(I knew what she wanted but was stunned because I have never heard anyone say that before.)

Me: “You mean, the gynecologist office?”

Caller: “I don’t know what they are called. Whoever is in charge of looking at my ‘hoo haw!'”