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Category: Rude & Risque

For those who like their humor a bit more PG-13, this section is littered with customers who are not afraid to walk on the more brazen side, or act downright gross-out disgusting. Be warned though that toilet humor sometimes literally takes place in the toilet.

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This Job Blows

| Perth, WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Popular, Rude & Risque

(I’m working on the drive-thru window at a fast food restaurant and I’ve just finished taking the order for a car in the queue.)

Me: “Would you like anything else with that?”

Customer: “Yeah, a blow-j*b.”

Me: “Well, mate, if you can get it up to the window…”

(He drove straight through without his order.)

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Go And Deep Clean Room 203

| Stony Brook, NY, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque

(My coworker and I work the front desk of a hotel.)

Coworker: *phone rings* “Hi, thank you for calling the [Hotel]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, do you guys have a lost and found?”

Coworker: “Yes, we do.”

Caller: “Okay, good, because I stayed there the other night and lost my virginity in room 203…”

Coworker: *click*

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Happiness Is All In The Wrist

| CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(The customers have just asked me to write on a cake. They are a woman, Customer #1, and a man, Customer #2. After I have written on it, Customer #1 is looking at my handiwork.)

Customer #1: “Oh, wow, you have nice handwriting.”

Me: “Thank you very much.”

Customer #1: “Very steady, and good wrist work. You must make your boyfriend very happy.”

Customer #2: *obviously very shocked, he sputters and tries to say something like “you can’t say that!”*

Me: “Actually…” *holds up my left hand and points to my ring* “Wedding ring.”

Customer #1: “There, see? You made him very happy.”