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Category: Rude & Risque

For those who like their humor a bit more PG-13, this section is littered with customers who are not afraid to walk on the more brazen side, or act downright gross-out disgusting. Be warned though that toilet humor sometimes literally takes place in the toilet.

Not Acting Like Adults

| Tacoma, WA, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(I’m working at a popular adult store. It is five minutes before closing. Two girls come in, and they appear to have been drinking.)

Customer #1: “Are you still open?”

Me: “Well, we close in about five minutes, but I’d be happy to help you find what you’re looking for.”

Customer #2: “Oh-em-gee. I want my first vibrator!”

Me: “Okay. Well, we have a lot of good choices.”

(I try to show her the products. She proceeds to grab them out of my hands and hit her friend with them. Even though I’m not embarrassed by the products, I find this behavior pretty inappropriate. She is clearly not listening to anything I’m saying.)

Me: “You know what? It’s getting late, and I really think that you’ll want more time to make your decision. This is the hours we are open, and in fact, I will be here opening in the morning. You will have a lot more time to decide then.”

Customer #1: “Let’s just go. It’s getting late.”

Customer #2: “No, I want a vibrator!”

Customer #1: *pulling her out of the store, to me* “I’m really sorry about this. Have a good night.”

Coworker: “Man, I know we’re not supposed to kick people out of the store and stay open, but thank you for getting them out of here!”

The Breast Awareness

| USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Rude & Risque

(During October we have a Halloween costume contest at work. I work at a family-friendly restaurant and my costume is not very revealing. I am in an alcove putting an order into the computer when a customer with an alcoholic beverage in his hand walks up to me and blocks me in the alcove.)

Customer: *looking at my chest* “I just wanted to check.”

(Thinking he wanted to look at my name tag in order to vote for my costume, I turned towards him.)

Customer: *gesturing towards my breasts* “Nice.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “You’re SUPPOSED to say THANK YOU!”

Customer Service Until You’re Satisfied

| FL, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(The store I work for sells novelty items including adult toys. We’re currently taking donations for breast cancer, so once I ring in all of the items I ask everyone the same thing.)

Me: “And would you like to donate $2 to our breast cancer awareness organization? You’ll get your name up on our wall and you can even ring the cowbell if you’d like!”

Customer: “Oh, no, I’ve done a lot this year. As a matter of fact I just recently agreed to service someone for free for a $50 donation.”

Me: “… Oh, that’s nice!”

Customer: “Oh, my god! I’m a hairdresser! I meant hair services, not the other kind. Oh, my god. I’m sorry.”

Me: “Oh, that’s okay. Trust me. Working here I’ve heard way worse!”