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Category: Rude & Risque

For those who like their humor a bit more PG-13, this section is littered with customers who are not afraid to walk on the more brazen side, or act downright gross-out disgusting. Be warned though that toilet humor sometimes literally takes place in the toilet.

Acting His Shoe Size

| NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Rude & Risque

(I’m 15 and I work at my father’s sports bar. All legal except I can’t carry alcohol. I receive inappropriate comments from time to time from the intoxicated men I’m surrounded by. I am bussing a group’s table when this happens.)

Customer: “Hey I like your shoes! Do you like mine?”

Me: “Uh, yeah, sure. They’re nice.”

Customer: “They’re a size twelve. You know what they say about big feet?”

(After realizing the situation was heading this direction I tried to come up with the wittiest answer I could muster.)

Me: “Um, big egos?”

Makes You Blush Red

| OR, USA | Rude & Risque, Technology

(I work at a call center and am talking to a 61-year-old lady about getting her cell phone service.)

Me: “What color do you want your phone? Red or black?”

Customer: “I think I will get black. Red might make me look like a slut.”

Fools Give Vent To Their Rage

| Portland, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Hotels & Lodging, Movies & TV, Rude & Risque

(We have a full house of baseball teams, 14-16-year-old boys. At approximately 11 pm, a mother comes up to the front desk.)

Mother: “Why is there pornography on channel 16? We obviously didn’t order anything!”

(We don’t have the option to order movies or pornography, so we look up what channel this was and find out it’s our [Cable Channel] channel playing a movie called ‘Erotic Engagement.’)

Me: “Ma’am, that is our premium channel [Cable Channel], which is commonly known for playing adult themed movies this late at night. Our suggestion would be to keep an eye on your team as to not be watching [Cable Channel] this late at night.”

Mother: “That is not [Cable Channel]. That is graphic pornography. You either refund my stay or we will check out right now.”

Me: “Ma’am, I understand your frustration, but again, we do not have pornographic channels—”

Mother: “You obviously don’t know what you are talking about and now my child is scarred for life. I hope you are happy and I hope God strikes you down for your disregard for protecting us from that filth!”

Me: “Proverbs 29:11, if you want to get biblical. Have a nice night, ma’am.”

(The scripture states: ‘Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end.’)