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Category: Rude & Risque

For those who like their humor a bit more PG-13, this section is littered with customers who are not afraid to walk on the more brazen side, or act downright gross-out disgusting. Be warned though that toilet humor sometimes literally takes place in the toilet.

Fifty Shades Of (Christian) Grey

| OR, USA | Books & Reading, Religion, Rude & Risque

(I work at an accessories store in a mall. There is a Christian store that specializes in books and movies right across from our store, and next to the bathrooms. After directing a customer to the bathrooms, she comes rushing back in with her eyes wide and her cheeks flushed.)

Customer: “Is that the only bookstore in the mall?”

Me: “Oh, that’s not actually a bookstore. That’s a Christian store.”

Customer: “Oh. That explains why the cashier got so angry when I asked where to find Fifty Shades of Grey.”

See this story as a comic!

Customers Like To Give You A Pizza Their Dirty Mind

| MI, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

(I and two other coworkers are on break in back room, having some pizza, when another coworker comes to grab some pizza. Everyone else is already sitting down and eating so he remains standing, eats some, and exclaims:)

Coworker: “This is sooo good. I could eat this every day.”

(After which I hear someone add on to that saying:)

Passer By: “Just like sex.”

(Everyone else continues eating and doesn’t say anything, until my coworker standing at the table asks:)

Coworker: “Did anyone else hear that guy?”

Me: “Yeah, the one that said ‘just like sex’?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I thought I was the only one who heard him.”

Me: “That’s what I thought, too.”

(We burst out laughing, then promptly close the doors so random creepers would stop eavesdropping or contributing creepiness.)

Regrade The Service

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Rude & Risque, School

(I’m a high school student, and I work at my dad’s sports grill. I am bussing a table when I recognize an old middle school teacher. His friend then decides to strike up a conversation.)

Friend: “Hey, cutie, can I buy you a drink?”

Me: “Unfortunately, drinking on the job is prohibited. Also, I’m underage.”

Friend: “Well.” *winks* “You don’t look underage.”

Teacher: “I had her in eighth grade… three years ago.”

Friend: *shrinking and turning red* “Oh…”

Me: “Yeah…”