Category: Religion

There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.


Your Numbers Are Up

| Omaha, NE, USA | Books & Reading, Religion

(I work in a medical clinic and part of the job is getting patients’ vitals at check-in. My standard joke with people if their blood pressure is up a bit is that they’re SO excited to be at the doctor.)

Patient: “I get all the excitement I need from my Bible. It’s ALL exciting!”

Me: “Well, what about Numbers? Isn’t that all who begat who, on and on?”

Patient: “Well, maybe not Numbers.”


Thank Heaven For Customer Service

| Houston, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Religion

(I’m a part-time receptionist at my church and take a phone call.)

Me: “[Church], may I help you?”

Caller: “Hello! Who is the owner of your establishment, and may I speak with him, please?”

Me: “That would be God. May I put you through?”

Caller: *click*


The Virtues Of Customer Service

| Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Popular, Religion

(I work as a cashier and I have a very new cashier on the till next to mine so I can help her if she has any questions. The new cashier turns to ask me a quick question about a transaction while I am serving an elderly man.)

Me: *to customer* “I’m sorry, sir, please give me just one second.”

(The question is simple and I do not even have to leave my till to deal with the problem. The entire exchange takes maybe a minute at most.)

Customer: *very rudely* “Excuse ME, but I believe you were serving me first.”

Me: “Sorry about that, sir. This is [Coworker]’s first time on cash alone and I am to make sure that I help her if she gets stuck.”

Customer: “Well, that isn’t my problem.”

(I politely ignore his rude tone and finish scanning his last couple items. In his order is a large number of cleaning supplies.)

Customer: “I am getting ready for a full weekend of spring cleaning. Cleanliness is next to godliness, you know!”

Me: *smiling and handing him his shopping bag* “Yes, and so is patience, so I hear.”


Religion: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

| Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Religion

(I work at a local health food store with a religious-sounding name. We often get people mistaking us for a charity, a bible store, or a particular national Christian newsletter that shares our name. I have just answered a phone call.)

Caller: “Do you have gifts?”

Me: *thinking I may have misheard something* “What’s that again, ma’am?”

Caller: “Gifts. G-I-F-T-S. Do you have gifts?”

Me: “What kind of gifts do you mean?”

Caller: “Let me spell it for you. G… I… F as in Frank…”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I understand ‘gifts,’ I’m just not sure what sort of gifts you’re looking for.”

Caller: “I’m looking for a picture of Jesus.”

Me: “Oh! Sorry, ma’am, we’re a health food store.”

Caller: “I know!”


Did Nazi That Coming

TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Popular, Religion

(I work in a gas station located on a major interstate, and we get a lot of out-of-town customers who are just passing through. Many of them object to the company’s policy of requiring customers to pre-pay for gas.)

Customer #1: “I want to fill up with gas, but I want to buy drinks, too. Can you just hold my card and turn on the pump?”

Me: “No, sir, I’m sorry; company policy does not allow me to do that, in the event that a card may be declined.”

Customer #1: “My card is good. Just turn on the pump.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m not allowed to do that. You will have to use your card to pay at the pump and come in to purchase your drinks separately.”

Customer #1: “This is bull-s***! Why should I have to make two separate purchases? You just like telling people what to do! You’re a god-d*** [Gas Station] Nazi!” *continues ranting and cursing, using the word “Nazi” at least four more times*

Customer #2: *in line behind Customer #1* “That will be enough of that, young man.”

(Customer #1 rounds on Customer #2, obviously preparing to continue his tirade. Customer #2, an elderly lady wearing a necklace with a large silver Star of David pendant, looks back at him calmly as his mouth shuts with a snap. Without looking at either of us again, he slinks off and drives away.)

Me: “I’m so sorry about that, ma’am.”

Customer #2: “Quite all right, miss. Twenty dollars on pump two, please.”

Me: “Thank you, and have a lovely day!”

Customer #2: “Shalom!”

Page 5/43First...34567...Last