Category: Religion

There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

Lost In Holy Translation

| Australia | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Religion

Me: “Hi! How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hey, do you have The Bible?”

Me: “Yeah, heaps. Let me—”

Customer: “No.” *looking at phone* “I need The Bible by the author… King James!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Do you have it?”

Me: “Sure…”

Cross Them Off Your Shopping List

| Hayward, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Religion, Wild & Unruly

(My partner and I have a stall in a vintage clothing collective. On the day in question, I am working the counter when a woman comes in wanting to sell some clothes.)

Customer: “I want to sell these.”

Me: “Okay, let me see what you’ve got.”

(As I am looking over the clothes, which are mostly from chain stores in the past 10 years, she notices I am wearing a vintage pewter cross.)

Customer: “Hey! Why are you wearing that cross?!”

Me: “Um, I like it?”

Customer: “Hah! Just as I thought! You’re a disgrace! Wearing a cross as a piece of jewelry!”

Partner: *coming out of the back room* “Technically, it IS a piece of jewelry! And she has every right to wear it.”

Customer: “Hah! I seriously doubt that! So tell me, are you a Christian?”

Me: “If you’re asking that question, I’m probably not what YOU would consider a Christian.”

Customer: “I thought as much! You take that cross off right now, you little heathen!”

Partner: *becoming very irritated* “Actually, ma’am, we have both attended many churches, including Methodist, Episcopal, and Old Catholic.”

Me: “I’m currently Religious Scientist.”

Customer: “I thought as much! Heathens! You aren’t entitled to wear that cross!”

Me: “I’m as much entitled as you, Ma’am.”

Partner: “So, if you’re not buying anything, please leave the store and stop harassing us.”

Customer: “I’m not buying, I’m selling!”

Partner: “Oh, no, you’re not.”

Me: “You don’t have any REAL vintage, anyway.”

Customer: “Well, I never! You girls don’t know how to run a business! I wouldn’t want to sell to a couple of heathens, anyway!”

(She gathered up her clothes and exited the store in a huff. Thankfully, she never entered our heathen store again.)

All Meals Come Pre-Blessed

, | USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names, Religion

(At the restaurant I work at all of the employees names are written on a wall. A little girl around the age of six and her dad walk in. While waiting for their food she is reading the names out loud and spots the name Jesus.)

Girl: “Daddy, look, they have Jesus working here! That’s so awesome. Now we don’t have to pray before this meal!”

(Jesus got a chuckle out of this as the dad quickly explained it is a name pronounced ‘hey-Zeus.’)