Category: Religion

There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

Donating On Biblical Proportions

, | USA | Bizarre, Religion

(A customer comes in on a Sunday afternoon. He orders a coffee but doesn’t leave after he gets it.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, was there anything else I could help you with?”

Customer: “Oh, no, not at the moment, dear. I just wanted to give you this. You’re new here and I like to make sure all the new people are taken care of.”

(As he is speaking he pulls a miniature bible out of his pocket and slides it across the counter to me. I’m almost too startled to speak.)

Me: “…um, thank you?”

(I wait until he leaves and approach my manager.)

Me: “So, some guy just gave me a bible, but I don’t know what to do with it.”

Manager: “Yeah, he does that. We’ve asked him to stop but he won’t. If you don’t want to keep it there’s a box of them under the desk in the office. Just throw it there.”

Me: “There’s a whole box of these things?!”

Manager: “Yeah, we drop them off at the Goodwill center when it gets full.”

(Apparently this was just a normal thing that happened because when I moved to another restaurant down the road they also had a box of mini bibles that customers had given to employees.)

Doesn’t Have The Magic Touch

| LA, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Religion

(My coworker and I are discussing Harry Potter: which book was our favorite, which movie, what we would have liked to have seen in the movies, etc. when a customer walks in.)

Customer: *scowling at us* “You shouldn’t read those books. They teach the devil’s work!”

(My coworker and I reply at the same time.)

Coworker: “Not really.”

Me: “Not in the slightest.”

Customer: “YES, THEY ARE! They have magic in them so they teach the devil’s work!”

Me: *smiling* “Humor me here, okay?”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “Your little girl watches Disney, right? And she really loves the Disney Princesses, right?”

Customer: *proudly* “Yes! She’s growing up on good, wholesome family movies like I did!”

Me: “Okay, so she loves the Princess movies. Who is her favorite?”

Customer: “Right now it’s Rapunzel.”

Me: “You mean the Disney Princess who has magical hair because her mother ate a magical plant to save her when she was pregnant with Rapunzel? The same Rapunzel who was kidnapped by a witch and kept in a tower?”

Customer: “Yes! The witch was evil! She wanted to use Rapunzel’s magical hair all for herself.”

Me: “Right. Rapunzel’s magical hair that healed people when she sang.”

Customer: *snottily* “What’s your point?”

Me: “My point is that you let your child watch Disney movies that are full of talking animals, magical hair, enchanted furniture, etcetera, etcetera, but you don’t think my coworker and I should read Harry Potter because it has magic in it, making it the devil’s work.”

Customer: “That’s right!”

Me: “You see the flaw in your logic, right?”

Customer: *loudly* “There is no flaw! Magic is evil and that’s that!”

Me: *rubbing my temples* “Right. Did you actually need anything tonight?”

Customer: “No! I think I’ll go to the dollar store down the street instead!”

Me: “You do that, ma’am.”

Gonna Spread Her Terror Across The Street

, | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Religion

(I’m a customer waiting in line at a local convenience store. A man and a woman walk in, grab drinks out of the cooler and head for the register to pay. Suddenly, the woman throws the drink on the ground.)

Woman: “Oh, h*** no! I don’t buy nothing from no towelhead, Muslim terrorists!”

(The man behind the register, who is Middle Eastern, says nothing.)

Woman: “You know what? F*** this place. I’m going to [Store across the street] and buy my stuff from Americans!”

(Both of them storm out the door and head across the street. I walk up to the counter.)

Me: “Well, that was interesting.”

Clerk: “They’re not going to like it any better over there.”

Me: “No?”

Clerk: *laughing* “My brother owns that store!”