Category: Religion

There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

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A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 4

| TN, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Religion

(I am ringing up a customer, and it came time to tell them their total)

Me: “Your total comes to $13.34.”

Customer: *hands me $20 bill*

Me: “Out of $20? Ok, your change is $6.66. Have-”

Customer: “Oh! Oh no, can’t have THAT number! I don’t want that, you don’t want that either! Oh! Just.. put the coins in the donation box! We can’t have THAT!”

Me: “…Sure. Uh, have a nice day…”

Related:
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 3
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2
A Price For The Devil To Pay

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A Message From The Messiah

| MD, USA | Religion

(I am calling a patron up to tell them they had accidentally turned in a DVD case without the disk inside. I get their answering machine.)

Machine: “Thank you so much for calling me on this blessed day Jesus has provided for us. Praise Jesus and all his wonders. Praise God and everything he has given us. For he is our savior and we should all bow down to his golden light. Praise Jesus, praise Him, praise the Lord! Thank you for calling me and have a wonderful, BLESSED day!”

(The machine finally beeps to let me leave a message.)

Me: “Um… hello, Miss [Name]. I am calling today because you returned a DVD case without the disk inside. I have renewed the item and you can return it to us anytime before then. Thank you, and… um… Praise Jesus.”

(I hung up and realized a split second later what I had just said.)

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Your Numbers Are Up

| Omaha, NE, USA | Books & Reading, Religion

(I work in a medical clinic and part of the job is getting patients’ vitals at check-in. My standard joke with people if their blood pressure is up a bit is that they’re SO excited to be at the doctor.)

Patient: “I get all the excitement I need from my Bible. It’s ALL exciting!”

Me: “Well, what about Numbers? Isn’t that all who begat who, on and on?”

Patient: “Well, maybe not Numbers.”