Category: Religion

There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

Missed The Magic Of The Magic Kingdom

| Fayetteville, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Religion

(A customer comes up to the till and hands me a bunch of DVDs. We have to up-sell, for obvious reasons.)

Me: “I see you are getting a bunch of Disney movies. Did you know the newest Harry Potter just came out? We do have some copies on the shelf.”

Customer: “I’m not even going to touch that anti-Christ movie! Any movie that delves into magic is Satan’s movies!”

(I look down at the movies being rented and finish the transaction with no more chit-chatting.)

Me: “Enjoy The Little Mermaid, and Beauty and the Beast! Have a nice day!”

Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 4

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Religion

Customer: *at my closed register* “Can you check me out?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m closing this register. The next register is open, and my associate can check you out.”

Customer: *sighs* “Her line is too long. I need you to do it. I’m in a hurry.”

Me: “I can’t. As soon as I opened this register to count the till, it’s officially closed. I can’t do anything about it. You’ll have to go to the next register.”

Customer: *glares at me and leaves her full buggy in front of me* “I’m going to pray against you tonight.”

Coworker: “I bet she will, too.”

Related:
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 3
Lack of Register Does Not Register, Part 2
Lack of Register Does Not Register

Pay It Forward, Driving Backwards

, | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Religion, Top

(I’m working the drive-through at my restaurant. A customer drives up.)

Customer #1: “Can I have a small [soda], please?”

Me: “That will be [amount]. Please pull forward.”

(The customer pulls up to the window and I hand her the drink. She hands me cash to pay for it.)

Customer #1: “Do you take personal checks?”

Me: “Uh, yes, we do, but you’ve already paid in cash, ma’am.”

Customer #1: “Yes. I want to pay for the next person in line, too.”

Me: “You want to pay for the next person?”

Customer #1: “My pastor challenged everyone at my church to perform an act of kindness this week. So I’ll just sign a blank check and you can write in how much the next person’s order costs. Is that okay?”

Me: “Hang on. I should probably check with my manager.”

(I explain the customer’s request to the manager, who looks a bit confused, but says we can do that.)

Me: “The manager says it’s okay, ma’am.”

Customer #1: “Great!”

(She signs a blank check and hands it to me, along with a religious tract.)

Customer #1: “Could you just let the next person know it’s all taken care of, and please give them that pamphlet, too?”

Me: “Yes, I certainly will.”

(She cheerfully drives away, saying ‘bless you.’ A few minutes later, the next customer comes through the drive-through.)

Customer #2: “Yeah, can I get a [sandwich combo] with a large [soda]?”

Me: “[Sandwich combo] with a large [soda]. Yes, sir. Please pull forward.”

Customer #2: *pulling up to the window* “You didn’t tell me how much it was back there.”

Me: “Well, you don’t have to worry about that, sir. The lady who came through the drive-through before you wrote out a check to take care of the next person’s order. She said she’d pay for it.”

Customer #2: “What? You’re joking.”

Me: “I swear.”

Customer #2: “How could she know how much my order would be?”

Me: “She left the amount line empty for me to fill in the cost of your order.”

Customer #2: “Well, s***, son! In that case, give me TWO [sandwich combos], four [sandwiches], four [other sandwiches], another large fries, a 20-piece [chicken nuggets], an apple pie, and a $50 gift certificate!”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer #2: “It’s a blank check, right? So just write what I f****** asked for.”

Me: “Hang on a minute.”

(My manager has been listening over my shoulder. He gives me a resigned shrug and tells me to do it. With all the items the customer asked for, the total is over $100. As I hand the customer his huge order, I also hand him the religious tract the woman gave me.)

Me: “She also asked me to give you this pamphlet, sir.”

Customer #2: *looking at it for two seconds before tossing it into his back seat* “Hah! Joke’s on her! I’m already a Christian!”

(I can still hear him laughing as he pulls away.)

 

Read this story as a comic!

You Say Potato, I Say Catholic

| NC, USA | Food & Drink, Religion

(My grandmother and I are serving food at an outdoor event. I have cooked mashed potatoes.)

Customer: “These potatoes are fantastic! I’ve had three servings.”

Me: “Well, thank you!”

Customer: “You must be from the First Baptist Church, because all of the best cooks are Baptist, you know.”

Me: “Actually, I’m not.”

Customer: “Oh, I guess you must be a Methodist then. Methodist women always did have a way with potatoes.”

Me: “No, I’m actually a Catholic.”

Customer: “Well, where the h*** did you come from?”

A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 3

| Ocean, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Religion

(It’s Friday the 13th. I’m ringing up some college-age students.)

Me: “Your total is $6.66.”

Customer: “Oh, no! And it’s Friday the 13th!”

Me: “No, no. It’s okay! You’re getting rid of the six sixty-six, not accepting it. It’d only be bad luck if you were getting it as change.”

Customer: *looking very relieved* “Okay… That sounds right. But what about you?”

Me: “I’ll be okay. It sounds strange, but 13 is actually a lucky number for me.”

(I ring her up and move on to her friend. By sheer chance, the total is $13.34, and I immediately see where this is going when she hands me a $20 bill.)

Me: “Uh. Your change is… $6.66.”

(She looked very uncomfortable as she took her change, and her friends teased her all the way out the door.)

Related:
A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2
A Price For The Devil To Pay