Category: Religion

There’s nothing worse than a stupid customer than a stupid customer with a cause. If these people had a maker he would likely have filed them under ‘rejects’.

Just A Normal Day In The Republic

| Poutlney, Vermont, USA | Bizarre, Politics, Religion

(I’m at the register when an older gentleman wearing an USMC cap walks briskly into the store. He asks if we still have our jumbo-sized eggs. I tell him yes and point him in the direction. The conversation happens while I’m cashing him out.)

Customer: “Do you have children?”

Me: “No, I do not.”

Customer: “Are you married?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Good. When you decide to have children, take it slow. Make sure you do it right.”

Me: “Okay… I will…?”

Customer: “What does your husband do?”

Me: “He works here in the store.”

Customer: “Oh, good. In the meantime, make sure he’s baptized and votes Republican. Have a good day now.”

Me: “You, too…” *to myself after customer walks out the door* “Did that really just happen?”

Tobaccosaurus

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Family & Kids, History, Pets & Animals, Religion

(I work as an educator in a science museum in St. Louis. One of the activities in my section of the museum involved putting together the cast of a Dromaeosaurus skeleton.)

Eight-Year-Old Boy: “I know why this dinosaur died.”

Me: “You do?”

Eight-Year-Old Boy: “He was a smoker.”

(Later that day, a middle school group is passing by…)

Seventh-Grade Girl: *addressing her peers* “This dinosaur died because he didn’t believe in Jesus.”

Jesus On The Munchies

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Religion

(I am a cashier at this restaurant.)

Customer: “I would like three sandwiches.”

Me: “Okay, that will be $3.65.”

Customer: “NO. I AM YOUR LORD, JESUS. YOU MUST GIVE TO ME FOR FREE.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to just give you a free meal.”

Customer: “BUT I AM JESUS. YOU MUST.” *he grabs the sandwiches and starts eating them*

Me: “What would Jesus do?”

Customer: “AHHH!” *throws a fit*

Manager: “You are banned from this restaurant, Jesus.”

(He paid with his credit card and his name was not Jesus, but Paul.)