Category: Politics

Like a little more satirical meat on your humor sandwich? Ever wonder what very stupid customers view as topical? Even worse, see what happens when these people decide they want to vote! Don’t blame the state of the world on the government, blame it on them!

Obama Drama

| Durham, NC, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Politics

(I work in a high-end stationery boutique, whose clientele is generally upper middle class and upper class white women in their 40s to 60s – the sort of people whose spending habits didn’t really change when the economy nose dived. This customer appeared to be no different, and the address on the check she paid with confirmed as much.)

Customer: “Where’s your clearance section?”

Me: “We actually don’t have clearance sales, outside of our semi-annual sales after Christmas and Father’s Day.”

Customer: “So everything in here is full-priced?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: *sighs loudly* “Fine, I’ll pay full-price. But I really need to be saving every penny, with that black man as president.”

Racism Needs To Check Out

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Politics

(I’m a cashier on an extremely hot Saturday afternoon in the bowels of Texas. I am bagging a customer’s goods.)

Customer: “You’re doing it wrong!”

Me: “Oh, so sorry! I’ll put these in a separate bag if you like.”

Customer: “God, you let one of them become president and the rest of you quit trying.”

Me: *biting my tongue* “Do you need help getting these into the cart, ma’am?”

Customer: “What color are you, anyway?”

(I hit the switch on the lights and called my manager over, who promptly checked the woman out. The customer vowed to visit the ‘white’ store next time.)

The American Way Is Closed

| Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Politics

(It’s store policy to have employees in the store 30 minutes before opening and 45 – 60 minutes after close to prep, clean, etc. We closed about 10 minutes ago and I am mopping the eating area. A customer bangs on the door. We’re required to interact with customers, even after close, so I go and crack the door open.)

Customer: “What the h***? I need a coffee. Let me in.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We closed 10 minutes ago. All of our coffee has been dumped and the machines are going through a cleaning cycle.”

Customer: “What? What are you doing here then?”

Me: “We have to clean the store and set up for tomorrow morning after close every night.”

Customer: “Seriously? They make you stay after close?”

Me: “Well, yes. We can’t clean the equipment while serving customers.”

Customer: “That’s monstrous! That’s slave labor!! I’m writing corporate about this!”

Me: “Sir, they still pay us… it’s standard procedure.”

Customer: “It’s horrible! I’m so sorry! This isn’t the American way!”

(He leaves, then, still mumbling about the ‘atrocity’ of our situation.)