Category: Politics

Like a little more satirical meat on your humor sandwich? Ever wonder what very stupid customers view as topical? Even worse, see what happens when these people decide they want to vote! Don’t blame the state of the world on the government, blame it on them!

Drive Through Democracy

, | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Politics

(A customer pulls up to my window, and he looks extremely similar to Bill Clinton.)

Me: “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Bill Clinton?”

Customer: “I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman!”

(The customer then proceeded, in full Clinton style, to light up a joint at my drive-through window.)

Fickle Over A Nickel

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money, Politics

(I have just completed a transaction with an otherwise calm customer. My city is right across the border from a major American city, and this customer has paid with American currency. Here, we have phased out the penny, and transactions either round up or down to the next .05 or .10.)

Me: “That will be $6.30, please.”

Customer: “But the screen says $6.27!”

Me: “Yes, but we do rounding here. 27 cents rounds up to 30.”

Customer: “Well that’s just ridiculous! I demand to see your manager! You’re trying to short change me! I know the tricks.”

Me: “Sir, it’s just three cents—”

Customer: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

(My manager, having heard all this, steps in.)

Manager: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to calm down. My worker here is not trying to short change you, nor is she lying to you.”

Customer: “I want a refund!”

Me: “You didn’t even pay yet.”

(I glance at the money still in this hand.)

Customer: *flustered* “Well, good! I didn’t want you taking my money anyways!”

(He left in a huff, muttering about ‘foreign commies out to get his money.’)

This Is Not What A Feminist Looks Like

| Dayton, OH, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Language & Words, Politics

(A woman approaches me at the counter, looking over her shoulder as if she is looking out for someone.)

Me: “Can I… help you, ma’am?”

Woman: “Yes, um, I was wondering if you had any books about…” *drops her voice to an urgent whisper* “… the ‘F’ word.”

Me: “Well, um, we have the ‘Kama Sutra’ in our world cultures section and our romance novel and erotica are—”

Woman: “No, no! The other ‘F’-word.”

Me: *thoroughly confused* “I’m afraid I’m not following ,ma’am…”

Woman: “The ‘F’-word, you know!”

Me: “Really, ma’am, I don’t. Would you like to write it down for me to—”

Woman: “FOR CHRIST’S SAKE! FEMINISM! I’m looking for a book on feminism! Now the whole store knows my business! THANK YOU!”

(She proceeds to quickly flee the store, apologizing to other patrons as she leaves.)

Next Customer: “Is she going to be all right?”

Me: “I certainly hope so.”